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Anonymous
I just found out my husband is dealing drugs
by Anonymous
January 21, 2013 at 3:37 AM

My husband and I separated last summer because I found out he selling all of his prescription pain killers. He is on oxycotin and oxycodone. We were separated for 3 months and he promised to stop selling his pills.

We got into counseling and worked through the problem of his selling drugs and the lying about it. Or so I thought. I let him come back home when I was sure that he was not selling anymore.

Well tonight he was in the shower and he got a text. I glanced over because at first I thought it was my phone. We have the same phone and the same text chime. He usually has his phone on vibrate and I never do

Anyway. I look and it is from the guy he used to sell to asking when he was going to meet him because he had some money to spend and needed some help. 

I picked up his phone and went throught it. He is selling again. There were texts from the same people he sold to before and some others I didn't recognise. All of them asking if he had anything left, or to meet him somewhere and that they had money.

When he got out of the shower, I confronted him. At least he didn't lie. He admitted he was selling. He wouldn't say for how long. His responce was "a little while" He said he was sorry and he would stop in a month or two.

Ok first of all I will NOT live with a drug dealer. 

Second, where is the money going? I pay all of the bills except the cell phone which is around $200 and the car insurance which is less than $100.

He makes over $1000 a month at his job. Who knows how much he is getting from the pills. 

I cannot and will not do this again. I am done. I have to get him out of my house.

I am laying here trying to figure out how to get him out tomorrow. I made him sleep on the couch tonight, so he knows I am pissed. 

This is a very small town and he went to school with half of the police department, plus I don't have proof. It is on his phone, which he has. So he has probably erased it by now.

Legally I can't just tell him to leave and make him go. I don't know how but somehow I have to get him out. 

I am filing for divorce as soon as possible. 

Any ideas how to get him out? 

Replies

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:08 AM

    It's worth checking on. I don't want to post my state because I post in this group alot and I have posted my state quite a few times. I am embarassed that I fell for this again, and I have two real life friends on CM and I am not ready for anyone in my real world to know about this.

    Again, I am feeling stupid. my friends begged me not to take him back. I will tell them when he is out and I have processed it.

    Thanks again for the idea. I hope it is the same here.

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    That's how it is in VA. I'm not sure what state you're in so I don't know if you'll be able to do it there. Good luck mama!

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Thanks. I will ask him to leave and if he dosen't then I will go tothe courthouse tomorrow and see if I can do this. I had no idea you could evict someone when they were on the mortgage too

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    Whoever gets there first gets it. Her ex's name was on the lease along with hers and they granted it to her. He moved out right away to avoid the risk of being arrested. She didn't give them any reason except that she wanted him out. It also only cost her $12

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I can get an eviction notice even tho he is on the mortgage too? 

    Could he not just go get one on me as well, or is it the first one there gets the eviction?

    Do I need a reason when I go to the courthouse?  

    I could definitely do that in the morning as soon as I can get my sister to come get the kids

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    I actually have a friend who was trying to get her ex out and couldn't for the same reason. We talked to my next door neighbor who's a cop and deals with this kind of stuff all the time. You can go to the courthouse and get an eviction notice. If he refuses to leave after you give him the eviction notice, he can actually get arrested for trespassing.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    He is on the mortgage too. Legally it is as much his house as it is mine. The police will say it is a civil matter.

    If I had some proof, I could maybe have him arrested, but the proof is on his phone.

    If he was violent, I could get a protective order, but he isn't. 

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    Why can't you make him leave?








  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 21, 2013 at 4:09 AM

    I would document everything. from now on if possible, carry a recorder around and track your convos. Write everything in a journal. Take pictures. I know in the best interest of living arrangements he should leave, but like most men they are hard headed. i would take any money you can put it away in a separate account and get you and your kids out of there and file for divorce. don't toy around with your husband. if he gets caught in your home or somewhere with the kids you could lose them. by you leaving you don't run the risk of having your kids around that and have the courts say you are a bad parent because of your husband's stupidity

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:12 AM

    I didn't even think about them being able to take the house.

    I did tell him that I would not lose my kids because of his stupidity. That is something his counselor talked about before was that if he got arrested, the kids could be put into foster care until it was investigated to see if I was involved or not.

    I am getting his ass out in the morning, no matter what I have to do. One posted suggested having him served with an eviction notice, so I'll try that. Also I may see if a judge will grant a protective order for dealing drugs. I mean that puts the kids in danger right?

    Quoting justme91755:

     If I were you , as soon as he leaves for work I would call and get the locks changed on the house, pack his stuff and leave it outside or at hai relatives or friend.  If he is dealing drugs out of your house the court can take your house from you  There is no proof that drug money was not used to pay for it and it is the proceed  of illegal activity.  Your children could be taken into custody and you could be arrested for  accessory even if you weren't involved if youknew and condoned it by allowing him to be in the home.  You need to tell hm exactly that and that you are not willing to sacrifice your children and their saftey for his stupidity of dealing.  Good luck but get him out of your home.  Is he on any kind of probation or a contract with the counseling that they can help you confront him?


  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:14 AM

    That won't work for me. We are buying this house and I have never been late on a house payment. Also the cell phones are in his name only. He can have his phone, I will go buy a prepaid.

    He is going to have to go. I refuse to make my kids leave their home and school because he wants to be a drug dealer. HE can get out. I amsure he has a lot of friends to stay with and lots of money since he is always selling pills. But for all I care he can sleep in his truck

    Quoting LoganTroyMom:

    stop paying bills (except your phone maybe). tell him since he has so much income its now his responsibility.


  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 21, 2013 at 4:16 AM
    Your dh is an idiot. Not because he is dealing but that he is so sloppy. No good dealer leaves a texting trail like that...just sloppy. For that reason alone he deserves to get busted.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:18 AM

    I already have a seperate bank account. I did that last time. I honestly don't want him around long enough to document anything. I don't want to take my kids from their home and school.

    Another posted suggested trying to get an eviction notice. I can try that and if they don't do that in my state, I will ask if I can get a protection order to get him out. Hopefully a judge will consider selling drugs as a danger and put him out.

    If all else fails, I do have some money he doesn't know about in my bank account and I do have friends we could stay with, but dammit I do not want to have to go. He is the one screwing up HE should go

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I would document everything. from now on if possible, carry a recorder around and track your convos. Write everything in a journal. Take pictures. I know in the best interest of living arrangements he should leave, but like most men they are hard headed. i would take any money you can put it away in a separate account and get you and your kids out of there and file for divorce. don't toy around with your husband. if he gets caught in your home or somewhere with the kids you could lose them. by you leaving you don't run the risk of having your kids around that and have the courts say you are a bad parent because of your husband's stupidity


  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:20 AM

    He is indeed an idiot. He thinks he is above the law tho. He thinks because he went to school with most of them that they wouldn't arrest him.

    Honeslty I wonder the same. Last time I did go to a cop and told them when he ws getting his script and who he sold to. Nothing happened.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    Your dh is an idiot. Not because he is dealing but that he is so sloppy. No good dealer leaves a texting trail like that...just sloppy. For that reason alone he deserves to get busted.


  • unusualmom
    January 21, 2013 at 4:20 AM

    You should screenshot his cell with yours. But he prob deleted the messages by now

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 4:22 AM

    He is asleep on the couch. I am thinking about going in there in a bit and seeing if the messeges are still there and doing a screenshot. I am afraid if he wakes up all hell will break loose and the kids will wake up.

    Ive gotten a few good ideas on this thread, but having the proof would help in the divorce too.

    IF I can build up my courage, Ill try it

    Quoting unusualmom:

    You should screenshot his cell with yours. But he prob deleted the messages by now


  • justme91755
    January 21, 2013 at 4:24 AM

     

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I didn't even think about them being able to take the house.

    I did tell him that I would not lose my kids because of his stupidity. That is something his counselor talked about before was that if he got arrested, the kids could be put into foster care until it was investigated to see if I was involved or not.

    I am getting his ass out in the morning, no matter what I have to do. One posted suggested having him served with an eviction notice, so I'll try that. Also I may see if a judge will grant a protective order for dealing drugs. I mean that puts the kids in danger right?

    Quoting justme91755:

     If I were you , as soon as he leaves for work I would call and get the locks changed on the house, pack his stuff and leave it outside or at hai relatives or friend.  If he is dealing drugs out of your house the court can take your house from you  There is no proof that drug money was not used to pay for it and it is the proceed  of illegal activity.  Your children could be taken into custody and you could be arrested for  accessory even if you weren't involved if youknew and condoned it by allowing him to be in the home.  You need to tell hm exactly that and that you are not willing to sacrifice your children and their saftey for his stupidity of dealing.  Good luck but get him out of your home.  Is he on any kind of probation or a contract with the counseling that they can help you confront him?

     

     A restraining order is a good idea. Protect your kids and yourself.  you have no idea what low-lifes he is dealing to and what they may be capable of.  Change those locks. It will be a couple hundred dollars for new locks and installation but may be covered by your homeowners if you tell them you fear a break in because  of your husband ( not sure policies vary) but better safe than sorry.

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