Mom Confessions
Sometimes I feel like some women are quick to get a divorce instead of really trying to work out their marriage.I have a friend who is contemplating a divorce and has a laundry list of complaints.All of which seem petty and workable to me?
I just feel like if a man is not beating on you or cheating you should really try before tearing apart your family.I am not saying be in a miserable marriage.I am just saying all marriages have up times and down times.My friend says that women should not stay if unhappy and should have high expectations for companionship.I say what about the kids and the constitution of marriage?For better or worse and in sickness and health?
What are your feelings on divorce and marriage?
- Only group members can vote in this poll.
- 23% - Yes,because it is her business and her right.
- 24% - No,unless of abuse or cheating
- 51% - Maybe,it depends on all the facts of the relationship
Replies
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IMO, divorce and abuse are grounds for divorce. I'm in the process of divorcing a man who CONSTANTLY cheated and was very abusive towards me. I stayed and tried to make it work for 3 years. I didn't give up easily but I finally gave up and was dragged out of the situation by my parents who refused to stand there and allow any of it to happen anymore. God bless them.
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Bump
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I can't really judge. I have definite deal breakers for my marriage, such as infidelity or abuse, but my parents have had an unhappy marriage for thirty years. My mom was always complaining that if she had to do it over, she wouldn't have married my dad. Thanks, mom, that makes me feel good about myself. It's healthier for kids to see their parents happy with their life choices.
But you also have a point, op. People are so quick to throw their marriages away. -
Who wants to be stuck in a marriage where they are unhappy? If she has tried everything to make it work, tried everything to get that "spark" and love and happiness back but it just doesn't happen......then yes, I feel a divorce is needed. Unhappy marriages can turn hostile and volatile. It's not fair to anyone in the household to be around such constant unhappiness all the time. It will do more damage to the kids (if there are kids involved) than a divorce will.
My mother and stepfather had that kind of marriage and I was lucky enough to get out of the house before it turned REALLY bad but my brother and sister were stuck in it and I cant even begin to describe what they had to go through, it was a very sad situation. They are divorced now and everyone is much happier and in better places. Divorce was the best thing.
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IMO the only reason you should devorce is because of abuse or cheating. All other reasons seem to point to two people marrying before they really knew eachother and were not mature enough. -
Depends. I had a huge list of reasons why I left and divorced my ex husband. But the #1 reason?
I just didn't like him anymore. -
Bump -
How about me? I married a passive aggressive man that lies and cheats. Oh and blames me for it. So google PA and let me know how I could try harder when trying only makes it worse. When nothing I do helps. When he refuses to admit there's a problem.
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For me? Abuse or cheating
I can't judge what's right for someone else though -
I have always heard that it is the 3 A's - Abuse, Addition, Adultery. In my case I was married for 15 years to a raging alchoholic. I probably would have stayed married to him if not for my son, because he was not abusive in any way, and I loved him. But alcoholism is a progresive disease and he refused all help. He withdrew from us and drank more and more, and seeing the kind of life I was giving my son, I decided I had to leave. I do think people divorce for shallow reasons and don't really live their vows. The other thing I would say is that if you ask people that have been married a long time, every marriage has periods of unhappiness, doubt, but you can work through it, it will pass and you will find yourself even more in love with this man you committed your life to.