I'm watching "The Mistress" on TV, a series where a former mistress helps other mistresses (of married men) get past the relationship and solve personal issues.
The last woman on the show was 30 with two kids, she had been seeing a married man for almost 9 years. He promised her that he was going to divorce his wife many years ago and of course she ate it up for 9 years. One of her children is from a previous relationship and the other is from this current affair. She and her kids live with her mom, as well. The host told her to confront him about where the relationship was going, so she did, and reported back that he broke it off. The host was flabbergasted, "no, no! He's not the one that was supposed to break it off, you were! He doesn't have control, you do! You shouldn't have let him do that."
Ummm, come again? It's his damn right to break it off whenever he wants, sure he's a total scumbag but you're the idiot that sat around on your ass for 9 years believing you'd someday be his one and only.
I said homewrecker because that was the most polite word I could think of. And yes, even if he never leaves his wife, their marriage is destroyed. I also never claimed that the husband has no blame in this, the post was talking about mistresses though. I have to say, I wonder why you are working so hard to defend adulteresses myself. Are you one?
BTW, if it was an "open" marriage (if there is any such thing) then the husband wouldn't be cheating, would he?
Not a homewrecker, if he never leaves the wife. Not a homewrecker, if the wife never finds out or she agrees with the relationship (i.e. "open" marriage). In any case, the real homewrecker, if things fall apart at home, is the cheating husband. If he doesn't want to risk his marriage, he shouldn't make the choice to cheat. The OW is a convenient person to blame, but look towards the middle--the cheater--for the person to blame.
BTW, she is also not a whore unless she sells her body for payment.
If you know the guy is married, you are not a victim. You are a homewrecker.
You can't make a blanket statement like this, unless you have been a mistress yourself? How do you know?
You're not a victim when you're a mistress, you're just a whore and generally speaking a stupid whore for falling for the BS. You get what you deserve when you act like that. Not pity from me, just chuckles and I told you so!