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DH took part of my income tax refund to pay his child support
by Anonymous
February 21, 2013 at 11:27 PM

I got my income tax refund yesterday. I have 3 kids and my refund was just over $7000. Anyway, me and DH keep our finances separate, that was the agreement we made when we got married, once the youngest child turns 18 (we don't have any together) we will put our money together. Until then, we split the bills fairly, I pay more because my kids live with us full time while his are here every other weekend.

DH is having a hard time lately, he was working overtime, 60 hours a week. Then. 8 months ago his boss told him he could no longer work overtime. He looked for a second job but hasn't been able to find one that would allow him to keep working his first. His CS was based on him working overtime so he tried to have it lowered in court. The judge told him that he would lower it to account for what he was actually making for 6 months but after that, it would go back. The judge said that after a year, if he can prove he attempted to get more hours or  a better paying job, he would lower it but that means there will be 6 months where he is paying more then half of what he makes in CS/ So now he is back to working based on making overtime but he is lucky to be getting 30 hours a week. He is still looking for a second job or a new full time job but he hasn't been able to find anything.

Over the past 2 months, he has gotten behind in child support despite the fact that I have taken over a good portion of the of the bills. He has talked to child support enforcement and told them his situation. They are not going to take his license nor will he face jail time over it since he is paying what he can. The order is $1300 a month, he is only making $2500 (the order was based on him making over $5000 a month. But still he feels bad that in January, he could only pay $600 and February, he could only pay $700 leaving him behind $1300. He also knows that he won't be able to make the full payment next month.

I told him that since he won't get in trouble legally, he will be fine and morally, he shouldn't have to pay that much because he is no longer making that amount but I know he still feels bad, his ex is being a bitch about it, for years, she has gotten a shit ton of money for 2 kids because he made a good amount, now that he is not making much, she still expects him to pay the same, she won't work with him at all.

This morning, I looked online at my account, and guess what,  $1000 is missing (you can only take out $1000 a day from the ATM). I was about to call the bank but then I checked my night stand and saw that my extra debit card was missing. I asked DH and he admitted that he took the money.

I was furious with him and to make matters worse, he tried to turn it on me, saying that I was being selfish not to help his kids. He was the one who insisted we keep our money separate when we got married, of course that was when he was making twice what I make. I am seriously considering filing for divorce, it's not even about the money so much anymore but the fact that he STOLE from me.


  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    February 21, 2013 at 11:28 PM
  • tharealty2
    February 21, 2013 at 11:29 PM

    omg.  yeah - thats dirty.  I don't know about divorce, but I would definitely seek some counseling.  I know its petty but I would 'hide' something of his that means alot and tell him you sold it to recoup some of the money he took.  

  • MrsDavidB25
    February 21, 2013 at 11:29 PM

     Wow. I would be pissed too. Would you have given him the $1000 if he asked you?

  • wildhorses420
    February 21, 2013 at 11:30 PM

    Oh I'd be pissed. I'd be about ready to file for divorce if I were you. If he's doing this now...what will happen next time?

  • ElitestJen
    February 21, 2013 at 11:30 PM


  • Val99
    by Val99
    February 21, 2013 at 11:30 PM

    I would not stay with a man who stole from me.  If he can't ask, he's not worth it.

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    February 21, 2013 at 11:32 PM

    As far as I'm concerned, when you marry someone and you KNOW they have children, you take on those responsibilities for those children. If you don't like it, don't marry the dude.

  • angevil53
    February 21, 2013 at 11:32 PM
    He's an asshole.
  • CV3
    by CV3
    February 21, 2013 at 11:32 PM

    Would you have given him the money if he asked?

  • littlesippycup
    February 21, 2013 at 11:32 PM

    dang don't be greedy, you have plenty to go around. 

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