I won't go anon because its no secret, but I have felt the same way too. You need to stay strong and get some help so you can be there for your little one. See a therapist if you need to, if you have an untreated diagnoses then they may want to give you medication. Do whatever it takes to stay strong for your child. He/she needs you. You're only given one mother in life, don't take that away from your little one. You can PM me if you'd like.
sweetheart you don't want to do that, when we lost a relative in her old age, a long while in years after she had heart surgery, she fought to stay for so long, and when making a memorial online for, her, i was sad to see memorials dedicated to teens/young adults who 's cause of death was suicide. not good at all. i didn't realise how common suicide is in teenagers/young adults until i saw those memorials, dedicated to victims of suicide.