Mom Confessions
Question is, I don't even know how to discipline for this. I've never dealt with either of my kids being violent. Any advice? I don't know anymore details than what I've written.
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I would wait and find out if he did it in self defense.
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We aren't even at elementary age yet (my first starts in the fall) I would definitely be talking w him abt it no judgements just see what he says and punish based off that I guess -
First find out if he was defending himself or someone else against a physical threat. If so, don't punish. At all. We should all stand up for our selves and others.
If he was defending himself for "bullying" (I hate that term, but it may be appropriate here), then punish just a little (ie, take away a toy for a week). Boys need to set boundaries. If another kid was giving him a hard time, ds wanted it to stop without tattling. That's commendable, IMO. Ds won't get "bullied" again by that kid.
If your kid started, lay down the law. He loses everything and has to make a heartfeld apology to the other kid.
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Try to find out why he did it. Even if it was self defence, he will have to learn other ways to deal with it.
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I act like the judicial system here. He gets to state his case. Punishment comes based on that.
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Do not yell at him or anything.
He is old enough to sit him down and get information out of him. If it's not normal behavior for him then he was provoked.
I would then explain that it's not okay to put your hands on someone unless you are defending himself.
Try to give him positive reenforcement as much as you can.
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Keep in mind sometimes it takes a few days to get enough details out of a little one to figure out what really happened. They don't always have a clear understanding of the sequence of events. They may not remember to tell you that the other kid pushed them down every day the last week. They may say "I don't know" if you quiz too much.