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Anonymous
Hey BMs
by Anonymous
January 17, 2013 at 11:54 AM
Just an fyi, you bitches can't have it both fucking ways!





You can't say a sm has to love her stepchildren, treat them as their own and care for them, then say they have no right to opinions or input. Bottom line is your kids lives often affect the stepmothers life as well. Stepmoms have a right to "call the shots" in what affects their lives. They have a right to say what goes on in their homes. Don't like it? Too damn bad.

Replies

  • WifeyC
    by WifeyC
    January 17, 2013 at 1:07 PM



    Quoting Anonymous:


    Quoting WifeyC:


    Marrying a man with children doesn't make you a mother.

    Quoting Anonymous:

     i'm not trying to be rude, it's just a question, if you have no desire to be their mother or wanted more kids why would anyone marry a man who did?

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I have zero desire to be their mother. I have my own children tyvm. If I wanted to be mommy to more, I would have more. But I don't.

    So if I'm nothing I suppose its safe to say you'd prefer your kids be excluded, not cared for, ignored, and not dealt with. Right?

    Wow, just wow.

    What is so "wow" about my reply?


  • SnapIt
    by SnapIt
    January 17, 2013 at 1:07 PM

    You also have to understand the reason why some SMs come off the way they do.

    Sometimes its the BM who got on the defense first. Being these are her kids she will do anything to protect them, right? So if she comes off combative from the start, she thinks she will gain respect this way and protect her kids. Who wants to give respect to someone who didnt give them a chance/respect from the start? A lot of times the riff between exs is still going and the BM will then take it out on the new woman in ex hubs life. If that woman becomes the exs spouse, BM will continue her wrath. Not healthy thats for sure. Not for ex, not for new person, not for the kids and not for BM. 

    If BM went on the defense first, it could be why SM is also on the defense. Someone started the friction first and since kids are involved, usually its the BM who did first. And sometimes its the other way and its BD starting it with BM new man. Either way the new person is placed in the middle. BM wont fess up to it because they dont want to be view as the bad guy and they are on the inside looking out.

    Quoting mary841108:

     well as i've said, thankfully i dont see a divorce happening anytime soon. i'm sure if the SM didnt have the attitude that OP did there wouldnt be an issue. but just the way OP came across in her post, if that was what my husband married oh there would be BIG time issues.

    Quoting SnapIt:

    Its so crystal how you would be as a ex

    youre so transparent at the moment. You would not only make your ex hubs life and childrens lives miserable, you would make your own life miserable as well. If momma aint happy, no one will be happy

    Veeeery mature..... and a waste of time. 

    Youre bitter of your past and you carried it til now. Someone didnt teach you how to be happy, didnt show you that their issue werent yours to be burdened with even though mommy and daddy were no longer together. You sat on the bitter bus ride with one of your parents. 

    If exs would just let go.... things could run much smoother in a lot of households.

    Letting go doesnt mean  giving up your kids, it means make your own life happy, so your kids won't grow up bitter and feeling unloved or dominated by a SP.

    Quoting mary841108:

     well if the SM acted like you that wouldnt be an issue because they would never be around you so it is a moot point. like i said my husband and i are still happily married, he knows how i feel about the whole step parent issue and i dont see it ever being an issue

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I have zero desire to be their mother. I have my own children tyvm. If I wanted to be mommy to more, I would have more. But I don't.

    So if I'm nothing I suppose its safe to say you'd prefer your kids be excluded, not cared for, ignored, and not dealt with. Right?

    Quoting mary841108:

    you are nothing to those children than the other woman that married their dad that is it. your say and opinions are very limited. You do not have custody of those children, you didnt give birth to them. if you want to play mommy and make decisions then have your own kids and leave your husbands children alone. thank god my husband and I are still married because there would be some major issues. get over yourself you are not those childrens mother


    Quoting Anonymous:

    And you'd be in jail. Must suck to be so self defeating b


    Quoting mary841108:


     well thankfully my kids dont have a step mother because if she acted like you bitch would be getting knocked the fuck out.


     

     


     


  • autodidact
    January 17, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    the word you're looking for is MOTHERS

  • mommy74146
    January 17, 2013 at 1:09 PM

    dont marry a man that already has kids... that solves the problem.

  • SnapIt
    by SnapIt
    January 17, 2013 at 1:11 PM

    not if their mother is around and both exs are splitting the time

    One can be a mother figure though and some SMs are better at it than the actual mothers

    Quoting WifeyC:


    Marrying a man with children doesn't make you a mother.

    Quoting Anonymous:

     i'm not trying to be rude, it's just a question, if you have no desire to be their mother or wanted more kids why would anyone marry a man who did?

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I have zero desire to be their mother. I have my own children tyvm. If I wanted to be mommy to more, I would have more. But I don't.

    So if I'm nothing I suppose its safe to say you'd prefer your kids be excluded, not cared for, ignored, and not dealt with. Right?


  • helema24
    January 17, 2013 at 1:11 PM

     #861 Grumpy Cat 1

  • babymama2009883
    January 17, 2013 at 1:14 PM
    I am a BM and SM. My husband and I decide what happens in our home and BM has no say and vice versa. DH and I have kids also but they all are treated equally same rules and punishments. Same goes at BM house none of us care to know what happens at the others house unless it has to do with SD health or schooling.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 17, 2013 at 1:14 PM

    And thats how it should be! Its whats best for the kids not what BM or SM what because they are jealous of eachother


    Quoting Anonymous:


    Quoting Anonymous:

    idk my sd has my dh her bm a stepdad and me her sm and we make sure we are all consistant with her and that means everyone is in charge! We make the rules together and everyone follows through and we have great communication between all of us

    we do the same thing. except are rules are a little different because BM has older kids at her house when SD is there and my DS is the same age as SD but not as smart, but we keep each other in the loop.



  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 17, 2013 at 1:15 PM

     My brother's has 2 children to a past realtionship. He has primary costudy during school year he has them and she has visitations. she gets summer. His live in GF gets her ass in a knott when she (gf) is not invited to the parent/teacher meetings for the kids, she get's real pissy with everyone! She started to force her way (GF) in to the meetings... my brother's ex asked for her to wait in the hall while the talked to the teacher, GF got heated ... brother's EX told her it is a PARENT /TEACHER meeting your just a live in.  My brother's EX handed a papper to my brother and the school that states she (gf) is not alowed to attend the meetings. GF called me cry'n about how my brother sided with EX.. and how she does this and that for the kids and since they live with her it should be their rules... My reply "you must have missed the memo, just becasue you guys have the kids mostly, doesn"t mean you are the controller, keep acting like this and you she could take you guys to court".

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    January 17, 2013 at 1:17 PM

    Proof of the Bio mothers apt for violence...tisk tisk

    Quoting mary841108:

     well thankfully my kids dont have a step mother because if she acted like you bitch would be getting knocked the fuck out.


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