Mom Confessions
Replies
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2 years is a really long time to not be over this. Counseling, for you both.
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Well...I dont blame him I guess
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How interesting...last week a woman posted something along the lines of "I went through his phone, I know I'm horrible but he cheated and I can't trust him" Guess what everyones reply was to HER..... "You should never have gone through his phone, that's not okay because you agreed to stay with him, how is he ever supposed to gain your trust back if you keep snooping?" Seriously, the women here tore her apart. But now, it's the man doing the snooping after she cheated and "She made her bed, she has to deal." Seriously, the hipocrits on this site kill me.
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Some people just take longer that others makes the switch easier. I may take a while,
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Go to marriage counsiling. It's been 2 years. He chose to stay. Obviously you guys aren't getting anywhere. Marriage counsiling or call it quits.
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Less than a year later me and my husband are fine again, they are not working on the problem that caused her to cheat. A lot of people are very judgemental about situations like this but it is both parties, my husband and I stopped being there for each other and one of us cheated on the other. Not saying we had an excuse but, if we had took the time to work on things and the one who was cheated on hadn't been so selfish for so long it would have never happened. This happened in July of last year looking at us now you wouldn't be able to tell we ever had troubles. She had an emotional affair and they sound like they need counseling.
Quoting Beautiful31mom:
You cheated what do you expect, You cannot get that kind of trust back in 2 yrs. You made your bed now you have to lie in it.No pun intended.
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If you had problems before the affair, then you seek marriage couseling to help fix it, or you decide on divorce. You act like you had no choice in the matter? It was YOUR choice to step out of the marriage. You are the only one who is making yourself miserable. Either you deal with it, or you move on. Don't blame your husband's trust issues on a mistake that YOU made.
Quoting Anonymous:
Do you really think there weren't problems before the affair? Why do most people have an affair? I can only fix my half. And I shouldn't have to be miserable for the rest of my life because of one mistake. We have both made mistakes in this marriage
Quoting Beautiful31mom:
Quoting Anonymous:
I expect that if he wanted to fix our marriage he wouldn't make us both miserable every day. I'm sure it's not fun for him either to feel the need to be constantly going through my things or questioning me. And it is constant. 3-4 times a day
Quoting Beautiful31mom:
You cheated what do you expect, You cannot get that kind of trust back in 2 yrs. You made your bed now you have to lie in it.No pun intended.
Honestly, are you seriously blaming him for your failed marriage? You were the one that stepped out NOT Him. If you did not cheat in the first place he wouldn't have to go through your things or question you. It is YOUR fault not his.
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Consequence of having an affair. He doesn't trust you. you'll just have to suck it up until he feels secure in the marriage again.
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I still look through my dh's phone. I hadn't for a while, I thought we were doing so good. Then I find out about yet another secret email account and this lady who he's been "with" since October. This is his last chance to straigten up or he can get the hell out.