Mom Confessions

Anonymous
I just found out my husband is dealing drugs
by Anonymous
January 21, 2013 at 3:37 AM

My husband and I separated last summer because I found out he selling all of his prescription pain killers. He is on oxycotin and oxycodone. We were separated for 3 months and he promised to stop selling his pills.

We got into counseling and worked through the problem of his selling drugs and the lying about it. Or so I thought. I let him come back home when I was sure that he was not selling anymore.

Well tonight he was in the shower and he got a text. I glanced over because at first I thought it was my phone. We have the same phone and the same text chime. He usually has his phone on vibrate and I never do

Anyway. I look and it is from the guy he used to sell to asking when he was going to meet him because he had some money to spend and needed some help. 

I picked up his phone and went throught it. He is selling again. There were texts from the same people he sold to before and some others I didn't recognise. All of them asking if he had anything left, or to meet him somewhere and that they had money.

When he got out of the shower, I confronted him. At least he didn't lie. He admitted he was selling. He wouldn't say for how long. His responce was "a little while" He said he was sorry and he would stop in a month or two.

Ok first of all I will NOT live with a drug dealer. 

Second, where is the money going? I pay all of the bills except the cell phone which is around $200 and the car insurance which is less than $100.

He makes over $1000 a month at his job. Who knows how much he is getting from the pills. 

I cannot and will not do this again. I am done. I have to get him out of my house.

I am laying here trying to figure out how to get him out tomorrow. I made him sleep on the couch tonight, so he knows I am pissed. 

This is a very small town and he went to school with half of the police department, plus I don't have proof. It is on his phone, which he has. So he has probably erased it by now.

Legally I can't just tell him to leave and make him go. I don't know how but somehow I have to get him out. 

I am filing for divorce as soon as possible. 

Any ideas how to get him out? 

Replies

  • Nolanzo
    by Nolanzo
    January 21, 2013 at 4:26 AM
    First of all: text messages are never completely gone. They are stored permanently in the phones data and can be retrieved via his cell carrier with a court order. Very common in criminal matters.

    Second: I'm going to 99% say that he IS selling to support a habit. If you are not seeing any extra $ coming in the house, he is spending it. Oxys are 20-25 each so he's making a good deal of cash on a whole script.

    Third: go to the police and give them his entire history, his phone, etc. they WILL investigate. Drug trafficking is serious shit... They take great delight in bringing dope slingers down, trust me when I tell you that they will be very interested in what you have to say.

    Fourth: it's only a matter of time before he gets pinched. Dealers who are using eventually become careless and slip up due to not being on point. He WILL get caught. You do NOT want him under your roof when this happens. You need to get him out immediately unless you want to be a prison wife. Ask the police what the best way to go about this. It's not a civil matter, it's criminal.

    Fifth: I'm so sorry you're going through this. I almost married an opiate addict and it was a living hell. The problem does not go away... It gets progressively worse until they can't function without it and he needs intensive rehab. Unfortunately he will have to dry out while incarcerated but he'll probably get high immediately when he gets out... The prison system is a revolving door. Please file for divorce immediately if you haven't already done so, and good luck to you and your children. I'm so sorry.

    PS: I'm glad you're being so progressive about this... Any man that would engage in drug trafficking while living in a house with children is a scumbag. The Feds could be watching youRIGHT now. He may have sold to a CI and he would never know it. If they bust your door down tomorrow with a warrant, you will lose your children. Get him out NOW.

    Please PM me if you need someone to talk to. I have been there, done this. Good luck to you mama and hugs.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:27 AM

    I don't know if a judge will grant a protective order or not. Usually there has to have been some violence or threat of violence. But you would think dealing drugs is a threat of violence.

    I can buy some new locks at the hardware store and have my friend's husband install them for me.  

    One way or another I am going to try to have his ass out tomorrow. 

    Quoting justme91755:

     

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I didn't even think about them being able to take the house.

    I did tell him that I would not lose my kids because of his stupidity. That is something his counselor talked about before was that if he got arrested, the kids could be put into foster care until it was investigated to see if I was involved or not.

    I am getting his ass out in the morning, no matter what I have to do. One posted suggested having him served with an eviction notice, so I'll try that. Also I may see if a judge will grant a protective order for dealing drugs. I mean that puts the kids in danger right?

    Quoting justme91755:

     If I were you , as soon as he leaves for work I would call and get the locks changed on the house, pack his stuff and leave it outside or at hai relatives or friend.  If he is dealing drugs out of your house the court can take your house from you  There is no proof that drug money was not used to pay for it and it is the proceed  of illegal activity.  Your children could be taken into custody and you could be arrested for  accessory even if you weren't involved if youknew and condoned it by allowing him to be in the home.  You need to tell hm exactly that and that you are not willing to sacrifice your children and their saftey for his stupidity of dealing.  Good luck but get him out of your home.  Is he on any kind of probation or a contract with the counseling that they can help you confront him?


     A restraining order is a good idea. Protect your kids and yourself.  you have no idea what low-lifes he is dealing to and what they may be capable of.  Change those locks. It will be a couple hundred dollars for new locks and installation but may be covered by your homeowners if you tell them you fear a break in because  of your husband ( not sure policies vary) but better safe than sorry.


  • jarkrt
    by jarkrt
    January 21, 2013 at 4:30 AM

    Google the narcotic squad for your state. Tell them what you told us in your post about how he is buddy buddy with the police force in your town. They may be able to point you in the right direction. My state has an anonymous hotline. 

  • alibrezzy154
    January 21, 2013 at 4:31 AM
    Honestly I don't get what the big deal is its not like he's some thug or druggie. Lol why don't you just talk to his doctor and tell him to stop writing him scripts because he is selling them and not even using them. They will put it on record and so they can give him different non narcotic forms of pain relief even if he tries going to a different doc or the er. They will know. I really don't see how this is a reason the leave him though. Have you asked him why he feels the need to sell the pills?
  • tapies2324
    January 21, 2013 at 4:31 AM
    The police probably buy from him. Dont trust them to help you. Sometimes a cop is just a thug with a badge.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    He is indeed an idiot. He thinks he is above the law tho. He thinks because he went to school with most of them that they wouldn't arrest him.

    Honeslty I wonder the same. Last time I did go to a cop and told them when he ws getting his script and who he sold to. Nothing happened.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    Your dh is an idiot. Not because he is dealing but that he is so sloppy. No good dealer leaves a texting trail like that...just sloppy. For that reason alone he deserves to get busted.



  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:36 AM

    Thanks :)

    I know that he is addicted to opiates. He has been violent in the past. He would take a  time released pill and crush and snort it and get really high and then he was violent and scary as hell.

    That's one reason this came as such a shock tonight. He has not been acting like he did before. I thought things were so much better.

    I had thought that he had asked his dr to lower his dosage, but I guess that was a lie. He did admit that he is still getting the same amount of pills. He takes, or is prescribed to tak, I should say, 3 of the instand release pills. I can't remember which are which, and one of the timed release pills a day.

    The last time this happened, I even suspected he might be on heroin because he was selling so many of his pills, yet was a raving mad man one minute, passing out and drooling on himself the next, and forgetting all kinds of stuff.

    But I have no idea where all his money goes???? 

    I would not be supprised if he hasn't sold t o a CI. Two of the people that had texted him have recently gotten out of prison. One of them I guess he didn't trust because he told her he no longer got pills. But the other one apparently he did sell to because in one text the guy said he had some more cash and wanted to know when they could meet

    I may take you up on the PM. I really am embarrased to talk to my friends about this because everyone begged me not to take him back and I feel like an idiot for trying again

    Quoting Nolanzo:

    First of all: text messages are never completely gone. They are stored permanently in the phones data and can be retrieved via his cell carrier with a court order. Very common in criminal matters.

    Second: I'm going to 99% say that he IS selling to support a habit. If you are not seeing any extra $ coming in the house, he is spending it. Oxys are 20-25 each so he's making a good deal of cash on a whole script.

    Third: go to the police and give them his entire history, his phone, etc. they WILL investigate. Drug trafficking is serious shit... They take great delight in bringing dope slingers down, trust me when I tell you that they will be very interested in what you have to say.

    Fourth: it's only a matter of time before he gets pinched. Dealers who are using eventually become careless and slip up due to not being on point. He WILL get caught. You do NOT want him under your roof when this happens. You need to get him out immediately unless you want to be a prison wife. Ask the police what the best way to go about this. It's not a civil matter, it's criminal.

    Fifth: I'm so sorry you're going through this. I almost married an opiate addict and it was a living hell. The problem does not go away... It gets progressively worse until they can't function without it and he needs intensive rehab. Unfortunately he will have to dry out while incarcerated but he'll probably get high immediately when he gets out... The prison system is a revolving door. Please file for divorce immediately if you haven't already done so, and good luck to you and your children. I'm so sorry.

    PS: I'm glad you're being so progressive about this... Any man that would engage in drug trafficking while living in a house with children is a scumbag. The Feds could be watching youRIGHT now. He may have sold to a CI and he would never know it. If they bust your door down tomorrow with a warrant, you will lose your children. Get him out NOW.

    Please PM me if you need someone to talk to. I have been there, done this. Good luck to you mama and hugs.


  • jarkrt
    by jarkrt
    January 21, 2013 at 4:36 AM


    On second thought, you may not want to be anonymous if that is an option. You want to make sure to make it clear you are cooperating proactively from the start, so I would tell them who you are. 

    Quoting jarkrt:

    Google the narcotic squad for your state. Tell them what you told us in your post about how he is buddy buddy with the police force in your town. They may be able to point you in the right direction. My state has an anonymous hotline. 



  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:38 AM

    That is a good idea, thanks. This is a small town and a small county. One of those places where families go back for generations knowing each other. He is from here, I am not.

    Quoting jarkrt:

    Google the narcotic squad for your state. Tell them what you told us in your post about how he is buddy buddy with the police force in your town. They may be able to point you in the right direction. My state has an anonymous hotline. 


  • Nolanzo
    by Nolanzo
    January 21, 2013 at 4:39 AM
    The big deal is that selling prescription narcotics is punishable by hefty prison time and if they bust in her house with a warrant, she will lose her children while they investigate.

    Smh... How can you NOT see the severity of this situation? This nothing to mess around with.

    Obviously you've never dealt with a strung-out addict trying to break in your house at 3 am because they know you have their stuff... Her children are in DANGER.

    I had a group of thugs stand at every window of my apartment so i could not jump out and bust my deadbolted door in one night and invade my home because my ex owed them money.... They don't play around. This is the reality of what could happen to her and her kids.


    Quoting alibrezzy154:

    Honestly I don't get what the big deal is its not like he's some thug or druggie. Lol why don't you just talk to his doctor and tell him to stop writing him scripts because he is selling them and not even using them. They will put it on record and so they can give him different non narcotic forms of pain relief even if he tries going to a different doc or the er. They will know. I really don't see how this is a reason the leave him though. Have you asked him why he feels the need to sell the pills?

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:42 AM

    The big deal is that he may have already killed someone. There are lots of cases of teens overdosing on these meds. If he doesn't care that he might sell something that kills someone, then I don't want to be around him,

    Second, the last time this happened, he took something else to numb his pain and he was violent and dangerous and tho it hasn't gotten to that point yet, I WILL NOT put my kids through that again.

    And as has been pointed out to me by others in this post, if he is busted, there is a possibility that I could lose my home, my kids and even go to prison if they think I knew about it or helped him do it. NO man is worth that.

    Quoting alibrezzy154:

    Honestly I don't get what the big deal is its not like he's some thug or druggie. Lol why don't you just talk to his doctor and tell him to stop writing him scripts because he is selling them and not even using them. They will put it on record and so they can give him different non narcotic forms of pain relief even if he tries going to a different doc or the er. They will know. I really don't see how this is a reason the leave him though. Have you asked him why he feels the need to sell the pills?


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