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My husband is having/had an Emotional affair
by Anonymous
December 10, 2012 at 11:30 PM

I don't know what to do I just found out my husband has been having an emotional affair. I caught him through text on our phone bill, he came clean right away and apologized said nothing physical happened and he would cut off ties.
I feel like the rug pulled out from underneath me, I have never had trust issues and frankly I don't really want too over think it but this is 1 of those things that really makes you question everything. my dad cheated on my mom so for me I just always assume the same thing will happen and now I wonder if it would have or will.
First he pushed the nothing physical happened thing but I explained how investing in somebody else leaves less for your relationship with your wife and messes up the trust.
Guess I just need to vent, not sure what the next step is. Part of me just wants to trust everything's fine but it's such a slippery slope and I hate to leave it open.kwim

Replies

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    December 11, 2012 at 9:10 AM

    I have thought about calling. I don't care to be the crazy stalker who calls the other women but in some very odd and seemingly unlogical way, I would take what she had to say. 

     I can't imagine why she would be anymore honest with me unless of course I just shocked her a bit with the call. Idk

    Quoting Mychele:

    Text the woman. Be nice. Say who you are and ask what her relationship is with your husband. Or call. Text just gives you more proof unless you record the call.


  • Mychele
    by Mychele
    December 11, 2012 at 9:26 AM
    Calling one time isn't the crazy stalker. I've done it 2x. The OW were surprisingly more open and honest than I expected. They have nothing invested in you so more likely to be honest.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I have thought about calling. I don't care to be the crazy stalker who calls the other women but in some very odd and seemingly unlogival way, I would take what she had to say. 

     I can't imagine why she would be anymore honest with me unless of course I just shocked her a bit with the call. Idk

    Quoting Mychele:

    Text the woman. Be nice. Say who you are and ask what her relationship is with your husband. Or call. Text just gives you more proof unless you record the call.


  • Anonymous 8
    by Anonymous 8
    December 11, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    I'm sorry.

  • LovingSAHMommy
    December 11, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    IMO, an emotional affair is more dangerous than a physical one. It's a sign that something is really missing in your relationship. Find out what it is and repair it, if possible. Best of luck!

  • brettsmomma
    December 11, 2012 at 9:34 AM

    Your next step needs to be counseling. The two of you need to get down and dirty and find out why is it he felt the need to become emotionally involved with another person. 

  • angy129
    by angy129
    December 11, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    I would definitely seek marriage counseling. He has broken your trust and trust isn't that easy to just give back. 

  • Anonymous 9
    by Anonymous 9
    December 11, 2012 at 9:37 AM

     So sorry. :( An emotional affair, to me, is worse than a physical affair. First thing you need to do is make sure that woman hits the road.

  • semamaearth
    December 11, 2012 at 9:37 AM

    same for me

    it won't be easy, but he did come clean right away. That's something. He's prob been waiting for you to catch him, if he was that quick to come clean. Forgiveness is key. So is trust, I know. If you still love him, tell him that. Let him know you want this to work and be willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.

    Quoting KeheleyLayna:

     I hope it works out for you. Long story short, and leaving out a lot of drama.. I had an emotional affair with a guy other than my husband. It was the last straw for me, and I was ready for divorce, but for some reason, I had the feeling to give our marraige another try.. and it worked. we're happier than ever.


  • macbudsmom
    December 11, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    Those are the worst kind.  Sorry.  Hugs!

  • Anonymous 10
    by Anonymous 10
    December 11, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    maybe you should be there more, emotionally,  for your man then.  Men stray because their needs are not being met. 

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