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Anonymous
Shes mad at me for choosing to use the same name as the Baby she miscarried,,,but I don't think I'm in the wrong
by Anonymous
January 22, 2013 at 10:58 PM
I'm 32 weeks pregnant.
We finally settled on a name.
Evelyn Nicole.
My best friend flipped when i told her the name.

Her: you can NOT use Evelyn.

Me:...what do you mean? That's the name we chose. Of course we can use it. We're naming her after my grandma.

She Started crying and screaming then called me a bitch and stormed off

I called John, her husband to find Out what the hell was going on.

He said that when she had found Out she was pregnant they already had names picked and they chose Evelyn for a girl.

She miscarried at 15 weeks
That was A year and a Half ago.

But she never told me they had already picked names.

My first baby was still born

I understand why she's upset; but I didn't know.

I tried to talk to her and she yelled at me and called me a selfish inconsiderate bitch.

I understand shes hurting but I don't think I did anything wrong or deserve to be treated like this.

I wasn't aware they had picked names. If I had known we wouldn't have gone anywhere near that boundary. But I didn't know, so what was I suppose to do, take every name we liked and run it by her to make sure it was ok?


I know she's hurt, I've been there.
But I don't know what to do now.
I love the name. But I don't want to hurt her even more since now I do know that it's the same name :(

Replies

  • Jessica_Esqueda
    January 22, 2013 at 11:01 PM

    1- You didn't know she'd picked that name. 

    2- It's a family name

    3- It was a year and a half ago. 


    Name your child Evelynn. She doesn't own rights to the name. Sooner or later, she WILL understand. 

  • calvinsmommy18
    January 22, 2013 at 11:02 PM
    You didn't know she had it picked but if she's your bff and you want to keep her as a friend you may consider picking a new name. Idk.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 22, 2013 at 11:03 PM
    Pick a new name.
  • bombshellmommy
    January 22, 2013 at 11:03 PM
    I don't think you are wrong.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 22, 2013 at 11:04 PM

    If it was my best friend, I'd change the name..... 

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 22, 2013 at 11:05 PM

    Keep the name and give your friend some space and time to get over it.  If she doesn't, it's not on you.

  • agrisham13mom
    January 22, 2013 at 11:05 PM
    That's really difficult! I think you both need a day or so to take a breather than sit down and talk to her about it. It is really hard to lose a child as you know and maybe she is just hurting and wouldn't be able to look into your babies eyes knowing she could have had an Evelyn KWIM? I am not saying either if you is in the wrong because that is a touchy subject. I think you just both need to talk and hopefully come to a compromise if you want to have a relationship continue. Good luck!
  • brettsmomma
    January 22, 2013 at 11:06 PM

     Honestly it would depend on how close I was to her. I have had a friend for over 20 years if something like this hurt her so bad I would rethink the name. However if she is just a common acquaintance and you didn't know the name ahead of time who cares.

  • Maevelyn
    January 22, 2013 at 11:06 PM

    I don't think you did anything wrong and she needs some time to cool off. If you didn't know you didn't know. 

  • misskriss10
    January 22, 2013 at 11:06 PM

    It is YOUR child. Name her whatever you would like. She does not have dibs on the name just because she miscarried. I understand that she's grieving but she doesn't need to take it out on you. She'll come around eventually. 

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