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If a couple had a surrogate mother, who do you throw a baby shower for *update*
December 6, 2012 at 5:40 PM

the couple who's going to have the baby or the surrogate who carries the baby for 9 months?

Doesn't the surrogate deserve something?

**wow! this is the 3rd post of mine in 6 months that has been featured on the the front page of cafemom.


**why do you ladies assume that the surrogate gets paid? that's not always true.

I never got paid when I was a surrogate. Honestly, I got a thank you card and they took me out to a restaurant because that's the only thing they could afford.


  • wkukid
    by wkukid
    December 6, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    The couple who's having the baby

  • Matriarch87
    December 6, 2012 at 5:41 PM

    Well of course the shower would be for the parents...the surrogate is most likely ver y well compensated.

  • Sammybby09
    December 6, 2012 at 5:41 PM
    The baby stuff should go to the parents and if I were attending a shower with a surrogate, I would get her something to help with labor or relax her.
  • sheramom4
    December 6, 2012 at 5:42 PM

    The parents get the baby shower, not the surrogate. Although it would be sweet to give a gift card or something to the surrogate as well for dinner or a spa service for after the baby is born if you chose to do so.

  • risaspieces
    December 6, 2012 at 5:42 PM
    You would throw the shower for the parents. I have a friend who was a surrogate and she was invited to it, but it was for the parents to be.
  • storkneedsgps
    December 6, 2012 at 5:43 PM
    The baby stuff goes to the parents who get the baby. The surrogate gets paid often but not always. A small gift such as nice lotion, bubble bath or maybe comfy PJ's would be sweet but not necessary
  • Angela6296
    December 6, 2012 at 5:44 PM
    I would say the shower is for the mother/parents, not the vessel. However, if they know each other and are comfortable, they could have the surrogate attend and give her some gifts of appreciation too.
  • Jade89
    by Jade89
    December 6, 2012 at 5:44 PM
    The couple who the baby is for.

  • NewMamaBoo
    December 6, 2012 at 5:45 PM

    Surrogate gets a thank you party! Cook her fav food and get her something sweet like a necklace. Then baby shower for the mama who will need baby stuff! Good call

    by HIJKLM
    December 6, 2012 at 5:45 PM
    A baby shower is supposed to be for the baby but it would be nice to include both "moms"

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