We're not sure YET if that's what we wanna do. So if his reason was "I think I still want more kids" then I'd be okay with it.
But it isn't. He's opposed because "no one is coming near my junk with a knife". Really?! How VAIN can you be?!?! And PS... you're Circ'd!!!!
I've used all the usual arguments... it's an outpatient procedure, I've labored and delivered three times so it's YOUR turn, it's safer and healthier for YOU to do it, it doesn't hurt... I mean I've tried all of that.
He has a best friend who got it done and the guy's left nut swelled to a baseball size, and had all these complications. This information SCREWED me. Dh was mortified and the teeny crack in the door has been slammed shut and sealed forever. He refuses to even revisit the idea. Really? Cuz ONE GUY had complications?!?! COME ON!!!
Anyway, I'm on Mirena right now. Been using the IUD for idk... three years I guess. I'm 90% sure we're done, so we NEED to revisit the issue. He just turned 30. I really, REALLY don't want to get my tubes tied. It's not as failsafe, it's not as easy of a recovery.... and dammit I just don't wanna! I've already had my share of minor surgeries and hospital visits (three babies plus a gallbladder removal). He hasn't had ANY. Never once been admitted.
I feel like it's his turn to step up. I'm tired of being the only one responsible for the size of my family. Birth control has taken a MASSIVE toll on my body. I've been through hell and back trying to find one that works for me. It's his turn to take responsibility for our family. To do SOMETHING to contribute.
Start using condoms. Tell him if he doesn't like them, he's going to have to get snipped. LOL Worked for me! DH got it done early December.
January 7, 2013 at 2:07 PM
I wish I knew what to tell you. I was in the same boat until recently. What ended up working for me was not giving him sex. It wasn't intended as a punishment-I didn't even realize what had happened until a few months ago. I gradually lost my drive because I am/was always worried about getting pregnant.
Glad my dh isnt a baby, he went in on his lunch break, it took half an hr and he went back to work (desk job). I think the think that bugged him the most was that the 2 stitches they put in itched a little, no other complaints from him. Wish I could be more help but dh really isnt a complainer.
January 7, 2013 at 2:14 PM
After 4 kids and knowing we were done, my husband did get snipped. Its really no big deal -- he was outside pitching to our son a few hours after the procedure (granted he was sitting in a chair icing himself - but he was still playing baseball). There's no way that it hurts more than the pain of childbirth and recovery. It is your hubby's turn to take responsibility - I'm not sure how you can get that point across other than the fact that birth control gets expensive each month. It's nice not having to worry about getting pregnant once you are sure you are done. Good Luck!
GL. I couldn't convince my ex to do it. I therefore had a tubal (had to have a c-section anyway and was tied at that time). I guess I felt it was his body so he had the right to say no. I do see your point but if the guy doesn't want it, he doesn't. Tell him to start using condoms...