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Is my Mom going too far with my daughter??
by Anonymous
January 22, 2013 at 12:34 PM

I feel like my mother treats Dd as if we're in a custody agreement with her, which we're not. 

Dd is 2 years old. Let me first state that my mother USUALLY  asks me before she buys things for her. But the issues between my mother and I run deep and they are something i'm going to therapy for. I mean deeeeeep deep issues that I believe start before I was even born.

Ever since Dd was born my mother treats me as if she and I are sharing custody of dd and thats not the case. It once got to a point where I didn't want to see or talk to her for a little over a month and consequently she didn't see dd because of it She has to realize that things are at MY discretion, not hers. After that month she got better but over time she's showing signs of regressing back to that point again.

I feel like she's at THE point in her life where she wanted to be when she was actually raising children. She has a nice house now, the man she wants to be with, the income, etc etc. When she was raising myself and my brother she was with my dad (who did drugs and cheated, he wasn't a bad person though, he just made bad choices, I want to make that PERFECTLY clear), they moved from place to place to place, and they never had any money. To me it seems that she see's Dd as her second chance at parenthood and is trying to exclude me from that. She's doing things with Dd that I feel is MY right to do with her, you know, firsts.

Her latest instance is that she bought Dd a tricycle. This broke my heart because it's something I wanted to do first for Dd and I felt she was too young for it. I planned on getting a tricycle for her third birthday. So I told my mother that I appreciate it but I wanted to teach dd to ride it and asked to take it home. She kind of avoided my request and the tricycle is still at her house.

When I went to get Dd from her house the other night she had dd sit in her tricycle and my mother has been teaching her to ride it when I'm not there! Again, my heart broke because this is something I really really want to be the one to do. Dh agree's with me. 

I'm thinking of insisting on taking the tricycle home with me (so I can continue her education in riding it) and if she refuses then not allowing dd over there until she gives it to me. Am I being ridiculous??


  • MalakbelLacuna
    January 22, 2013 at 12:35 PM
    what else besides the tricycle is bothering you?
    kind of ridiculous on the surface to me, but I think you may have just thrown that out there as an example so I need to know more.
  • teenmom0305
    January 22, 2013 at 12:38 PM


  • keversole
    January 22, 2013 at 12:38 PM

    i know this sounds kind of petty but i would buy her a better tricycle to keep at home and then teach her how to ride it before my mother had another chance lol

  • queenamy
    January 22, 2013 at 12:39 PM

    what?! i dont see any harm at all.. alot of grandparents love to spoil the grandbabies.. 

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    January 22, 2013 at 12:41 PM

    I agree, your mom is overstepping here and needs to back-off.

  • momma2mms
    January 22, 2013 at 12:41 PM

    Yes. Sounds really petty to me.

  • sstef126
    January 22, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    I thinking you are taking things to heart that aren't being done to hurt you.... Grandmas often spoil their grandchildren.. Be grateful, I wish I had a grandma to have done things with me....

  • kryptomom
    January 22, 2013 at 12:42 PM

    On the tricycle issue, you are being ridiculous.  "Firsts" are fun, but not terribly important.

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    January 22, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    if you didnt buy the tricycle then what gives you the right to insist on taking it home? I understand why you are upset but shes a grandparent..sometimes you have to learn to SHARE the special moments...let someone else have one once in awhile.

  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    January 22, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    Stop letting DD around your mom. My parents are now trying to get guardianship of my daughter through the courts because I didn't stop the oversteppi ng soon enough :( grandparents can suck

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