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She cries over EVERYTHING!!!
by Sagely
January 19, 2013 at 9:23 AM

Dd is driving me nuts.  She'll be 5 in two weeks.  Somewhere along the way, we raised a difficult child.

She doesn't demand toys at the store, and she's great about sharing and taking turns, but she does demand things be done *her* way.  I don't understand the sense of entitlement though, because unless it's made clear from the get-go that her choices mean a damn, she never gets a say!  This child does not pick where we go, what we eat, etc, so it's not like we've given her the idea that she gets to make any real decisions about our household.  Not to say she never gets to decide anything, but it's more like, if we're going to watch a movie, she gets to pick which one (and usually out of a selection).  

If we tell her to hurry up because she's late for school or dance class, she yells back to "stop talking to her" and then starts wailing.  Loud, siren-like wails.  Same thing if we tell her to try to go potty.  Or to do anything.  It takes everything to stop myself from "giving her a reason to cry."

What do I do?  Ignoring it only turns the sirens into blood-curdling screams.  Spanking turns the sirens into screams.  I lose the yelling matches (she's louder than me). Tossing her out the window would probably alert the neighbors.  

We try reasoning with her after she's calmed down and explaining that while she can cry all she pleases, she may not do so at such a high volume.  She agrees, but then it happens again.

Punishing her by taking toys away doesn't impact her.  At that split second, she's really pissed off, but 5 seconds later, the toy doesn't matter.  Toss it, for all she cares....she's got an imagination to entertain herself with.

I am pregnant and very worried about this continuing after baby arrives.  And as much as I'd like to blame the realization that there's an impending sibling on this behavior, it's been going on long before the newest bun hopped in the oven.  Wits end here.  Please help.


  • lifeisajoy
    January 19, 2013 at 9:27 AM

    hugs mama-have you talked to her pediatrician about this?

  • MistyMoo
    January 19, 2013 at 9:29 AM
    Yikes! I was like that as a kid. I eventually grew ou of it, thank goodness.. I don't know what to tell you, but good luck.
  • angevil53
    January 19, 2013 at 9:32 AM
    It's normal at that age. My son was the same way. He's getting much better though. He's now 6yo.
  • Sagely
    by Sagely
    January 19, 2013 at 9:33 AM

    We don't go unless she's sick beyond my abilities to manage, and thank God, she's never sick beyond a simple runny nose.  

    But, of course, she does have her annual well-visit coming up in the next couple weeks, so I'll bring it up then if I'm able to go (depends if I can get the day off, dh may end up taking her).

    Quoting lifeisajoy:

    hugs mama-have you talked to her pediatrician about this?

  • PinkParadox
    January 19, 2013 at 9:34 AM
    She's developing her own personality, and wants to feel some control over herself. Find ways to give her more choices. Even if it's between two or three things. Sit and let her help develop her own morning routine. She cries because she feels frustrated, but can't quite explain why. Then you feel frustrated and it just escalates. Also, when she explains, try to let her know you're listening, and repeat it back to her in your she knows she's being heard.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    January 19, 2013 at 9:35 AM
    Make her stay in her room until she calls herself down. Close the door and ignore it. She will soon get that you won't let her do that.
  • momof2grls629
    January 19, 2013 at 9:36 AM
    When she is screaming and throwing a fit put her in her room and shut the door and tell her she has to stay there until she stops. I have a 9 and 6 yr old and threatening to spank them worked when they were younger but now all I have to say is if you don't quit your grounded and they shape up pretty quick. Good luck.
  • Sagely
    by Sagely
    January 19, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    I just wish she were that whimpering kid in the corner.  Ya know, the quiet one that makes the puppy dog face.

    But she's not.  She's an angry beast.  LoL

    Do you remember anything your parents did that worked?  Or anything we definitely shouldn't try?

    Quoting MistyMoo:

    Yikes! I was like that as a kid. I eventually grew ou of it, thank goodness.. I don't know what to tell you, but good luck.

  • dudestfd
    January 19, 2013 at 9:36 AM

    Give her the reason to cry and tell her to be quite, my 21 month old is the same way. I tell her to be quiet and if she doesn't I pop her, give her 10 seconds of crying for a reason, and then tell her to dry it up. The last thing you need is for her to freak out the baby with the unnecessary screams and squeals when it gets there. It will always be in edge and everyone knows how well babies sleep with something screaming or freaking out around it. 

  • StrawberryCool
    January 19, 2013 at 9:37 AM
    Oh I didnt read all of it.

    But I think its the age.

    Addison will be five Feb 12 and im at my wits end where I cant stand to be around her anymore because all she does is cry whine or become highly annoying

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