SO cheated and still wants to remain friends with the girl
February 10, 2013 at 8:46 AM
update: I am not a troll. Apparently I was wavering on the edge of being just that stupid. But I'm glad I posted, because you all are right. Its hard, because before we got together we were best friends for a long time and he was never this way at all, but I need to remind myself that the man I knew is not the one standing before me these days.
He texted twice yesterday. Once with a heart, and I told him "I'm still "crazy", "insecure" and unwilling to support your friendship with the woman you cheated on me with. Be glad we're through. Please leave me alone." He texted later, asking me to come over and watch a movie, and I ignored him. I haven't heard anything since. He obviously isn't taking me seriously, and I agree with you all- I showed him the first time that he really didn't need to. Its a shame, because eventually the anger and hurt will subside and I'll miss him, but I do need to respect myself more than this. Thanks, all.
Before this happened, we were amazing- happy, fun, trusting, loving- I sincerely was head over heels with him, he was my best friend and lover and I trusted him completely. We were talking about making a life together- moving in, marriage, etc. Then he met this girl who was completely into him. One night she went over his house with alcohol. He said she was on a mission and that he just let her have her way, but that he was so drunk, it was so bad, it was empty compared to what we have, it was a mistake, he didn't want her, etc. He said if I had only come over it wouldn't have happened. It hurt like hell but eventually I forgave him and we got back together.
Fast forward two months. We all went on a weekend trip, a whole bunch of our friends. I had to leave early for my neiece's birthday party. This girl showed up and apparently he spent the next days buying her dinner, holding hands, and yes, having sex with her. I found out from her friend that this had happened. He was texting me loving things all the same time texting her compliments about their time together.
Obviously we broke up again. The girl found out about me and didn't talk to him either for a while.
We stayed apart for some time. Then he began pursuing me again- swearing he wasn't that sort of man, he fucked up, etc. I slowly began speaking to him again and recently we began dating again, but I am really distrustful and guarded. Then I find out that he is still talking to this girl!!! He says he's been clear with her that they are just friends, but she doesn't know he is dating anyone. there is an event coming up where they will both be, and I'm afraid the same thing will happen again. We fought about her yesterday and he says I'm crazy and wrong for "telling him who he can be friends with" and that he can't just stop talking to her because that would be rude. He said my insecurities are incredibly damaging to our relationship and that he did not expect this insecure, jealous side of me. I do love him, and I miss what we had, but I don't like the nagging feeling that when hes not with me hes with her. Am I out of line? Am I crazy for wanting him to cut off his cheating partner to continue a relationsdhip with me?
You are not crazy or out of line. Seriously you need to drop this guy for good. He will continue to lie and cheat. Don't fall for his lies, Don't let him make you feel like you are the problem in your relationship. You are not the problem HE is the problem. Leave him and don't look back. Do you have kids with him?
Why would you go back!? He will keep doing it, especially if he is still seeing the girl. If he stops talking to her he will eventually find a new one. You will never be happy in a relationship with him anymore. Go find someone that will love and respect you. Trust is a core requirement for a relationship to work, you're fooling yourself of you think he won't do it again.