Mom Confessions

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WithHope
DD's teacher ignored... *edited*
February 14, 2013 at 7:04 PM
My daughter is sensitive to red dye. It makes her crazy. It makes her hyperactive & emotional as all get out. It brings about tantrums and is just generally unpleasant. Any amount of it seems to set her off. We've discussed this with her teacher (who has seen what it does to her) and requested she not give her food or drinks containing it. Today, being Valentine's day, we knew her class would be filled with it. We sent apple juice, rice krispy treats and cookies that she could have. We even sent a bag of dye free lolly pops, in case they had candy in class. When I picked DD up today the teacher said "DD did really well today. She said you told her she could have a little bit if red dye so she just chose a few of her favorites." I was LIVID. I get my kid lied and I dealt with that but she believed a 5 year old. If I say my kid can't have something don't you think it's common sense to check before believing (in the face of temptation) that something changed? I know it's not an allergy in a medical sense and no health problems follow a slip up but the teachers irresponsibility has me so mad. DH says I need to let it go but I really want to schedule a conference and tell the teacher how angry I am and how wrong she was. What if it could have had medical consequences? we trust this lady to keep her safe. if it were your kid what would you do?





*edit* The red dye allergy, along with several other food allergies are on her medical forms, on file at the school. We send lunch, snacks, treats etc so the teacher doesn't have to read labels and guess. My daughter was in the wrong for lying and faced several consequences for it. Believe me, little bit answered for her part in things. She had to write a note to the teacher admitting that she did not tell the truth, explain what prompted her to lie and tell how she could be assured she wouldn't do so again. She had to sit out at our Valentines tea party this evening too. This mama doesn't mess around with lying. The reason I am upset is I feel like the teacher who I trust and pay to supervise my child failed to do so. Fortunately this allergy wasn't deadly, for her, others could be.

Replies

  • anotherhalf
    February 14, 2013 at 7:06 PM
    I would just tell her that dd lied and you will never give her permission to have red dye and leave it at that.
  • Cmgmqmmom
    February 14, 2013 at 7:07 PM

    I was the same way with red dye as a child. I would practically climb walls I was so hyper.

    That being said, I think you need to drop it. Your daughter was not in any danger. She wasn't going to die from the food. If you think it needs to be addressed, a simple, calm letter just reminding the teacher that it causes her to be hyper would be sufficient. Why make it a big deal?

    Now, if the same teacher does it again, I'd say make a bigger deal of it.

    That's just my honest opinion. Good luck!

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    February 14, 2013 at 7:07 PM

    I wouldn't be too mad at the teacher. I would just let her know that you're glad dd did well despite the red dye today, but in the future she is just not to have it without parental permission.

  • KairisMama
    February 14, 2013 at 7:07 PM

     I'd call or e-mail the teacher explaining that your DD lied, and that you are upset about what has occured. Ask how you can be assured that it will not happen again.

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    February 14, 2013 at 7:08 PM

    schedule a conferencce she is the adult in the situation and should have known better

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    February 14, 2013 at 7:09 PM

    I would say take a couple of days before you talk to the teacher about this. Be clear with her that no matter what DD says, she is to have NO RED DYE. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.....

  • widowedmomoftwo
    February 14, 2013 at 7:09 PM

    it wasn't an allergy that would cause harm, so it wasn't really something she needed to say no, however, your daughter lied and then but the teacher on the spot.  Tell the teacher you don't allow it and no matter what she said she can't have it

  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    February 14, 2013 at 7:09 PM
    Oh boy here we go again. So was she a raging little princess when she got home?
  • gma12.1
    by gma12.1
    February 14, 2013 at 7:10 PM

     I would do this too.

    Quoting anotherhalf:

    I would just tell her that dd lied and you will never give her permission to have red dye and leave it at that.

     

  • ttriddick
    February 14, 2013 at 7:10 PM
    I would definitely send an email or letter stating the your daughter lied and you will not change your stance on the issue. Then I'd (just me what I would do) punish your daughter for lying. Both were in the wrong both should be addressed.

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