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No, you may not get a vasectomy and end my ability to procreate!
by Anonymous
January 5, 2013 at 11:18 PM

I just gave birth to our third and fourth children, and my husband has now stated on multiple occasions in the month since they were born that he plans to get "cut".  My suspicion is that he is totally overwhelmed right now.  Knowing him, he would regret the choice.  Regardless, this is upsetting me for two reasons.  

1- Getting "cut" is a circumcision.  Getting "snipped" is a vasectomy.  I have held my tongue, but I feel every inch of my body tense up every time he says it.  It sounds stupid.  He doesn't need to get "cut".  He was circumcised 30 years ago.

2- He knew very well from the beginning of our relationship that I am opposed to permanent sterilization as a birth control method within the context of marriage.  I very clearly stated that a vasectomy or tubal ligation would not be something that I would consider.  I said that I could not feel good about making that choice as a couple, and I was not willing to enter a marriage that kept that possibility open.  And years later, here we are... married.  And here he is... talking about getting a vasectomy.

This is not about beliefs on vasectomies.  It isn't about who gets to decide.  It's about honoring your partner enough to respect their beliefs and make good on the promises that were made and arrangements that were agreed to before the marriage.

Am I wrong?


  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    January 5, 2013 at 11:20 PM
    You don't really get a choice about what he wants to do with his body
  • KeenaStarr
    January 5, 2013 at 11:20 PM
    How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
  • Roxygurl
    January 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM
    It sounds like he's just overwhelmed. I'd let it go for now.
  • RMB2011
    by RMB2011
    January 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM
  • scperdomo
    January 5, 2013 at 11:21 PM
    Its not about who is right or wrong, clearly, after 4 kids, your husband's position has changed. Its a conversation you and your husband need to have.
  • Buggy979
    January 5, 2013 at 11:22 PM
    Wow, not your choice. If he doesn't want anymore you should respect his choice...
  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    January 5, 2013 at 11:22 PM
    Yes you are wrong. Why are you so against it?
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    January 5, 2013 at 11:22 PM

    I would respect the arrangement that we made prior to getting married.

    Quoting KeenaStarr:

    How would you feel if the roles were reversed?

  • lovinmyboys...
    January 5, 2013 at 11:23 PM
    It would not end your ability to procreate, it would end his.
  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    January 5, 2013 at 11:23 PM

    Does your husband have a say in any of this?  You'd better listen to his side unless you're looking to be a single mom with 4 kids.

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