I was chatting with another mom friend recently when the topic of kids who call their parents by their first names -- you know, instead of "mom" or "dad." We both agreed that it's sort of cute when little kids fall into the habit accidentally, like a 2-year-old cousin of mine who used to call her dad "Bill." There was just something hilarious about the way her odd choice played into everyday conversation: "And then I went to the park with Mommy and Bill, and then Bill pushed me on the swing, and then Mommy said no ice cream but Bill said okay!"
If you didn't know better, you'd wonder if maybe Mommy wasn't having an affair with this "Bill" character. Anyway, we also agreed that hearing a teen calling her dad "Bill" (or her mom "Kate" or whatever) is a different sort of animal altogether. I'm not sure how I would feel about my 11-year-old, for example, calling me by my first name. On the one hand, what's the big deal?
What difference does it really make? On the other, it's the kind of seemingly trivial thing that can end up meaning so much more.
Some parents I know would take their kid calling them by name as a sign of disrespect, which I guess I understand. But for me, I think it would be more about ... loss. Like being demoted, or something. When you think about it, you're going to call pretty much every single person you meet in your entire life by name. Besides teachers, doctors, dentists, police officers and people in the military or clergy, that is. And even then, there's the possibility of overlap. You might meet more than one Mr. Franklin or Dr. Shapiro over the years ... but in the vast majority of cases, you only get one (maybe two) people designated as Mom or Dad.
I don't want to miss out on being one of those people, especially when I already am one of those people. If you know what I mean. I had the kids. I am a mom. I am THEIR mom. If the shoe fits, call a spade a spade? Oh, you know what I mean.
Would you let your kids call you by your name?
by bcollJanuary 24 at 1:56 PM
I don't think I'd be comfortable with that.
January 24 at 1:56 PM
Nope... My husband calls his father by his name. He says when our son is older and speaking that he will be called dad and not by his first name like he did its his father.
January 24 at 1:56 PMNo!
by beerabitch69January 24 at 1:57 PM
I don't know, maybe. Not when they are young.
January 24 at 2:00 PMNo.
by jessi2girlsJanuary 24 at 2:01 PM
My oldest went through a phase of liking to call people by their first name when whe was about 18 months old.. by the time she was 2-2 1/2 it quickly faded..
I didn't mind, because she was exploring language and it's many uses.
January 24 at 2:04 PM
if they wanted to sure i dont really see the problem unless they were calling me bad words i dont really care
by ImNotKarlJanuary 24 at 2:05 PM
My son switches back and forth. I don't mind. It's not a big deal. He's 2, but even if he did it when he got older, I wouldn't mind. The importance of my role isn't in my title. It's not like I call him Son all the time.
Your child calling you mom,mommy, mama etc is the most precious thing to hear everyday. Only idiots would give up that privilege. It implies a very distinct relationship. Not everyone can be called by this name...the name carries a special meaning. Perhaps if the situation is such that the "mom"didn't come with all the motherly things, it could be different.