I 100% believe you should live with the person you are going to marry before you marry them...
December 9, 2012 at 11:56 PM
Seriously, had I lived with my husband before we got married I would not of married him! He is an ass, he is rude, mean, and emotionally abusive. He is totally NOT the person I dated at all! When my son turns 16 or whatever the age is that my husband cant get custody anymore, we will probably divorce! The only reason I am with him is because I wont risk him getting partial custody of our son, my son is autistic and has other medical conditions that my husband refuses to accept and I know he would ignore his medical needs! If I had a daughter I would tell her to find out the real person she is going to marry before she marries them, definitely dont have a child with them until they show their real side! I love my son, and he was a surprise after we got married, and thats ok, he is my everything. But I would definitely say live with the person you are contemplating marrying!
I also believe it is best to live with someone before you marry them. You don't get to truly know someone until you live with them. Then you get to see all the weird things they do at home that they don't do anywhere else.
We did thing completely backwards lol, dated got pregnant moved in together, then marriage. Yet I would not change a thing. I would have lived with him before marriage anyway.
It sorta depends on the people I guess. But I've known people that dated for years, and then they got married and moved in together, and then split up after just 4 months because they couldn't stand each other.
I mean, living with someone is a WAY bigger step than getting married. Anyone can get married, but it takes a lot to actually live with someone. My husband and I had a rocky start when we moved in together, but we worked out the kinks before we got pregnant and married, and we had a much happier time after marriage. It makes thing simpler too. If you REALLY know them before you make it legal, then there are no problems.
December 10, 2012 at 12:04 AM
December 10, 2012 at 12:05 AM
A wise person told me once before to date a person for 1 year before you talk marriage b/c w/each season change, comes a changed person. Then she followed it up to say live w/that person as an engaged couple for 1 year before you actually marry him/her. Just to see how that person is w/you in a "home" setting. I couldn't have agreed more!
I love my husband with my all and if I had to do it all over again I would, that being said I'd definitely want to live with him first. I was very stunned when I married and moved in with dh and realized what a slob he was. His car was always immaculate, the very few times I went to the barracks with him his room was decent and even the couple of months he stayed with me before leaving for recruiting duty he was a neatnik, always cleaning but once we married and I moved in with him his cleanliness habits disappeared. At least if I had lived with him first I wouldn't have been blindsided saving us from a year or so of growing pains when we were first married.