The sentence that just came out of my mouth, directed at DD: "I would like you to go get dressed. If you're able to do this in a timely manner then you may be able to engage in some sort of recreational activity before we leave."
She's five. I found myself reflecting on that sentence after I spoke it. Many would say that's too advanced for a child of her age, but since she began speaking in sentences that's how I've spoken to her. Not every sentence is put so eloquently. Sometimes I'm brief and occasionally I'm long winded. It provides her the opportunity to hear vocabulary she isn't necessarily exposed to on a regular basis outside of our home. When she doesn't understand, she asks, and I define the word or break down the phrase so she knows.
The sentence struck me. Sometimes my mom rolls her eyes at me because she thinks DD wouldn't understand. She's fairly precocious and I love the English language, as well as I love teaching her about it.
For good measure, I feel like I should throw an eff bomb in here, because my children are also exposed to the gutteral language. So, fuck.
Do you swear in front of your kids? Do you use large words with them?
by xomrs.chaseJanuary 13, 2013 at 8:58 AMI try not to swear in front of him.
I talk to him as if he understands everything. He's 1. Sometimes I will simplify if I need him to do something, but otherwise I speak to him as if he is an adult.
January 13, 2013 at 9:00 AMYes and no. But he's only 9 months old right now. But he is starting to talk so we are starting to watch what we say.
I have, from birth, spoken to my son like I would anyone else. He is a gifted child, and began talking early himself. He could have full conversations at age 2. My son is nine now, and of course I love his ability to hold a conversation, I do wish he talked a bit less. Also, we do not swear.
I do the same thing. Not quite so wordy or long winded, but I do speak like an adult to my kids. I expect them to speak to me with correct language as well. I don't like baby talk or dumbing stuff down. And yes... I cuss like a sailor in front of them.
January 13, 2013 at 10:03 AM
"Large words", yes sometimes, but only because that's how I naturally articulate, not for the sole purpose of introducing them to the children, I've witnessed people doing such, and it drives me crazy. I understand the desire for your child to feel comfortable with a vast vocabulary, but if your just looking for any excuse to inject an elaborate vocabulary word in to your child's head, then, frankly, it comes across as incredibly pretentious. I am in no way insinuating that this is your case with your child, but we have all seen it in our lives. If its who you are, how you feel most comfortable communicating naturally then I would expect it. Now, swearing, No!!!! I never swear in front of the children. I was raised up, thankfully, to believe that women should not swear. What was the saying...."Men want a lady in the living room and a wh@#* in the bed room." I wholeheartedly agree with that theory, and not just because It was told to me as a young lady, but because it makes perfect sense to me. Have I swore, yes, a few times in my life I have, when I have felt so passionate, disgusted, or enraged that I simply felt there was no where else to go with my terminology to get my point of these feelings across, but it has hardly ever occurred, I havealways felt a little discusted with my un-lady like demeanor and NEVER, EVER in front of the children. If you have ever really sat back and watched a woman spew off a myriad of vulgar words while discussingher latest trip to the mall or Starbucks it just sounds wrong, and I can see her attractiveness, in my eyes, decreecing by the cylable. On that note, I may be a hypocrite, in that I expect men to swear to a certain degree and it doesn't bother me in the least. I have never met a man who dose'nt, and it has made no difference weather he was raised with privilege and sophistication or not, exceptionally bright or not, went to the best schools or not, grown up in a trailer in the South or a mansion in the North East. I've had male friends in high school and college who had very privileged lives and attended Ivy league universities, and still, given the correct circumstances and used in the correct context, swearing was ever present and applied. My husband, a blue collar man from a small town in KS, where he grew up on a farm and worked it before and after school, along with all the other Clark Kent stereotypical activities, swears often, and yes some times in front of the children, and yes we have the argument about how it is not appropriate, and I don't want the children growing up to use those words with such ease, and especially NOT THE GIRLS!!! I don't feel it has much to do with intelligence, and more to do with upbringing and environment. You can be brilliant and swear all the time, you can be an idiot and use all the sophisticated words you like, but when some one is intelligent it comes through all the same, just like when some one is an idiot, it's pretty clear. I don't think swearing is an automatic go to for people who have a small vocabulary or poor education though. Not always any way.
by Anonymous 7January 13, 2013 at 10:26 AM
Im the same way and now my kids have large vocabularies.
My 9 yr old calls me out on the use of "crap" , which I don't consider profanity. I actually despise profanity and always tried to shelter my kids from it. I was truly embarrassed when I played a mix CD I'd made for the car and my youngest pointed out that the song Payphone by Maroon 5 has bad words. Oops! She loves that song, but had only heard the edited version so was shocked to hear the explicit lyrics. I felt like a crappy (yes, I still use that word) mom when she pointed out the bad words : ((
by fanci64January 13, 2013 at 10:33 AM
I believe as you believe. Children are much smarter than we give them credit for. I never spoke baby talk to my children, no do I with my grandhildren. And hell yes my children and grandchildren have heard me swear, please, its everywhere around them in the real world wether you want to admit I or not.
by 2ltlmonkeyzJanuary 13, 2013 at 10:34 AM
I don't swear at them ,but infront of them yes !
by banana-bearJanuary 13, 2013 at 10:37 AMPeople are often amazed at the vocabulary of my kids. My 4 year old just scolded the cashier at Target the other day; telling her to "be cautious with that (vase) because it's fragile". It was pretty funny :o)
And I say everything but fuck in front of them. They have yet to say any curse words because of it.