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He said I gained too much weight :'( Sorry kinda long but please read!
by Anonymous
February 15, 2013 at 12:58 AM
My ex, who I've known for about 12 years, who was my first love...my first everything, recently told me I have gained too much weight...I usually don't care what anyone thinks but this hurt. See we broke up 7 years ago, apparently neither of us got over each other and have both admitted that we have thought of one another everyday since we split. We started talking again back in October and he hadn't seen me pretty much since we broke up when I was 17. I'm 24 now. I knew I'd gained a good bit of weight since then and I was afraid of him seeing me in person for that reason. One night I said screw it because I really wanted to be close to him and smell hos familiar smell again after so long. We were talking every chance we got before then, after he saw me he started acting different. I knew it was my appearance because he loves everything about me, except that I guess. He finally admitted to me about a week ago that my weight is an issue for him. He said he doesn't want to hurt me by saying that because he thinks I'm beautiful and he loves me but if we ever got back together he would like me to be the size I was when we broke up. I don't want him to know how much it hurt me, because I want to lose the weight myself, but he thinks if I stay the size I am now it will create an attraction issue and if we get back together he wants it to be forever. Says he knows this life is meant for us. That no one compares to me and just super sweet stuff like that. I'm with someone so I know it's not going to happen for us anytime soon because the guy I'm with is my childs father and I do love him. Being back with my ex is all I've wanted since we broke up but I'm not dropping everything for him, he hurt me SO badly and claims he wants to spend the rest of his days making it up to me but the whole fat thing just threw me off and kind of made me lose some respect for him. He recently got honorably discharged from the army and he's a very good looking guy. I actually still love him, I'm embarrassed to say that since I'm with someone but I can't just turn my feelings off like that. So now he's (my ex) is sleeping (fuck friends) with a girl I know and his ex-wifes friend and she's super skinny but not too pretty (I hate to judge but he's so sexy I know he could do better) but the super skinny part just frustrates me because I'll never be that small. Idk how to feel about what he said, I know I need to lose the weight but I don't want to do it for him, I want to do it for me and my little girl. I want to be healthy. I just can't help that it hurts. I really needed to get this off my chest. I hope someone can lend a few kind words or advice. My mind is so screwed up.

Replies

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    February 15, 2013 at 1:02 AM
    He's an ass anyway. Don't talk to him anymore, it'll just screw everything up.
  • DevinAnnesmom
    February 15, 2013 at 1:03 AM
    Personally, I'd stick with the guy who already loves you regardless of your weight. Your ex seems shallow.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    February 15, 2013 at 1:05 AM
    Thanks. I really have never been able to get over him and I know he means no harm because if he feels as if he has upset me he gets upset himself. He loved me before I gained this weight and he still loves me but not the extra me. Idk.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    He's an ass anyway. Don't talk to him anymore, it'll just screw everything up.

  • pbjtime87
    February 15, 2013 at 1:06 AM
    Sorry hunny that's not true love... You might have gained weight but a true man wouldn't expect you to drop weight just to be with them. He does not sound like a decent man at all
  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    February 15, 2013 at 1:06 AM
    "IF" he loves you like he said he does your weight wouldn't have been apart of the conversation.he's an ass,move on.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    February 15, 2013 at 1:07 AM
    I am staying with him. And if we split up and I've lost the weight, I hope my feelings are different for my ex.


    Quoting DevinAnnesmom:

    Personally, I'd stick with the guy who already loves you regardless of your weight. Your ex seems shallow.

  • BamBamsmomma
    February 15, 2013 at 1:12 AM
    My first question how big are you? Like size height and weight. My second question how do you have any respect for this man? My opinion if he really loved you for you then he wouldn't let your weight get in the way of that. You've had a baby and you are not 17 anymore. I have body issues I was 150 and had extreme body issues because I was close to 200 until I was almost 18 then dropped to 150 but the issues stayed now their stronger than ever because I'm back to 180 after having ds in November. Hearing that a man flat out told you you're fat upsets me that could do so much damage and he did it without a thought.
  • Anonymous 5
    by Anonymous 5
    February 15, 2013 at 1:13 AM
    Ok let's just look at the fact that you are emotionally cheating on the man you have now... Karma honey
  • Anonymous 6
    by Anonymous 6
    February 15, 2013 at 1:15 AM

    He tells you all these nice things, yet also tells you you're too fat and then proceeds to screw another woman?

    Yeah sounds like true love. Run far far away.

  • sadee456
    February 15, 2013 at 1:16 AM
    Girl, u shld sit and picture ur life realistically and long term outcomes and possible consequences before making any decisions. if you chose ur ex vs. staying in the relationship ur in. if something as small as weight is an issue, whats gonna happen when theres a more serious issue that needs to be faced? Will you be a strong enough couple to make it? Also picture the reality of having ur child deal with this as well. Ur first love will always have a place in ur heart but that doesnt mean hes the one for you.

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