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Anonymous
I just found out my husband is dealing drugs
by Anonymous
January 21, 2013 at 3:37 AM

My husband and I separated last summer because I found out he selling all of his prescription pain killers. He is on oxycotin and oxycodone. We were separated for 3 months and he promised to stop selling his pills.

We got into counseling and worked through the problem of his selling drugs and the lying about it. Or so I thought. I let him come back home when I was sure that he was not selling anymore.

Well tonight he was in the shower and he got a text. I glanced over because at first I thought it was my phone. We have the same phone and the same text chime. He usually has his phone on vibrate and I never do

Anyway. I look and it is from the guy he used to sell to asking when he was going to meet him because he had some money to spend and needed some help. 

I picked up his phone and went throught it. He is selling again. There were texts from the same people he sold to before and some others I didn't recognise. All of them asking if he had anything left, or to meet him somewhere and that they had money.

When he got out of the shower, I confronted him. At least he didn't lie. He admitted he was selling. He wouldn't say for how long. His responce was "a little while" He said he was sorry and he would stop in a month or two.

Ok first of all I will NOT live with a drug dealer. 

Second, where is the money going? I pay all of the bills except the cell phone which is around $200 and the car insurance which is less than $100.

He makes over $1000 a month at his job. Who knows how much he is getting from the pills. 

I cannot and will not do this again. I am done. I have to get him out of my house.

I am laying here trying to figure out how to get him out tomorrow. I made him sleep on the couch tonight, so he knows I am pissed. 

This is a very small town and he went to school with half of the police department, plus I don't have proof. It is on his phone, which he has. So he has probably erased it by now.

Legally I can't just tell him to leave and make him go. I don't know how but somehow I have to get him out. 

I am filing for divorce as soon as possible. 

Any ideas how to get him out? 

Replies

  • cjsix
    by cjsix
    January 21, 2013 at 3:48 AM

     Can you get his phone and check to see if he erased the info? Give it to the police whether he di or not,they may have a way to recover the info even if he has erased it...yes,they will arrest him and he will be ticked but,he will also be forced to get the help he needs. Hugs Momma!

  • nataliesmom2012
    January 21, 2013 at 3:49 AM

    I actually have a friend who was trying to get her ex out and couldn't for the same reason. We talked to my next door neighbor who's a cop and deals with this kind of stuff all the time. You can go to the courthouse and get an eviction notice. If he refuses to leave after you give him the eviction notice, he can actually get arrested for trespassing.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    He is on the mortgage too. Legally it is as much his house as it is mine. The police will say it is a civil matter.

    If I had some proof, I could maybe have him arrested, but the proof is on his phone.

    If he was violent, I could get a protective order, but he isn't. 

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    Why can't you make him leave?



  • Sj218
    by Sj218
    January 21, 2013 at 3:50 AM
    If he won't leave, then you have to. This would be a deal breaker for me too. If he were to get caught, the legal consequences could devastate your family. Is he abusing drugs as well? It's odd to me that someone would sell if they aren't also using. I know you said it's his prescription. Not a good place to be, but you'll figure it out.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 3:50 AM

    He is asleep on the couch right now. I have thought about getting his phone and if there is anything left on it taking a screenshot and sending it to myself.

    I don't know what he will do if he catches me tho. We have 4 small kids and they went through so much the last time we split, that I don't want them to see a fight. It will be hard enough explaining to them that daddy is gone again and this time for good.


    Quoting cjsix:

     Can you get his phone and check to see if he erased the info? Give it to the police whether he di or not,they may have a way to recover the info even if he has erased it...yes,they will arrest him and he will be ticked but,he will also be forced to get the help he needs. Hugs Momma!


  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    January 21, 2013 at 3:51 AM
    But do you think he will refuse? He should be taking the walk of shame, I'm sure this is not a huge surprise for him. Have you told him before this is what would happen if he started again?

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Yes he knows, but legally with the house in both names, I cannot make him. He can refuse.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Just tell him to gtfo. He knows why.


  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 3:52 AM

    I can get an eviction notice even tho he is on the mortgage too? 

    Could he not just go get one on me as well, or is it the first one there gets the eviction?

    Do I need a reason when I go to the courthouse?  

    I could definitely do that in the morning as soon as I can get my sister to come get the kids

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    I actually have a friend who was trying to get her ex out and couldn't for the same reason. We talked to my next door neighbor who's a cop and deals with this kind of stuff all the time. You can go to the courthouse and get an eviction notice. If he refuses to leave after you give him the eviction notice, he can actually get arrested for trespassing.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    He is on the mortgage too. Legally it is as much his house as it is mine. The police will say it is a civil matter.

    If I had some proof, I could maybe have him arrested, but the proof is on his phone.

    If he was violent, I could get a protective order, but he isn't. 

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    Why can't you make him leave?




  • 1L2CMommy
    January 21, 2013 at 3:54 AM
    This is the third season of Breaking Bad. I just watched it on Netflix.
  • nataliesmom2012
    January 21, 2013 at 3:54 AM

    Whoever gets there first gets it. Her ex's name was on the lease along with hers and they granted it to her. He moved out right away to avoid the risk of being arrested. She didn't give them any reason except that she wanted him out. It also only cost her $12

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I can get an eviction notice even tho he is on the mortgage too? 

    Could he not just go get one on me as well, or is it the first one there gets the eviction?

    Do I need a reason when I go to the courthouse?  

    I could definitely do that in the morning as soon as I can get my sister to come get the kids

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    I actually have a friend who was trying to get her ex out and couldn't for the same reason. We talked to my next door neighbor who's a cop and deals with this kind of stuff all the time. You can go to the courthouse and get an eviction notice. If he refuses to leave after you give him the eviction notice, he can actually get arrested for trespassing.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    He is on the mortgage too. Legally it is as much his house as it is mine. The police will say it is a civil matter.

    If I had some proof, I could maybe have him arrested, but the proof is on his phone.

    If he was violent, I could get a protective order, but he isn't. 

    Quoting nataliesmom2012:

    Why can't you make him leave?





  • cjsix
    by cjsix
    January 21, 2013 at 3:55 AM

     Can you call an officer right now and give them his phone ...I don't know for sure but,seems like they may have ways to find what is erased if they need to.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    He is asleep on the couch right now. I have thought about getting his phone and if there is anything left on it taking a screenshot and sending it to myself.

    I don't know what he will do if he catches me tho. We have 4 small kids and they went through so much the last time we split, that I don't want them to see a fight. It will be hard enough explaining to them that daddy is gone again and this time for good.


    Quoting cjsix:

     Can you get his phone and check to see if he erased the info? Give it to the police whether he di or not,they may have a way to recover the info even if he has erased it...yes,they will arrest him and he will be ticked but,he will also be forced to get the help he needs. Hugs Momma!

     

     

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    January 21, 2013 at 3:55 AM

    I don't know if he is also using. Last time he was smoking pot and I have always suspected he was on something harder than pot because he was violent and had mood swings. He would also pass out at the drop of a hat, even at the dinner table and he would do things and not remember doing them.

    He once went to a doctor's appointment and forgot he went. He called to reschedule and they told him he had been in the day before. That was not the pain doctor, so it wasn't like he was trying to get more pills. I think it was for some bloodwork or something

    Quoting Sj218:

    If he won't leave, then you have to. This would be a deal breaker for me too. If he were to get caught, the legal consequences could devastate your family. Is he abusing drugs as well? It's odd to me that someone would sell if they aren't also using. I know you said it's his prescription. Not a good place to be, but you'll figure it out.


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