So, here's the deal, I'm married to my 'high school sweetheart' but things haven't been going so well since I've had my daughter. Our sex life has gone done so much that when ever it does happen, it's like we're just doing it to do it, we don't connect, and then after we do our thing we ALWAYS end up arguing about something stupid. He spends more time playing video games and computer games then he does talking to me, or playing with our daughter. He gets super upset when I ask to go out with my friends saying things like, "You don't need 'alone time', when I want alone time I'm at work, you can do the same" or trying to tell me that I go out all the time, and he NEVER gets to go anywhere, when I tell him to go out and hang out with his friends... And it's not like I haven't tried talking to him, because I have, about everything, but he twists my words to make it seem like I'm not uderstanding, and I don't care... Truth is, I don't understand... I don't get why I'm the "bad" person in this relationship...
And well my list does on and on, but I think y'all get the idea... Any avice? Is this just a 'phase'?
How old is your daughter? Is she your guys' first?
Sometimes after having a new baby couples have a hard time. It's just a simple fact of life. When you talk to him could he be taking it as you being hostile? Have there been any other life changing events or stress added? How long have you been married?
by Anonymous - Original Poster
February 12, 2013 at 12:37 AM
Our daughter will be 1 March 2nd and she is our 1st. We will have been together for 5 years in May, and married for 3 years in October.
When we talk about what's going on, his reaction always changes, one day he'll be like, 'okay baby, I'm sorry, I'll help out more..' and other days he blows up saying that I lie about him playing games all the time, and that snow balls an argument. And it's not like I yell at him, I talk to him like I would anyone else with concern in my voice, but he just... Idk, it's crazy... And no, there haven't been any other big changes in our life,
February 12, 2013 at 1:51 AM
get rid of the games. Im a gamer too generally (would literally spend hours and hours until I beat the game) but since having kids, those days are over.
February 12, 2013 at 2:25 AM
My DH and I have gone through this, he was honest and told me when we have "bad" sex it makes him grouchy and that's when he would be an ass to me after, yes I was being lazy and not into it I was just surprised because I didn't know there was " bad sex" for men. Lol. Can you muster up enough lust and strength to do him like you use too? If so give it a try and see how he acts afterwards, you may be pleasantly surprised!
by Anonymous - Original Poster
February 12, 2013 at 2:54 AM
When is comes to getting down and dirty in bed, well honestly, it feels like I'm the one who starts it, and even then when I try to start it, he never wants it, and I putmy all in it every time, and it always ends the same.. He gets up, and that moment is over... I have to ask him to hold me, even if we don't have sexy... It's becoming ridiculous