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My ex is now trying to adopt children with his wife when he doesn't even take care of our child
by Anonymous
December 8, 2012 at 11:34 AM

I was contacted by an adoption agency saying that my ex (father of my child) is trying to adopt a child with his wife. The are checking into his background and I guess this includes children he already has. Now I am sure they will verify everything I told them with them with the courts but I told her that I was very shocked because he has very little to do with the child we have.

We had  a visitation order and a child support order and he pays his CS for the most part. But even though he could have had her every other weekend and one day during the week, he was only taking her her, at most one Saturday a month and that's only for an hour or two. So about a year ago, we went back to court and had the visitation changed to at my discretion (it was too much of a pain to sit around and wait to see if he wanted her every other weekend before we made plans).

I have to have him sign we he picks her up and drops her off and he makes his visitation requests in writing (via e-mail or text) so that he can prove when he asks. At this point, he is still only taking her 1 Saturday a month for a couple hours but any time he asks, I make sure she goes with him, that's just all he asks for. He also refuses to do any extras for her, he won't pay for any activities for her and maybe buys her one or two cheap gifts on Christmas (when he can afford way more then that).

She seemed very interested in what I had to say and I would fax her my records, which I said sure and she asked if she could contact me if she needed anything, which I said yes. The second I got off the phone with her, I called my uncle who is an attorney for an adoption agency, not that one though) to ask him if what I said will have any bearing in this. He said that it will be very easy to confirm my story and when the the agency does, their application will be immediately denied. I don't know if the agency will tell them why they have been denied but if they do I am sure he will raise hell about it.


Do you think that someone who doesn't really parent a child he has should be allowed to adopt another child with his new wife? If it matters, I know his wife can't have children so I guess that's why they are trying to adopt.
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 19% - Yes
  2. 80% - No

Replies

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    December 8, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    bump

  • DieselsMom
    December 8, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    What you did is wrong.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    December 8, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    bump

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    December 8, 2012 at 11:39 AM

    What would you have done in the situation?  Would you have lied for your ex?

    Quoting DieselsMom:

    What you did is wrong.


  • mommytoeandb
    December 8, 2012 at 11:40 AM

    I see no problem with telling the truth. 

  • DieselsMom
    December 8, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    I would not have answered any questions...becuase it is none of my business what he is trying to do with his current wife!

    Quoting Anonymous:

    What would you have done in the situation?  Would you have lied for your ex?

    Quoting DieselsMom:

    What you did is wrong.



  • krissy920
    December 8, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    I feel bad for his new wife  who may desperatly  want a child  of her own, but i feel bad for your child as well.  Its a shame he doesnt want to  spend the time to get to know her more and love her more  =/

  • XJetX
    by XJetX
    December 8, 2012 at 11:42 AM
    Why was she wrong? She was honest.

    Quoting DieselsMom:

    What you did is wrong.

  • GreenEyePixie
    December 8, 2012 at 11:43 AM
    why? Was she supposed to lie and gush at how amazing and attentive a dad he is?

    Quoting DieselsMom:

    What you did is wrong.

  • Elly219
    by Elly219
    December 8, 2012 at 11:43 AM

     I get your feelings but it isnt just him that wants a child/baby. His new wife could be an amazing mother but now she may not get a chance.  This makes me sad! :(

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