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Are you a pageant or dance mom?
by Anonymous
January 18, 2013 at 8:04 PM
Do you put your kids in beauty pageants or competitive dance? Why? Do your kids like it?

My mom forced me into both and I hate her for it. She would dress me up in costumes and take me to restaurants and force me to dance in between the tables. I couldn't even have fun in dance because she was also causing problems...telling the teachers all the time that they needed to give me bigger parts and telling the kids that I was better than them. No one wanted to be my friend.

I know if there are moms who put their kids in these programs they will say that they don't force them and their kids just looooove it. But how do you think your kids will really remember it?


  • melakay1981
    January 18, 2013 at 9:18 PM

    I am assuming you are talking about Nia's mom.  I feel so bad for those girls, if it is not scripted they look so unhappy.  How could any mother in their right mind sit there and allow someone call call their kids stupid and lazy.  I have a love hate relationship with that show.  I only live about an hour and a half away from Pittsburgh, my daughter gets her treatments at Children's hospital, I always wanted to drive past the dance studio and see if these crazy women where there lol

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Quoting melakay1981:

    I am starting to think that show is scripted

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I cheered my whole life. I never felt pressured. I plan on having my daughter do it too. Btw, I live right down the road from where dance moms is filmed...those women truly are CRAZY lol, I would never send my daughter there. We actually have studios that are more reputable in the area, I have no idea how they chose that one!

    Oh yea! And the women who are on it don't mind one bit. They walk around with the biggest diva attitudes ever! One mom actually had to choose between her career and the show-she chose the show! You know, because it will be around forever and stuff lol

  • AVSpecWife4
    January 18, 2013 at 9:20 PM
    I'm putting my dd in dance when she gets older. Only because she absolutely loves dancing! Not going to be one of those obsessed moms tho.
  • Boomboompow12
    January 18, 2013 at 10:18 PM

    Dance Mom here.  My dd is 17 and has been dancing since 4 yo, competing since 5. She originally wanted to do pom, but couldn't at her age, so did other dances. Never took pom but everything else.  She really loves it.

    I thought dance would be an good place to go that would keep her from getting into trouble when she got older with her friends (limits her time with them) and would be a good outlet to stay healthy.  She has a 21 yo cousin who just sat around and did nothing but play video games and eat.  He's very smart, but didn't turn in a shred of homework at school.  He is now over weight, lazy, has no motivation, no goals, no job, etc., etc.  I didnt want that for her.  She's has had either straight A's or A/B grades all thru school.  She was Freshman VP, she's a National Honor Society member, she is President of the NHS club, shes Junior Class Treasurer and the list goes on.  They say dance helps with all this and I believe it.  She never gets into trouble, checks in w/me, tells me where she is going with friends, etc.  She doesn't want to own her own dance studio, but I think she's ok w/teacher dance (she does it now). I dont think she wants to go to college for dance, but she doesn't know what she wants to do yet.

    Dance Moms and other dance shows make competitions look like its a really big deal, but they are not. Its just kids dancing all day long all weekend in solos, duets, trios, and groups.  They get a trophy based on scores for their dances. It could be Silver, Gold and Platinum.  Then they do an overall for each age group. First and 2nd places usually get cash prizes, but it isnt much.  It can be a fun experience for the kids. Basically, after everything is said and done and maybe a "great job" by the dance teacher during dance class the following week.  Then its just back to business.  Its really not that big of a deal.  Competitions are there so the student can get critiqued on their dance so they can improve on it.  That's it, nothing more.  Not even worth (and they say dont) putting on a dance resume. Its not like winning Miss America and not like the children's pageants (although I suspect children's pageants are the same).  They make it look like its a big deal and its not.

  • mom2coco_noah
    January 18, 2013 at 10:34 PM

    I'm a pageant and dance mom. However, I don't make my daughter do pageants. If ones comes along, I ask "Hey, do you wanna do it?". She says "yes" or "no" and thats that. If she says "yes mom, I want to do it" then yes she practices and puts in the work to learn her routines and if she says "No", then she doesn't have to. In fact, she told me back in October at a pageant that I judged and that she crowned at that she didn't like the way the moms treated me as a judge and she wanted to take a break from the glitz side, so we agreed that we would sell all the glitz stuff and when the times comes, if it ever does, and she wants to do it again, we'll start over. 

    As far as dance, she loves it but she wanted a break from that while we moved and she is ready to start it back up now that we are settled in to our new home. 

    She also plays soccer, has done competitive cheer, and makes straight A's. She is a 2nd grader and reads on a 4th grade reading level. She likes to try a little bit of everything and figure out if she likes it or not. 

  • Ultra_
    by Ultra_
    January 18, 2013 at 10:39 PM

    I used to be...sort of. My girls were in pageants. They were natural ones though. I'd just do some curls or something similar and didn't use hair products. They had fancy dresses, but not like those ones on tv. Like formal flowergirl type dresses. They had no makeup, just some clear gloss. I stopped when my son was born. Jeeez, he would have won so much too.

  • mommy053008
    January 18, 2013 at 10:52 PM

    I am neither. 

    My DD 1 played soccer for a season decided she didn;t like it...she hasn't played but recently asked to try again i told her to wait til spring session to really see if she wanted to play. 

    she did dance for a little while and she wasn't into it anymore. so we pulled her. if she ever asks to take again we might consider, but she just didn;t seem too into it so we don't have her in it right now.

    she does do gymnastics though and she is AWESOME! she is 4.5 and has been in the studio since she was 2 she has never complained she is really talented at it! 

    She asked to do cheering but I think we will wait til she;s able to try out in middle school. She could do it for a team but I don't want to commit to traveling for the games and what not. 

    I would never force my kids to do something they don;t want I was really hoping dance would work out for her because i used to dance, but she doesn;t like it so she doesn;t have to participate. i still have a younger dd who might be interested when the time comes. we will see. 

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