I'm just curious....does/did your dh get up with the baby at night even when he had to be at work? Ds is 5 months old and dh has gotten up once with him since he was born. The only reason he did that time was because I had been up for three days straight almost and starting weeping uncontrollably. Funny part is he was "tired" the next day and got all sorts of sympathy at work for getting up with the baby. Is this a common thing? Or did your dh pitch in?
Please excuse any typos....I'm extremely sleep deprived.
No he didn't. Not when they were babies and not now. It used to really bother me, but I guess I have just kind if accepted it. He is a good dad and a good husband, but he is not a "helping" dad / husband. I'm actually going away this weekend for a night with my mom in the city shopping. His first night alone with them ever, in 4.5 years. I can't wait for him to have 24 hours of my life, I hope it gives him a new appreciation. But, knowing him it will go smoothly, because he will just spoil them haha. He works away more than half the year, so I'm also really glad they are going to get some daddy-daughter time. I still secretly hope they wake him up all night though ;)
When he was on leave from work when our son was born. So for about a month.
He wakes up around 3:30 for work. When he gets home it's his shift. :)
by Anonymous 74
November 29, 2012 at 2:23 AM
No my son is almost 4 months old and my SO never does anything! He will change a diaper here and there if I beg but other than that I pretty much always hear him saying he's too tired or doesn't feel good or his stomach can't handle it... He's good at holding and playing with our son and that's pretty much it.
He will get up in the night if he has the next day off. He actually will do all the feeding two nights a week and if I'm really dead he will take one feeding. We have twin three year olds too so I can nap through the day. Lol
With our daughter he didn't until she was 9 months old because he worked and went to school. Working? yes. But within reason. Does he have to be at work for an early shift or a late shift? Will he get enough sleep? Am I so exhausted I can't? Etc.
My love was up all the time in the night. He worked between 50-70 hours a week for 8 months and saved PTO and vacation and sick days to take 3 weeks off of work after our son was born so that I had help and the adjustment to having the new baby was easier on both of us. Even after he went back to work, which he went back to a 40hr/wk schedule, he would get up and help. Our son had some digestive issues early, so I didn't get to nap during the day and only slept an hour or so at night. He did everything he could to help me. I also had PPD pretty bad, so he did everything he could to help me until I felt better.
I worried about this time because I have my toddler at home, so once again napping during the day isn't really going to be an option, and this time he doesn't have access to his PTO, FMLA, or vacation time yet since this is still a pretty new job. I'm sure he'll still help at night, and every chance he gets because he's pretty much the best man EVER, and I am extremely lucky to have him, but I'm still worried. He's an awesome dad, and an awesome man. He's the type that would rather buy a couple Red Bulls and truck through being tired so that he can be as involved as possible. I'm a lucky ducky.
My dh has NEVER gotten up at night with ANY of our 4 kids. I have always been a SAHM so I have always been the one to wake up with the babies, but I also slept with them during the day and would leave the house work for him to do when he got home during those first few sleepless months.
I have never asked my husband to get up with the baby at night, he works hard and needs his sleep, my job is the kids, I just work around their schedules to get things done, and sleep! now on the weekends if he is home, I'll ask him to hold, or feed, or play with our children now and then, but it still isn't often!
Same thing with SO...he never even attempted to get up because he had to work the next day. Ummm, I have to care for a newborn today, tomorrow, the next day...all when you're not here. The least you can do is let me get an hour if sleep. You dont hear, see, or smell a baby all day....I need a damn nap.
I've cried uncontrollably when both of my kids were babies due to lack of sleep. Thats what it took for him to give me an hr to sleep -___- But the next day, we were back on our normal routine. In a 7 day period, I probably slept 8 hrs with DS >.<