Update: when he came home, without my asking, he showed me the receipts from the bank. He said it took 5 mins @ the bank, he had to take money out and put into his bro's account as per lawyers request so he could show he has money, that's another matter that I do know about. He then returned the money back to our account all in a few mins. He asked why I'm suspicious. I said one day I feel like you will up and do something to cause a situation where our family will break up. I've been a Sahm for nearly 11 years. He earns well. My teaching job will get me 35 K to raise our kids. I don't know if I can count on him through the years because of these little things he does. He said he bought this big house for us, the cars, my staying home is for me and the kids. That we will grow old together. He said money isn't everything, and it shouldn't be the only thing to keep me feeling secure.
My dh went out this morning to drop his bro off to work. It only takes about 30 mins altogether, so when it was getting to be an hour I texted dh saying I will head out for errands since you're still not home. No reply from him.
i know he is also taking the same bro to the lawyer to sort out some things for the guy. I always suspect he is paying for the lawyer fees, but it is taboo in our home to bring it up. Apparently I am lucky to be a Sahm, I'm taken care of and o are the kids.
when I left to do my errands, I had a nagging feeling he would be at the bank. No big deal, but I followed my gut and there is our car at the bank. I text him saying what's holding him up. He says he went to the sports store as the kids needed something etc. I said, ok I thought you were at the bank till a few mins ago.
he replies no.
I said, I saw the car there. He says I saw you drive off too, why are you spying on me? I don't know either. I knew he probably was taking money out to pay the lawyer. The same month, where he said he didn't have enough to give me my usual monthly spending money.
im hurt, I told him if I lied how would you feel? I'm your wife you should include me on what's going on. I unloaded a lot of feelings. Etc etc. we ended up in a huge fight.
by Anonymous - Original PosterFebruary 4, 2013 at 11:07 PM
Yes, this is what I thought too. But when it is his family, I'm supposed to be hushed up since he takes care of us very well.
I would tell him its not about the money its about trust and that he shouldn't have to sneak around about finances. You guys are a unit so it is both of yours business. Being open and honest is important.
by Anonymous - Original PosterFebruary 4, 2013 at 11:09 PM
Are you serious? What does my education and professional standing have to do with this situation? I chose to take on the role of Sahm, he has his job as a provider and head of household in most respects. It may not be 2013 in your back of the woods mentality, but most people with our financial status have educated wives who stay home raising their kids. We don't fight tooth and nail for everything, because the overall picture is bright. But, this feeling of being lied to has nothing to do with being a teacher.
I find it very hard to believe you are a teacher given all of the ignorance in this post.