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HELP! First time having sex since divorce..
by Anonymous
February 14, 2013 at 9:49 PM

I've been with the same man for 5 years, but now divorced, and have arrangements to have sex with a guy I've known for awhile that is also recently divorced. Neither of us want a relationship, we're simply fullfilling a need. I've kissed the guy, but nothing more than that. I'm going over there this weekend to have sex.

BUT I'm SUPER nervous. It's been years since I've had sex with anyone other than my ex and I'm worried about so much. Ladie, calm my fears.

1) I recently had a baby. No stretch marks, but my stomach isn't flat yet. He is VERY much in shape and fit, so I'm nervous about my body not being as perfect as his.

2) I'm breastfeeding. Seriously. What if I squirt milk on him!?

3) Do I need to shave down there? I shaved like two weeks ago, so it's not like a bush.. but my ex liked hair and absolutely hated a bald vajayjay, but then I know others that hate hair completely. What to do, what to do..?

4) What if I'm not any good? My ex husband and I had great sex, but we loved each other. I was comfortable with him.  I may not have that same comfort with this guy which may result in my being terrible.

Despite these fears, I REALLY want this. Like a dog in heat. I need this. Help me out, mamas.


  • BeAuTiFuL.BLiSs
    February 14, 2013 at 9:53 PM


    You're over thinking this way too much. He just wants to stick his dick in something, and you're it.

    I'm sure everything will be fine. Lol.

  • kirita323
    February 14, 2013 at 9:55 PM

    No need to shave, just trim the hedges. And remember, bad sex is better than no sex! Have fun!

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    February 14, 2013 at 9:56 PM

    Im totally aware that Im overthinking & yet, I cant stop.

    Quoting BeAuTiFuL.BLiSs:


    You're over thinking this way too much. He just wants to stick his dick in something, and you're it.

    I'm sure everything will be fine. Lol.

  • activitymode
    February 14, 2013 at 9:56 PM
    Relax. Trim. You have had sex before so I'm assuming you know how to do it.

    If you leak during it, laugh it off and tell him that it means you're super turned on lol
  • littlemomma2117
    February 14, 2013 at 9:56 PM
    Don't think about all that, just have a good time.
  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    February 14, 2013 at 9:58 PM

    I saw something once that said "Sex is like pizza, even if it's bad, it's still pretty good"


    You're putting WAY more thought into this than he is, I can tell you that for sure lol At least, nervous thinking anyways.

    Just relax. There's something about you that he likes. I'm sure he KNOWS you just had a baby, and he KNOWS you are breastfeeding and he's OK with that. If you squirt milk on him, laugh. Ask him how he prefers you to groom your lady parts. Get comfortable with him. It will happen.

    Good luck momma! 

  • LadyNCVE
    February 14, 2013 at 9:58 PM

    Prep yourself to the point where you feel hot.  If you're feeling good, that will be sexy enough.  Men are concerned about a lot less than we are. 

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    February 14, 2013 at 9:59 PM

    I'm nursing and leave my bra(with nursing pads!) on. Don't worry about your stretch marks and such! I would just say make sure you're groomed down there, but wouldn't say shave- unless you want to. And you'll be fine. It takes partners awhile to find a rhythm but I'm sure you'll find it. Good luck and have fun!

  • kngarber
    February 14, 2013 at 9:59 PM
    Lay on bed and spread legs.
    You're welcome :)
  • Kaya529
    by Kaya529
    February 14, 2013 at 10:00 PM
    Sometimes the fear and excitement can make it better. Deep breaths, trim, and be able to laugh at yourself. Once everything starts you'll wonder why you made such a big deal about it.

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