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mom2cheesebug
Nobody told me i could do both! *edit to answer questions*
December 3, 2012 at 8:18 AM
Nobody told me i could breastfeed and formula feed. I stoppped breastfeeding my first dd when she was two months old because i couldnt pump. I never got a break and she was ALWAYS hungry. I thought i was just not producing enough milk.

But with this baby it is soooo much easier formula feeding and breastfeeding. I didnt add the formula until she was two weeks old, but it is sooo much easier. I do not pump, she gets about two bottles of formula a day and i strictly breastfeed at night (its easier then getting up and making the bottle, lol). I get my break, my boobs arnt near as sore, and others get to feed her as well. Im not shy about feeding her in public, but its easier being able to give her a bottle when we r out and about. She does pretty good with it, sometimes she will prefer a bottle over the boob or the other way around. I think i will be able to breastfeed her until she is at least one, or bites my boob, lol.

I wish i knew then what i know now.... my second child is sooo much easier than my first and thats with a two year old running around. Its amazing the little tricks you learn that nobody tells you, like they actually make a little swaddle blanket. Im sure they had them two years ago, but i always tried to use a regular baby blanket and she would wiggle her way out of it. With this one they gave me one at the hospital and mil bought us one the day we brought her home.
Also, i learned that if you hold a baby nonstop, they always want to be held. I learned my lesson with my first. I get more done now with two kids then i did back then with one baby.


Any one else learn anything from experience? Please share, my kids r still teaching me everyday. Lol.


*edit*
wow, this post went a total diff direction than i was hoping, i was hoping people would be giving advice on things they learned, not bashing me, but whatever...

I do hold my baby a lot, just note nonstop like with my first. If she falls asleep i put her down, with my first i would hold her if she fell asleep.

I have a bf consultant come to my house for the first six weeks. She was awesome and was actually the one who told me it wont hurt to give her a bottle or two a day because she seen how hard it was for me to pump, i can get about four ounces in twenty min, but i have to squeeze my boobs to do this, and thats with two diff pumps. She realized i was getting depressed and was really hard on myself.

My supply is still really good, just this morning my baby was acting funny whle bf and i took my boob out and it was just squirting everywhere and was too much at one time for her. My supply is good and if two bottles a day starts to make me dry up, i will go to one a day. But its been a few weeks and its fine.

I use the nuk breastfeeding nipples and bottles, its shaped like the end of a boob and the nipple looks like mine with the hole on top instead of on the end like normal bottle. Damn things cost $10 for three bottle and that was on sale.

I am feeding my kid and she is happy, i hold her a lot, just not nonstop. I have things i need to do. If your milk dried up im sorry, but everyones body is different, im still going strong. I am still mainy breastfeeding, so its really not necessary to bash. She eats every two hours, thats during the day and night, so i relly dont think two bottles matters. And even the bf consultant told me its healthier for me and baby to do both rather than just bf and me get post partum depression from being overwhelmed. She said i was starting to show the signs.

So to those who didnt bash, thankyou.....to the rest, why bother even commenting????? This post was to tell what u learned, not to bash me on what i feed my kid, or because i put her down instead of never putting her down and wearing a sling while i clean toilets and do the dishes.....

Replies

  • jamamama00
    December 7, 2012 at 12:24 PM

    I agree that there are lots of pathetically incompetent moms out there. However, whether a mom breastfeeds for nine years, or sticks a bottle of formula in baby's mouth from the get-go, the need the baby has to be fed is being met. I don't think the breast v bottle debate has anything at all to do w/ how much you love and care for your infant. As for the "why the pump" thing....I stand by my initial statement that "moms have things to do, and others need to help out." I understand that your husband and others did assist you, but if you were solely breastfeeding, then that means you were never away from your baby for more than two/three hours, no? Personally, that would never work for me.

    Quoting GaleJ:

    Well actually that is not at all true. I do not believe that the mother is the only person to care for the child. Our family was part of many "networks" in which children were cared for by many people within the network or organization. Whether at our Montessori school, our temple, or among  our circle of friends, my son was cared for by others and I participated in the care of other children as well. Furthermore my husband was an active caretaker for our son, regularly taking turns with all aspects of care, except obviously the breastfeeding.

    My statement was an honest inquiry regarding the need for a breast pump and bottles and was never meant to address anything about balance. While I did speak to the idea of a mother's focus being primarily on the baby for the very limited time/times when the baby requires it. I do believe that while the mother should be able to have help with childcare, have balance, she should be willing to commit fully to baby when appropriate to the baby's needs. That also is a question of balance with the baby's specific needs balanced with the mother's and that of the family's. 

    I personally find that too many people have children without understanding just how difficult parenting can be. Babies, and children, are wonderful but some can be very difficult and most go through some difficult times. At those times I believe that parents must put their primary focus on the babies/children without any hesitation and with a committed sense of selflessness. 


     

    Quoting jamamama00

    Well obviously, you are of the opinion that the mother is the only person who should provide for the child's needs, but most people simply don't follow that notion. Most women expect fathers and other caregivers to contribute to the child's needs and well-being. Also, just because a mother believes in taking time to foster her own personal needs, does not mean that the child is not the "overall focus" of said mother. I understand that a lot of extremists on here believe in this 'all or nothing' approach...but they are def in the minority. Plenty of mothers find that a healthy balance is key to a happy family...

    Quoting GaleJ:

    While I can understand special circumstances such as your own and others relating to lactation issues I don't understand the other reasons you cited. If one is to take the time to pump why not just take the same time to nurse? Our babies are small and in need of such intense attention for such a short time and for that time I do think they should be the major focus for their mothers. Babies are, and should be, an active commitment and I believe that if you are not willing to make that commitment you shouldn't have a baby. 

    I am not saying that there are no circumstances that might demand, for a limited time a mother's attention I am addressing the overall situation. 

    Quoting jamamama00:

    Because they have stuff to do? There are lots of other reasons,,,,mine was that I only have one boob and it took a pump to keep my supply up. However, just because someone is a stay-at-home mom does not mean they have no life other than baby. I know there are a lot of moms on here who truly do nothing but sit w/ baby, and that's fine. But I think most women these days are expecting the father to help out more, to have more time for themselves for things like going to the gym, taking care of other children, etc.

    Quoting GaleJ:

    I am not replying to either boast or to criticize, I am only asking because I really don't understand something about all this. Why do women feel the need to pump at all if they're not working and exclusively breastfeeding? My son was exclusively breastfeeding and I never pumped, didn't even have a pump or any bottles. I didn't have them because I planned on breastfeeding exclusively so I didn't believe I needed them. As to dads wanting to feed the baby that isn't something that worked for us, obviously, but my husband staked out his exclusive territory with our baby. He did the bedtime tuck-in which was better anyway because the baby didn't get distracted with nursing instead being put to bed.

    So I respectfully ask why those that are stay-at-home, exclusively breastfeeding mothers feel the need to pump at all?

     

     

     

     


  • kclarsh
    by kclarsh
    December 7, 2012 at 1:21 PM
    I figured that out with my third :) I am not a failure if I give a bottle. I did pump too and had to use the sns with her as she was tongue tied. As long as you try and do your best, it shouldn't matter to any one else what you do. I do love holding my babies but this one gets to cry a little longer than the ithers because I am usualyy helping one of the other 2. The words you will hear me say most is "hold on" :0)
  • Anonymous 38
    by Anonymous 38
    December 7, 2012 at 1:56 PM
    you are an idiot


    Quoting Anonymous:

     Do you read?


  • itsm3
    by itsm3
    December 7, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    CM is the only place i've heard where moms bash each other for feeding their baby "wrong" and by "wrong" i mean with a bottle.

    OP:  don't you let anyone tell you how to feed your baby.  don't you let anyone convince you that your'e not doing it right because if the needs of your baby are met - they are fed, happy, loved, safe -- then you're doing the right thing. the sanctimommies on here are asinine and the extremes that they'll go to to force their opnions as to what's best for YOUR baby is fucking ridiculous.  

    there isn't one best way to feed your baby -- the ONLY best way is how the mother feels it's best.  if you want to pump, go for it.  if you want to BF, go for it.  if you want to do both, go for it.  is breast milk "best"?  yes but formula isn't bad either.  i hate it when mothers on here will automatically insinuate that formula is poision.  my dd had both breast milk and formula and she's the most happy, brilliant, healthy, wonderful child.  it didn't wreck her digestive system, it didn't make her turn out to be a sickly, intellectually inferior child.  it didn't ruin our bond because i gave her a bottle.  i decided to pump about 3 months into BFing because dd would take two plus hours to feed.  then she would sleep for 1/2hr and do it all over again. i was literally up 24hrs a day; i was out of my mind with PPD, beyond exhausted, my nipples were absolutely shredded yet i forced myself to continue and cried to my LC  every day for weeks that things were not improving.   i was so miserable and yet, the guilt i felt for not being able to BF my baby properly was crushing me only because i was convinced by everything that i read that it's so important to BF your child to form that bond.  it was only after i talked to a friend who told me that she pumps her milk that it clicked and i realized that i can have that bond with my child with a bottle as well.  so, i switched to pumping and i my husband was over the moon now that he could participate with the feeds. 

     you need to do what you need to do.  i never wore my baby - i tried and bought every single sling/carrier on the market but she hated them all and cried more in them than out of them.  i have brand new carriers (several mai tai seahawks too and these are hella expensive) jsut sitting there collecting dust because she hated them. i put my baby down when i needed to do things, she slept in her own crib and was on a schedule by 6 months.  now, at 4 years old, she's brilliant, ahead of her class in a lot of areas, hilarious, exceling in all developmental milestones, healthy and happy.  we have a wonderful bond and she's such a well-behaved 4 year old.  my point is: however you feed them, whatever schedule you put them on etc, they will turn out fine.  you'll hear all sorts of bullshit from this site and other people, take everythign with a grain of salt and ignore the rest.

    what i learned:

    • babies change constantly.  you have to roll with the punches.
    • what worked a few months ago may stop and you have to come up with a new plan  
    • don't doubt your parenting skills.  you are your baby's mother and know your baby best.  don't let bitches on here or around you tell you how to parent your child- that includes how much you hold him, how you feed him or what schedule you put him on.
    • any "habit" a child learns can be unlearned.  if he happens to learn that he needs to sleep with a pacifier, he can unlearn that and sleep without it.  
    • kids are very resilient.  we are the ones who think they're so fragile and are often afraid to try new things.
    • kids are super adaptable... we are the ones who are afraid of change!
  • Kadosmama
    December 13, 2012 at 10:30 PM
    I did the same thing!! W my first I exclusively bfed for the first two wks until I was unsure of my supply and just needed a lil break so I supplemented w one formula.bottle a day. (2) ozs...eventually by 6 mos he was about half formula hlaf bf. With my second baby I did same thing but mostly bfed except 2 bottles formula a day until around 9 mos was half n half. It won't dry ur milk out. U will have milk as long as ur baby sucks at least once a day. My 2nd is now 19 most still b feeds but only at night. I too don't prefer to get up and make bottles at night. Lol. Glad u found that lil piece of relief in giving ur boobs a short break and giving a bottle
    There's no harm done there if that works for the two of u as a breastfeeding couple u know what's comfortable!! Good luck mama!!
  • jessica31876
    December 19, 2012 at 1:10 PM

    It was not court ordered that he received visitation. I realized several months before I had my son that the relationship with his dad was not going to work out for us but that he was the father and he deserved time to bond with his son as much as I did as the mother. So we discussed what we would do and agreed I would stay until I had our son so he could be involved in the pregnancy and the birth. We agreed that he would be able to have him on weekends from Friday evening (around 8PM)  to Sunday afternoon (around 4PM). I missed him very much during that time but I felt that him being with his dad was more important and because I formula fed my two older kids I was ok with him being formula fed. I agree breast is best but formula is an acceptable substitute for many reasons.

    Quoting Blue_Spiral:


    That's absolutely horrible.

    America simply does not understand the importance of breastfeeding and it's a tragic consequence of our ignorance, letting fathers have equal parts to mothers.

    Before the age of 4 or 5 fathers simply have no reason to have equal time. It just doesn't make biological sense.

    Idiots.


    Quoting jessica31876:

    I breastfed my son but had to share custody with his biological dad. I obviously could not bf while he was with his dad and did not pump much during that time either. My supply did not dry up at all. He was gone for two days almost every weel and his dad formula fed him. I stopped around 9 months but at that point I had started formula feeding during the day and was only breast feeding at night. What is right for one baby (or a mother) is not always going to work for the next. I also do not get the negativity I see on posts like people think their way is the only right way. While I held all three of my kids a great deal I wish now that they are older I would have held them a whole lot more. I am a grandmother now and I hold my granddaughter every single chance I get. I am sure when she becomes a teenager if I am lucky enough to be around I will have regrets of things I wish I did. As they say hindsite is 20/20. So for the author of the post just do what you feel is right for your family. Dont worry about supplementing...IMHO any breastfeeding is good even if it is not every feeding. Love your baby to the best of your abilities. Any mom who is honest is going to admit they have regrets about what they did or did not do as they look back over the years. I have three children...21, 19 and 15 and a 2 month old granddaughter.

    ETA: My middle child who WOULD be 19 was killed in a car accident. That is a major reason for many regrets I have had. I wish no parent ever would have to feel that pain. That is one thing I can tell you for sure I learned. Choose your words wisely. Always. always. always tell your kids you love them as often as you possibly can. You (and they unfortunately) are not guaranteed a tomorrow. And try not to worry about the messes they make. Your house will stay clean all the time when they are gone and believe me you will miss those messes they made when they were little.



  • workingmommy22
    December 21, 2012 at 4:29 PM

    There is NOTHING wrong with what you are doing. Don't listen to them. It's ok the bottle feed only or breast feed only or both at the same time. It's ok that you're not holding your child 24/7. I work in a daycare and the babies are sooooooo much needier when mommy is hilding them 24/7. It's healthier for the baby to be independant too. I don't even out a sling on and carry my baby when I dore housework, so you have me beat there.  :) I'm sure you're an extremely wonderful mommy, so ignore the rude people!

  • Anonymous 42
    by Anonymous 42
    December 21, 2012 at 4:30 PM
    You can't. Every bit of formula you give is that much bm you won't make.i tries doing that it ruined my bfing not to mention babies are lazy and will eventually only want the bottle.
  • brettsmomma
    December 21, 2012 at 4:31 PM
    I did both. My son was tongue tied and couldnt latch. So I pumped the best I could but it wasnt enough.
  • Anonymous 42
    by Anonymous 42
    December 21, 2012 at 4:32 PM
    And it does. Every LC I've ever met is strongly against doing both. It's pointless.


    Quoting MacensMommy228:

    Ur supply can suffer.

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