Mom Confessions
While cleansing my business in the shower, I felt a bump.
Automatically, I start to feel the bile rise in my throat. Feeling that, matched with my already deep-seated fears and doubts caused me more butterflies, and not of the lovely variety, in my belly than I've felt in a long time.
So I do what any other woman would do in that position, of course. I get out my compact mirror and investigate. What I see is a slightly raised, black dot on the inner part of my left vaginal lip. I couldn't get a close-enough view, so I got my camera and took pictures, even. After my findings, I resort to good ol' google and type in words a woman never wants to type into a search engine; genital warts. Now I've never had genital warts, or warts of any kind. I've never had an std, and I have always had and only have one sexual partner: my husband. Some of the pictures looked like what I had, while others looked nothing of the sort. I didn't assume it could only be that and stick with that hypothesis without further investigation, I searched other things it could be... But they all led back to sexually transmitted diseases.
So, naturally, my next step is obvious. I wake my husband up, show him, and then... Just stare at him with raised eye brows. I say ''pleeeease tell me you're not with anyone but me...''. I expect him to say something similiar to ''Oh, babe. You know I'd never...'' or '' Oh babe. I am not having sex with anyone but you, stop worrying.'' I expected reassurance and consoling and convincing. What I got? Denial, defensiveness, and blame. I got ''Are you f*cking kidding me?! I promise on our kids I'm not f*cking anyone but you! How do I know YOU'RE not stepping out on me?! You're gonna feel so dumb when the doctor tells you it's nothing, and when you come begging for an apology, I'm gonna laugh in your f*cking face! God, you're so stupid!'' Then he laid in bed, faced away from me, sighed, and is now, I'm guessing, asleep.
Let me remind you, I didn't come at him guns ablaize, pushing him into a corner, accusing him, or anything of that nature. In fact, I thought I was fairly non-chalant about the whole thing. ''Hey babe, can you look at something for me?'' and then basically begging him to tell me there's only me doesn't qualify as accusatory. In this terrifying situation, I could have been mega-bitch, but decided to lay it on him easy.
Long story short. I need some answers to help me sleep better at night until I can get into a doctor, so no better a place to come than a room fulla ladies, hopefully ready and willing to help me out. Give me something, whether that be advice, suggestions, therapy, a good talk. Something.
**It looks almost like a good sized tick. Real black. Kinda tender.**
Automatically, I start to feel the bile rise in my throat. Feeling that, matched with my already deep-seated fears and doubts caused me more butterflies, and not of the lovely variety, in my belly than I've felt in a long time.
So I do what any other woman would do in that position, of course. I get out my compact mirror and investigate. What I see is a slightly raised, black dot on the inner part of my left vaginal lip. I couldn't get a close-enough view, so I got my camera and took pictures, even. After my findings, I resort to good ol' google and type in words a woman never wants to type into a search engine; genital warts. Now I've never had genital warts, or warts of any kind. I've never had an std, and I have always had and only have one sexual partner: my husband. Some of the pictures looked like what I had, while others looked nothing of the sort. I didn't assume it could only be that and stick with that hypothesis without further investigation, I searched other things it could be... But they all led back to sexually transmitted diseases.
So, naturally, my next step is obvious. I wake my husband up, show him, and then... Just stare at him with raised eye brows. I say ''pleeeease tell me you're not with anyone but me...''. I expect him to say something similiar to ''Oh, babe. You know I'd never...'' or '' Oh babe. I am not having sex with anyone but you, stop worrying.'' I expected reassurance and consoling and convincing. What I got? Denial, defensiveness, and blame. I got ''Are you f*cking kidding me?! I promise on our kids I'm not f*cking anyone but you! How do I know YOU'RE not stepping out on me?! You're gonna feel so dumb when the doctor tells you it's nothing, and when you come begging for an apology, I'm gonna laugh in your f*cking face! God, you're so stupid!'' Then he laid in bed, faced away from me, sighed, and is now, I'm guessing, asleep.
Let me remind you, I didn't come at him guns ablaize, pushing him into a corner, accusing him, or anything of that nature. In fact, I thought I was fairly non-chalant about the whole thing. ''Hey babe, can you look at something for me?'' and then basically begging him to tell me there's only me doesn't qualify as accusatory. In this terrifying situation, I could have been mega-bitch, but decided to lay it on him easy.
Long story short. I need some answers to help me sleep better at night until I can get into a doctor, so no better a place to come than a room fulla ladies, hopefully ready and willing to help me out. Give me something, whether that be advice, suggestions, therapy, a good talk. Something.
**It looks almost like a good sized tick. Real black. Kinda tender.**
Replies
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I had something almost exactly what you described. I was freaking out that it was a tick, just like you are describing. Ended up being a blood blister of sorts. It popped, bled out, and healed. Sorry, MAJOR tmi -
But its black would an ingrown hair be black? I would have checked it out firat before asking him but cause he got so defensive to me that says guilt but everyone is different...good luck -
This is exactly what I was thinking... Maybe and huge maybe a REALLY infected ingrown hair. I get then when I shave bare, and they aren't black...
Quoting Anonymous:
Um, warts aren't tender and black. Honestly, neither are boils or ingrown hairs unless they're horribly infected.
See a doctor.
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Are you sure its not a tick?
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I could just be a tick...
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It could be a lot of things. I wouldn't have confronted him until after I knew for sure it was an std. Definitely wouldn't have woke him up out of his sleep accusing or asking him that. -
Everyone is saying ingrown hair. I've had ingrown hairs and this looks nothing like it. Also, it's not on my lip, it's IN my lip. There are no hairs, no nothing. It's just like the inside of your actual mouth lips. It's just tissue.
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it might be a pimple or in grown hair,
I told my fiance I cheated on him( with my ex) early in our relationship he forgave me cause we weren't that serious yet (2 weeks into Dating), 2 weeks later I had to tell him I had herpes. He sat down next to me gave me a hug and said we can work through that as well and takes care of me when it makes me sick. Be glad it isn't something like mine turned out to be -
Could be a sebaceous cyst.
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Could be a bartholin cyst