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livn4hevn
Help me convince my husband to get the snip!
January 7, 2013 at 1:57 PM

We're not sure YET if that's what we wanna do. So if his reason was "I think I still want more kids" then I'd be okay with it.

But it isn't. He's opposed because "no one is coming near my junk with a knife". Really?! How VAIN can you be?!?! And PS... you're Circ'd!!!!

I've used all the usual arguments... it's an outpatient procedure, I've labored and delivered three times so it's YOUR turn, it's safer and healthier for YOU to do it, it doesn't hurt... I mean I've tried all of that.

He has a best friend who got it done and the guy's left nut swelled to a baseball size, and had all these complications. This information SCREWED me. Dh was mortified and the teeny crack in the door has been slammed shut and sealed forever. He refuses to even revisit the idea. Really? Cuz ONE GUY had complications?!?! COME ON!!!

Anyway, I'm on Mirena right now. Been using the IUD for idk... three years I guess. I'm 90% sure we're done, so we NEED to revisit the issue. He just turned 30. I really, REALLY don't want to get my tubes tied. It's not as failsafe, it's not as easy of a recovery.... and dammit I just don't wanna! I've already had my share of minor surgeries and hospital visits (three babies plus a gallbladder removal). He hasn't had ANY. Never once been admitted.

I feel like it's his turn to step up. I'm tired of being the only one responsible for the size of my family. Birth control has taken a MASSIVE toll on my body. I've been through hell and back trying to find one that works for me. It's his turn to take responsibility for our family. To do SOMETHING to contribute.

Replies

  • RichardsMom0209
    January 7, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    My Dh and I had the same conversation. When my son was born I told him if I ever had to have a c-section I have my tubes tied. Well I ended up with a c-section. So now after baby number two is born via C-section in June I having my tubes tied while they are in there. Good luck.

  • Diamepphyre
    January 7, 2013 at 2:49 PM

     I wanted to have my tubes tied after my third.  But hubby was working with an older lady who had hers done and she had nothing but trouble afterward, so he refused to allow me to have the procedure, and opted instead to have a vasectomy.  Turned out to be the best decision we could have made.  Many years later I developed a small tumor in the curve of my uterus, and after discussion with the doctor we opted for an endometrial ablation to hopefully prevent it from returning (it was benign, thank goodness).  As a result of the ablation, becoming pregnant could be deadly for both me and the baby - something we don't have to worry about due to hubby's vasectomy.

    What happened to your DH's buddy is unusual.  It's normal for the site to swell a bit - my DH's did - but beer and frozen peas worked wonders. 

    Good luck.

  • Anonymous 6
    by Anonymous 6
    January 7, 2013 at 2:51 PM
    You're delusional and selfish.
  • helema24
    January 7, 2013 at 2:53 PM

     if he has the ability to get snipped then its on him. the tubals they use these days are outpatient procedures but still more complicated than the procedure men get. the clamps they use these days can migrate or cause othe rirritations and then theres the post tubal syndrome that varies from managable to omg im on the floo r15-20 days out of the month pain. with the vasectomy they shave and numb the area and then its a simple tiny incision that they can locate and snip both tubes through. with  atubal depending on th eprocedure they may have to open you up completely. i had key hole surgery that they put me unde rfor and i woke up screaming in pain... my uterous went crazy and it was worse pain than when i had my daughter and i went natural with her!! hes her husband he needs to consider her feelings and if hes not going to get snipped then he doesnt need sex at all because condoms break and th epill doesnt alway swork!!

    Quoting msjaxon:

    So when a woman didn't want her husband to get a vasectomy, it was his body to do with what he wants. But a mom who wants her dh to get one should bully and try trick to him into it?


    Use other protection or get your tubes tied.

     

  • Bitchess
    January 7, 2013 at 2:57 PM

    Hubby got the snip in '09 and it's been worth it ever since. No having to worry about if I took my pill or any of the other problems with other BC methods. Yes Yes Yes!!!! Worth it! So totally worth it! Not to mention he'll be in and out that day and resting at home with a bag of peas on his crotch vs. a woman having to go in and most likely be an overnight thing at minimum.

  • Anonymous 7
    by Anonymous 7
    January 7, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    I really wouldn't force my husband to do something like that, I'm pretty sure he's a grown adult and capable of making his own decisions.  That's just me though.

  • msjaxon
    by msjaxon
    January 7, 2013 at 3:05 PM
    And what of his feelings? He does not wish to tamper with his genitals. It doesn't matter if it is painless, if he could do it from his living room easy chair with a cold one in hand, he doesn't want it.

    Oh condoms break and the pill doesn't work? Vasectomies don't always take either *sips coffee*

    Either individual can get a permanent bc. He doesn't want to, so she should, not be petty, childish, and spiteful.


    Quoting helema24:

     if he has the ability to get snipped then its on him. the tubals they use these days are outpatient procedures but still more complicated than the procedure men get. the clamps they use these days can migrate or cause othe rirritations and then theres the post tubal syndrome that varies from managable to omg im on the floo r15-20 days out of the month pain. with the vasectomy they shave and numb the area and then its a simple tiny incision that they can locate and snip both tubes through. with  atubal depending on th eprocedure they may have to open you up completely. i had key hole surgery that they put me unde rfor and i woke up screaming in pain... my uterous went crazy and it was worse pain than when i had my daughter and i went natural with her!! hes her husband he needs to consider her feelings and if hes not going to get snipped then he doesnt need sex at all because condoms break and th epill doesnt alway swork!!


    Quoting msjaxon:

    So when a woman didn't want her husband to get a vasectomy, it was his body to do with what he wants. But a mom who wants her dh to get one should bully and try trick to him into it?


    Use other protection or get your tubes tied.

     

  • helema24
    January 7, 2013 at 4:52 PM

     yuh mine couldnt for religious reasons and umm i dont want some female shaving his junk.....but to each their own!! my dh tried to talk me out of it fo rthe thiord time and i said NO!! all i know is it took my dad two days to recover and it took me nearly 2 months to recove rcompletely!!

    Quoting msjaxon:

    And what of his feelings? He does not wish to tamper with his genitals. It doesn't matter if it is painless, if he could do it from his living room easy chair with a cold one in hand, he doesn't want it.

    Oh condoms break and the pill doesn't work? Vasectomies don't always take either *sips coffee*

    Either individual can get a permanent bc. He doesn't want to, so she should, not be petty, childish, and spiteful.


    Quoting helema24:

     if he has the ability to get snipped then its on him. the tubals they use these days are outpatient procedures but still more complicated than the procedure men get. the clamps they use these days can migrate or cause othe rirritations and then theres the post tubal syndrome that varies from managable to omg im on the floo r15-20 days out of the month pain. with the vasectomy they shave and numb the area and then its a simple tiny incision that they can locate and snip both tubes through. with  atubal depending on th eprocedure they may have to open you up completely. i had key hole surgery that they put me unde rfor and i woke up screaming in pain... my uterous went crazy and it was worse pain than when i had my daughter and i went natural with her!! hes her husband he needs to consider her feelings and if hes not going to get snipped then he doesnt need sex at all because condoms break and th epill doesnt alway swork!!


    Quoting msjaxon:

    So when a woman didn't want her husband to get a vasectomy, it was his body to do with what he wants. But a mom who wants her dh to get one should bully and try trick to him into it?


    Use other protection or get your tubes tied.

     

     

  • fullxbusymom
    January 7, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    Nope sorry i won't.  If he doesn't want too, than that is his right.  Nobody should be forced to do anything that they don't want to do to their own bodies.

  • BKozICan
    January 7, 2013 at 4:57 PM

    The sex is freakin' awesome and far more often if you're not worried about getting pregnant. A weight is lifted.

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