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Anonymous
Proud black woman.....*ETA*
by Anonymous
January 7, 2013 at 6:29 PM
So we are in the store and my 3 year old is always asking "what's that?" He says it to people or toys....whatever.





There was a black lady beside us and my son said "what's that?" Apparently she was offended cause she looks at him and says "I am a proud black woman" I said that's nice and walked off








I mean he was three.....


***she wasn't nice when she said it and he meant to say who not what but that's just how he says it right now.

Replies

  • la_bella_vita
    January 7, 2013 at 8:32 PM

     Oh yes, I totally believe this one!

  • livn4hevn
    January 7, 2013 at 8:36 PM

    No. There's no reason to correct a child when there isn't even clear evidence that what the child said was offensive. How in the WORLD would a 2-3 year old understand why mom is yelling at them and scolding them for asking a simple question, when they've been asking that SAME simple question all day every day, for WEEKS without discipline? No three year old is going to understand what the problem is. And it would severely limit their curiousity and exploration to yell at them for something when they don't even know what is wrong.

    Maybe a "who, sweetheart! When we talk about people, we say who!" might be good. But a public scolding? Ya... that doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

    And for you, or that woman, to immediately assume it was a skin color question is ludicrous. Again, there are a million things the child could have been referring to, or curious about. It's rude of you, and that woman, to assume that it was a race issue. ESPECIALLY with a three year old.

    Just because two people in the world are like-minded in this situation, doesn't mean you two are right and the REST of us are dead wrong. You need to back down. Accept the fact that it was a mistake, and that there are other possibilities. And stop verbally flogging this mom for her parenting skills.

    Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

    Try to break it down and excuse as you want. She was offended and the child SHOULD have been corrected RIGHT in front of her.

    Im sorry but I would be offended and she was. And she has every RIGHT to be offended.


    Quoting livn4hevn:

    because "what" is easier to pronounce than "who". And a three year old is curious about everything, and every one, and really only wants their mom to explain SOMETHING about that person. Doubt the kid was even asking about skin color. Maybe it was her shirt design, or her earrings, or her shoes...they want to know. "What" doesn't mean "wow she looks like an alien- please explain". It can mean a plethera of things.....why assume immediately that the child was referring to her skin color?

    Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

    Why would the child call a PERSON that looks just like them but a different COLOR a what?

    I have a full WHITE family.. We do have a AA in our family NOW but he wasn't around when my 2 oldest were 2-3 and even though they were not around nothing but WHITE. They NEVER called another HUMAN being a WHAT.... Really.. I don't even recall having this conversation with my children because WE NEVER MADE IT A POINT TO SEPERATE WHITE FROM BLACK!

    I would have been offended and she obviously was by saying " A PROUD BLACK WOMAN". Hence she is proud the be black.

    Quoting livn4hevn:

    I have to ask... did you sit your child down and show them a flip book of different races and explain what skin color is, and what race/ethnicity each person was in the photos?

    Why would you? Skin color doesn't MATTER to most of us. We don't see a person as black or chinese or indian or w/e... we see them as a person. So why would a mom, who thinks the same way, point out skin color as a defining characteristic so her 2 year old "understands"? Who would even think to DO that?!

    Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

    Maybe for a 1-2 yr old. But not for a 3 yr old.. Seriously? Whats that?


    Quoting Sparkey6987:

    Some kids do. My older son pointed at people a few times and said "what's that?". I'd just say "not what, who. That's a person. Why don't you say hi, and see what his/her name is?"...I only added the last part if the person heard him.

    Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

    Umm.. I don't know why your child would even do that?

    I have 3 little white boys but they didn't point out other people of race and ask "Whats that?"







  • tastelikeyum
    January 7, 2013 at 8:38 PM
    I still don't see the problem with that but ok. We'll agree to disagree, nothing wrong with that :-)


    Quoting hismommy2010:

     Typically 3 years old don't understand "pride" or "proud"... So her reply was more then likely meant for the mother. True pride is something that can be seen with out having to announce it.


    Quoting tastelikeyum:

    Really? How do you know she is not proud? What's wrong with having pride with ones self?



    Quoting hismommy2010:


     What the child did/asked wasn't rude, nor was it the childs intent to be rude. If he were older, and understood - then I would say the child may have meant to be rude. For the woman to reply 'proud black woman', isn't exactly rude in it's self. If she said it with a mean/rude tone, then yes - that was rude. The child would see her reply as directed towards him, even if in her mind she meant it towards the mother.



    On the other hand, I feel if any person is truly 'proud' of them self, they don't go around announcing it, announcing it is over compensating to make others believe that you are something you truly aren't, while trying to convince your self of the same.



    Quoting Pooobaihr:

    It is rude. It isn't intentionally rude, but it is rude and shouldn't be overlooked because he is 3. Correct him, apologize and move on.



    Quoting ethans_momma06:



     




    Quoting lnrmom:



    Quoting Anonymous:






    Darlin, he was incredibly rude. If a three year old said what is that about me I'd be livid. People are not things. You need to break him of that immediately. "He is three" is not an excuse. Start correcting him. And you should've been correcting him.


    Riiiiiight.



    Because three year olds totally get that calling someone a what is incorrect. Dude. Their vocabulary is limited as it is. If you get livid over that small thing... lord. You must go around being angry all the time.



    It's hardly RUDE. It may not have been correct, it may have been awkward for the parent, but it sure as heck wasn't "rude".



     



     


  • tastelikeyum
    January 7, 2013 at 8:42 PM
    0_o..........I just can't anymore. Smh


    Quoting Anonymous:

     kids say the darndest things!


    Walking though a store one day there was a VERY large woman riding one of the go cart thingies and my kid (3) looks over and goes "Mom, that's a REALLY big human!" and my response? "Yes son, yes it is." and just went about our business LOL


  • livn4hevn
    January 7, 2013 at 8:49 PM

    And further, I need to ask- if a black kid pointed to you and said "What's that?" would you be offended? Would you instantly assume he meant your skin color? And shout "I AM A PROUD WHITE WOMAN!" and walk away?

    Wow, you sure TOLD that three year old off! Congrats! Way to take a stand!

    I would probably look down and what I was wearing, or at whatever I was holding, or something. I would probably try to figure out what he was pointing at. If I had time, I might even smile and say "what? My shirt? This is a sparkle!! Do you like it?" and let him touch my sleeve. I would hold out what was in my hand, and say "this is milk! yum! You should ALWAYS drink your milk!" or maybe take out an earring, or wiggle my feet to show off my shoes... whatever it was I thought he was pointing at. If none of that, I might say, "I'm a mommy! Just like your mommy!" or "My name is XXX!! What's your name?"

    the LAST thing I would do is make a coarse, calloused reference to my race/ethnicity and be rude to a stinkin toddler. Good Lord. There are PLENTY of things to be angry about in regards to race/ethnicity. A three year old is the LEAST of those worries.

    Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

    Try to break it down and excuse as you want. She was offended and the child SHOULD have been corrected RIGHT in front of her.

    Im sorry but I would be offended and she was. And she has every RIGHT to be offended.


    Quoting livn4hevn:

    because "what" is easier to pronounce than "who". And a three year old is curious about everything, and every one, and really only wants their mom to explain SOMETHING about that person. Doubt the kid was even asking about skin color. Maybe it was her shirt design, or her earrings, or her shoes...they want to know. "What" doesn't mean "wow she looks like an alien- please explain". It can mean a plethera of things.....why assume immediately that the child was referring to her skin color?

    Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

    Why would the child call a PERSON that looks just like them but a different COLOR a what?

    I have a full WHITE family.. We do have a AA in our family NOW but he wasn't around when my 2 oldest were 2-3 and even though they were not around nothing but WHITE. They NEVER called another HUMAN being a WHAT.... Really.. I don't even recall having this conversation with my children because WE NEVER MADE IT A POINT TO SEPERATE WHITE FROM BLACK!

    I would have been offended and she obviously was by saying " A PROUD BLACK WOMAN". Hence she is proud the be black.

    Quoting livn4hevn:

    I have to ask... did you sit your child down and show them a flip book of different races and explain what skin color is, and what race/ethnicity each person was in the photos?

    Why would you? Skin color doesn't MATTER to most of us. We don't see a person as black or chinese or indian or w/e... we see them as a person. So why would a mom, who thinks the same way, point out skin color as a defining characteristic so her 2 year old "understands"? Who would even think to DO that?!

    Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

    Maybe for a 1-2 yr old. But not for a 3 yr old.. Seriously? Whats that?


    Quoting Sparkey6987:

    Some kids do. My older son pointed at people a few times and said "what's that?". I'd just say "not what, who. That's a person. Why don't you say hi, and see what his/her name is?"...I only added the last part if the person heard him.

    Quoting Grumpylilpixy:

    Umm.. I don't know why your child would even do that?

    I have 3 little white boys but they didn't point out other people of race and ask "Whats that?"







  • mary841108
    January 8, 2013 at 8:52 AM

     a child of three is just that, a child. even adults make mistakes kids seem to make them once in a while too believe it or not. shit happens. personally, i think its beyond idiotic to get bent out of shape over something a tot says.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    A child of three should know better than to refer to a person as"that".


    Quoting Anonymous:

    But he wasn't being rude. He is three.



    Quoting lnrmom:

    Quoting Anonymous:








    I don't know maybe explain he says that about things and people? Apologize maybe? That is a rude response for a question that her son asked that was rude. "That's nice"? Really? How about diffusing the situation and saying "and a pretty one at that".





    I'm not all about kissing ass, but when your kid is rude it falls on the parents to make it better.

     

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