Mom Confessions
My DH just walked downstairs and informed me that we needed to "adjust" our holiday plans. He seemed upset but today has been an odd day..
He had been on the phone to his brother who had informed him that I was not invited to the Christmas gathering, they are having at their house on Christmas eve because I have demons. What?
I have been to their traditional Christmas eve get together for the last five years and it is something DD, DH and I look forward to. It is always a lot of fun and we end up creating a lot of great memories. I thought his family liked me and it's disheartening to know they think I have "demons". Again, what?
They drink, they gamble, they curse BUT Sunday's they go to church and on Wednesdays they hold a Bible study. I am an Atheist, a fact I thought they knew many moons ago. But SIL has decided that having me there this year would corrupt their festive occasion because of my beliefs as an Atheist.
I normally would just say "fuck it, we won't go and will do our own thing" but this maybe DH's mother's last Christmas and I can't take spending it with her away. I know there are places for me and DD to spend Christmas but it breaks my heart to know I won't be spending it with my husband.
Should I call SIL up and ask her to meet with me to discuss the issue? Just let DH go and DD and I go elsewhere or make DH stay home with his family (DD and I)?
Replies
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Good luck with that. :/
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Wait, he's willing to go without you? My husband wouldn't even begin to allow his family to treat me that way. He'd either not go or set them straight and we'd all be going.
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Quoting UgtaBkdnMe:
Good luck with that. :/
Right.
I should just bite my tongue and leave well enough alone. Have DH do what he thinks is best and enjoy the holidays as if this never happened. I just feel so jipped that for years they have acted as if my beliefs were not a problem..
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That is really sad. :(
How on earth would you be corrupting anything?What sparked them to all of the sudden cut you out now?
And why is your husband going without you?
That is not right. -
Talk to the sil diplomatically and if that doesn't work have your husband and daughter go without you for the sake of grandma alone, that or all don't go and make private plans with grandma. On this you have to be the bigger person. -
I am so sorry.
That's purely inexcusable behavior from some "Christians".
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Quoting jillbailey26:
Wait, he's willing to go without you? My husband wouldn't even begin to allow his family to treat me that way. He'd either not go or set them straight and we'd all be going.
No, he wants to do something special with just DD and I. I am sure there were words exchanged and I am sure his brother got an earful but I would feel selfish taking his last Christmas with his mother away. Or making everyone uncomfortable because DH insisted I be welcomed in a home I was "uninvited" in..
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I would call or meet with the sister. It is possible that they didn't know you were an atheist. I think that your dh's family is being stupid, but perhaps they just need reassurance that you are willing to participate without "corrupting" their activities. I would only do all of this for my dh, and his mother's sake. After this Christmas, screw them.
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If it was me I would call sil and be nice and polite to just ask her what changed from all the other years and to let her know that your feelings were hurt. I would leave it up to dh if he wanted to go or not, with no hard feelings about what he decides. I would allow dd to go with him if he choses since you said it might be his moms last christmas. sorry, family sucks somertimes. -
Quoting lindilouwho82:
Quoting jillbailey26:
Wait, he's willing to go without you? My husband wouldn't even begin to allow his family to treat me that way. He'd either not go or set them straight and we'd all be going.
No, he wants to do something special with just DD and I. I am sure there were words exchanged and I am sure his brother got an earful but I would feel selfish taking his last Christmas with his mother away. Or making everyone uncomfortable because DH insisted I be welcomed in a home I was "uninvited" in..
Can you bring his mother to your house? To spend a special day with her.