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Anonymous
How do I convince my DH to ttc?
by Anonymous
February 7, 2013 at 1:12 AM

Dh and I have one child. Ever since we got together we talked about having multiple children but now DH isn't so sure. Our LO will be 2 soon and I am having baby fever. I'm trying to convince DH that we should start ttc but he keeps saying no because of what I went through when I had our DD. That is his only reason. 

I had a very horrific labor and while I understand that he doesn't want that to happen again, we now know what to look out for and every pregnancy is different. How can I convince him that pregnancy #2 won't be bad just because pregnancy #1 was?

I should also add that I am very healthy now and I would consult with my OBGYN before ttc just to be sure that I'm physically ready. 

Replies

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    February 7, 2013 at 2:16 AM

    I'm glad you guys are happy (: 

    And I definitely will! Thank you so much for your advice! 


    Quoting Anonymous:

    Yes you do and i hope you get an ay okay!! Thank you it's ok we're happy and DH is in love with his new baby. Good luck and keep us updated!! I would really like to follow your baby story =>


    Quoting Anonymous:

    I'm so sorry :( 

    We would definitely need the doctors go ahead before ttc



    Quoting Anonymous:

    Like i said they'd label you or tell you.... ok my dh absolutely definitely didn't want anymore babies, i did. With my babies i had complications during labor it wasn't fun or great to witness for him. Last year Valentines day he said he would like to try and if it didn't happen then it's not ment to be i thought every pregnancy wasn't the same we're both working we're financially doing great why not?? I found out i was pregnant in April my entire pregnancy was painful i even bled at one point. His fears came true :( in December i went into labor and again it wasn't going smoothly it even got to a point where i was on oxygen babys heart rate was dropping. I don't ever want to experience all of that ever again or my baby. Im not fit to do it anymore. Im just saying...know your limits be safe and get a full physical take DH with you and ask So Doc What'dya say?? Can we have another baby!!!? Lol Help him talk to him let him know it's all going to be ok =>





    Quoting Anonymous:

    You're right, I know it scared him more than me. And that's why I would talk to my doctor before ttc. 




    Quoting Anonymous:

    You think? You should know it did! How could it not? In his mind and from where he was standing he almost lost you! And doctors would either closely monitor you label you high rish or just flat out tell you pregnancy might be not such a good idea.








    Quoting Anonymous:

    I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't remember most of what happened and he was saw the entire thing so I think it scares him more than me. But I also know that they will keep a closer eye on me knowing what happened before. 





    Quoting Anonymous:

    After reading your other reply you would be high risk pregnancy and i understand where your husband is coming from. I wouldn't want to ttc either. But that's just me











    Quoting Anonymous:

    I don't. But I also don't want to let the fear of what happened keep me from having more kids. 






    Quoting Anonymous:

    How do you know it won't be as bad as #1?































  • Sassy762
    February 7, 2013 at 2:17 AM

    Then DH to the doctor with you. And  you need to have a discussion with him and tell him  how much you really want another child. IF the doctor feels it would be too hard on you then would you two be open to adoption?

    IF however the doctor feels you can safely have another child then you have to come to a compromise with DH. IF the doctor said you can carry another child then DH should agree

    Make this agreement BEFORE you go to see the doctor

    In DH's defense he is probably scared to death of losing you and the baby....kwim

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I would do almost anything to have another one. I know in my heart that I want more. But I would never do anything behind his back and I would talk to a doctor to be sure that I am physically ready. We would discuss other options, like adoption, if the doctor tells us no. 

    Quoting Sassy762:

    How far are you willing to go or do to have another baby?????




  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    February 7, 2013 at 2:19 AM
    Your Welcome! Just take care of yourself! It's late im off to bed => Good Night *


    Quoting Anonymous:

    I'm glad you guys are happy (: 

    And I definitely will! Thank you so much for your advice! 



    Quoting Anonymous:

    Yes you do and i hope you get an ay okay!! Thank you it's ok we're happy and DH is in love with his new baby. Good luck and keep us updated!! I would really like to follow your baby story =>





    Quoting Anonymous:

    I'm so sorry :( 

    We would definitely need the doctors go ahead before ttc




    Quoting Anonymous:

    Like i said they'd label you or tell you.... ok my dh absolutely definitely didn't want anymore babies, i did. With my babies i had complications during labor it wasn't fun or great to witness for him. Last year Valentines day he said he would like to try and if it didn't happen then it's not ment to be i thought every pregnancy wasn't the same we're both working we're financially doing great why not?? I found out i was pregnant in April my entire pregnancy was painful i even bled at one point. His fears came true :( in December i went into labor and again it wasn't going smoothly it even got to a point where i was on oxygen babys heart rate was dropping. I don't ever want to experience all of that ever again or my baby. Im not fit to do it anymore. Im just saying...know your limits be safe and get a full physical take DH with you and ask So Doc What'dya say?? Can we have another baby!!!? Lol Help him talk to him let him know it's all going to be ok =>








    Quoting Anonymous:

    You're right, I know it scared him more than me. And that's why I would talk to my doctor before ttc. 





    Quoting Anonymous:

    You think? You should know it did! How could it not? In his mind and from where he was standing he almost lost you! And doctors would either closely monitor you label you high rish or just flat out tell you pregnancy might be not such a good idea.











    Quoting Anonymous:

    I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't remember most of what happened and he was saw the entire thing so I think it scares him more than me. But I also know that they will keep a closer eye on me knowing what happened before. 






    Quoting Anonymous:

    After reading your other reply you would be high risk pregnancy and i understand where your husband is coming from. I wouldn't want to ttc either. But that's just me














    Quoting Anonymous:

    I don't. But I also don't want to let the fear of what happened keep me from having more kids. 







    Quoting Anonymous:

    How do you know it won't be as bad as #1?









































  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    February 7, 2013 at 2:20 AM

    We would be very open to adoption. But I would love to actually be pregnant again. 

    I feel like if the doctor tells us that I can carry another baby then he would be on board considering his only fear is mine (and the baby's) health during the pregnancy. We've talked about this a lot before but I'm just not sure how to approach him in a way to make him understand. 


    Quoting Sassy762:

    Then DH to the doctor with you. And  you need to have a discussion with him and tell him  how much you really want another child. IF the doctor feels it would be too hard on you then would you two be open to adoption?

    IF however the doctor feels you can safely have another child then you have to come to a compromise with DH. IF the doctor said you can carry another child then DH should agree

    Make this agreement BEFORE you go to see the doctor

    In DH's defense he is probably scared to death of losing you and the baby....kwim

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I would do almost anything to have another one. I know in my heart that I want more. But I would never do anything behind his back and I would talk to a doctor to be sure that I am physically ready. We would discuss other options, like adoption, if the doctor tells us no. 

    Quoting Sassy762:

    How far are you willing to go or do to have another baby?????






  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    February 7, 2013 at 2:20 AM

    Goodnight!! 


    Quoting Anonymous:

    Your Welcome! Just take care of yourself! It's late im off to bed => Good Night *


    Quoting Anonymous:

    I'm glad you guys are happy (: 

    And I definitely will! Thank you so much for your advice! 



    Quoting Anonymous:

    Yes you do and i hope you get an ay okay!! Thank you it's ok we're happy and DH is in love with his new baby. Good luck and keep us updated!! I would really like to follow your baby story =>





    Quoting Anonymous:

    I'm so sorry :( 

    We would definitely need the doctors go ahead before ttc




    Quoting Anonymous:

    Like i said they'd label you or tell you.... ok my dh absolutely definitely didn't want anymore babies, i did. With my babies i had complications during labor it wasn't fun or great to witness for him. Last year Valentines day he said he would like to try and if it didn't happen then it's not ment to be i thought every pregnancy wasn't the same we're both working we're financially doing great why not?? I found out i was pregnant in April my entire pregnancy was painful i even bled at one point. His fears came true :( in December i went into labor and again it wasn't going smoothly it even got to a point where i was on oxygen babys heart rate was dropping. I don't ever want to experience all of that ever again or my baby. Im not fit to do it anymore. Im just saying...know your limits be safe and get a full physical take DH with you and ask So Doc What'dya say?? Can we have another baby!!!? Lol Help him talk to him let him know it's all going to be ok =>








    Quoting Anonymous:

    You're right, I know it scared him more than me. And that's why I would talk to my doctor before ttc. 





    Quoting Anonymous:

    You think? You should know it did! How could it not? In his mind and from where he was standing he almost lost you! And doctors would either closely monitor you label you high rish or just flat out tell you pregnancy might be not such a good idea.











    Quoting Anonymous:

    I completely understand where he's coming from. I don't remember most of what happened and he was saw the entire thing so I think it scares him more than me. But I also know that they will keep a closer eye on me knowing what happened before. 






    Quoting Anonymous:

    After reading your other reply you would be high risk pregnancy and i understand where your husband is coming from. I wouldn't want to ttc either. But that's just me














    Quoting Anonymous:

    I don't. But I also don't want to let the fear of what happened keep me from having more kids. 







    Quoting Anonymous:

    How do you know it won't be as bad as #1?











































  • Sassy762
    February 7, 2013 at 2:24 AM

    Well Fix him a great dinner or go out to dinner on Valentines Day. GO all out, buy him favorite stuff, do whatever he wants to do (sexy lingerie, chocolate/strawberries,whip cream, champagne)  and then have that talk with him then......on Valentines Day. Try to get a doctors appointment on the 15th, so he won't have time to change his mind or think about it too hard

    Quoting Anonymous:

    We would be very open to adoption. But I would love to actually be pregnant again. 

    I feel like if the doctor tells us that I can carry another baby then he would be on board considering his only fear is mine (and the baby's) health during the pregnancy. We've talked about this a lot before but I'm just not sure how to approach him in a way to make him understand. 


    Quoting Sassy762:

    Then DH to the doctor with you. And  you need to have a discussion with him and tell him  how much you really want another child. IF the doctor feels it would be too hard on you then would you two be open to adoption?

    IF however the doctor feels you can safely have another child then you have to come to a compromise with DH. IF the doctor said you can carry another child then DH should agree

    Make this agreement BEFORE you go to see the doctor

    In DH's defense he is probably scared to death of losing you and the baby....kwim

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I would do almost anything to have another one. I know in my heart that I want more. But I would never do anything behind his back and I would talk to a doctor to be sure that I am physically ready. We would discuss other options, like adoption, if the doctor tells us no. 

    Quoting Sassy762:

    How far are you willing to go or do to have another baby?????







  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    February 7, 2013 at 2:26 AM

    That's a GREAT idea!! I need to start planning now! haha


    Quoting Sassy762:

    Well Fix him a great dinner or go out to dinner on Valentines Day. GO all out, buy him favorite stuff, do whatever he wants to do (sexy lingerie, chocolate/strawberries,whip cream, champagne)  and then have that talk with him then......on Valentines Day. Try to get a doctors appointment on the 15th, so he won't have time to change his mind or think about it too hard

    Quoting Anonymous:

    We would be very open to adoption. But I would love to actually be pregnant again. 

    I feel like if the doctor tells us that I can carry another baby then he would be on board considering his only fear is mine (and the baby's) health during the pregnancy. We've talked about this a lot before but I'm just not sure how to approach him in a way to make him understand. 


    Quoting Sassy762:

    Then DH to the doctor with you. And  you need to have a discussion with him and tell him  how much you really want another child. IF the doctor feels it would be too hard on you then would you two be open to adoption?

    IF however the doctor feels you can safely have another child then you have to come to a compromise with DH. IF the doctor said you can carry another child then DH should agree

    Make this agreement BEFORE you go to see the doctor

    In DH's defense he is probably scared to death of losing you and the baby....kwim

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I would do almost anything to have another one. I know in my heart that I want more. But I would never do anything behind his back and I would talk to a doctor to be sure that I am physically ready. We would discuss other options, like adoption, if the doctor tells us no. 

    Quoting Sassy762:

    How far are you willing to go or do to have another baby?????









  • pampire
    by pampire
    February 7, 2013 at 2:40 AM

    You don't convince him you just talk to him openly about what you want and why you want it.  See if he's willing to go to an OBGYN consult with you and hear the doctor's opinion.

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