When ds was born, my husband and I came to the decision that I would wake up with him on week nights (since we had decided I would stay at home with him) and he would take the weekend shift. He hasn't gotten up with him once during the night in the 5 weeks of ds' life. The only time he gets up with him is when he wakes up in the am, and after he fees him and changes him he brings him back to me instead of letting me sleep in like he says he is. It seems like even during the day it's like twisting his arm to get him to feed him or change his diaper. How can I get my husband to stick to his guns and actually help out??
not sure where you live, but if i had the chance, i'd just leave baby home with him and take a blanket and go sleep at a park or something (weather permitting lol... and the area being safe)
until then, until something changes, try to get as much sleep as possible- sleep when the baby sleeps (fuck the husband if he wants you to go to bed with him, at the same time... or wants some adult fun while baby is sleeping.... if he wants that so bad, he can help out with the night time stuff).
i feel for you, i really do. granted, i was a single mom- no help at all... but honestly, i think i'd be MORE frustrated if i had somebody there, who helped make this kid, who promised that he'd help out-- and see him not sticking to his word. i honestly dont know how some moms can handle that. at least for me, i knew i couldnt depend on anyone else- no broken promises right there (i mean, i tried to make DS promise that he WOULDNT wake up in the middle of the night a few times... he never listened- or at least agreed to it. lol)
Huh, Hubby never did any of that but maybe change diaps for me if I needed. Baby was my job, out older children were his. Its been that way for all 3.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
January 20, 2013 at 3:12 AM
I have tried talking to him on several occasions.. I always get the "I'm sorry i'll try harder" bit and then we're back where we started. I don't wanna nag him about it because if he doesn't wanna help out and spend time with him then that's his loss.. It's just frustrating that he gives me all these empty promises.
Try maybe seeing if he can just commit to every Saturday night. On Saturday go sleep in a different area of the house leave either the baby, or baby monitor next to him. During the weekend days - ask nicely. You don't have to nag you'll get frustrated, and he probably won't respond positively either. Just say hey can you pick up baby for a bit, or do you mind getting the diaper this time? If it becomes more routine for him he'll probably get the hang of it. Men aren't always as quick to jump into the baby game as us moms are. Gl.