Mom Confessions

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Anonymous
Stop blaming your parents! You're an adult now!
by Anonymous
November 20, 2012 at 7:38 PM

This is a popular saying round these parts. I'm just wondering does it go both ways? Would you feel guilty or responsible for bad choices your children make once they become adults? For arguments sake, let's say that you are 67 years old. You have 5 adult children.

The oldest is mentally ill and can not live on his own.

The second oldest lives on her own, but has never been happy in life. Most likely she has an undiagnosed personality disorder.

Next one in line has never been able to be financially responsible. She's had 7 abortions that you know of, and your grand daughter has had two already at the age of 19. Her home is currently in the process of foreclosure.

The next one is a doormat.

Then the baby of the family has a learning disability. She never made it through high school and is now unemployed.

All children have spent thousands in therapy.

So what do you think? As a mom would you feel guilty or responsible for any of those things or is it their jobs as adults to compensate for your shortcomings as a parent?

If they were you kids, would you feel guilty
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 70% - yes
  2. 12% - no
  3. 17% - undecided.

Replies

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 20, 2012 at 7:41 PM

    bump

  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    November 20, 2012 at 7:42 PM
    *their
  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    November 20, 2012 at 7:43 PM

    I give my kids the knowledge and upbringing they need in order to succeed in life. Its up to them to use it as a tool to make something of themselves. My mother was and still is slack. She's just now getting a place after being homeless for 3 years and my father abandoned us when I was 5. Out of the 5 kids they had, one grew up to be a chemist, then another a teacher, me a RN, and the two younger are barely making it. I made something of myself because I didnt want to be like my mother. I made that choice. 

  • wilesmomma
    November 20, 2012 at 7:44 PM
    Of course I would, I'm their mother. I'll always try to blame myself in some way of their short comings even if it's not my fault.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 20, 2012 at 7:44 PM


    Quoting Anonymous:

    *their

    ooh, thanks. I missed that.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 20, 2012 at 7:46 PM


    Quoting Anonymous:

    I give my kids the knowledge and upbringing they need in order to succeed in life. Its up to them to use it as a tool to make something of themselves. My mother was and still is slack. She's just now getting a place after being homeless for 3 years and my father abandoned us when I was 5. Out of the 5 kids they had, one grew up to be a chemist, then another a teacher, me a RN, and the two younger are barely making it. I made something of myself because I didnt want to be like my mother. I made that choice. 

    But that is all relative. Every one of this woman's kids has done far better than their mother.

  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    November 20, 2012 at 7:46 PM
    It sounds like the family has a history of mental illness which is a mixture of environment and genetics. I'd feel guilty.
  • mrsbrand
    November 20, 2012 at 7:46 PM
    I would feel guilty but its ridiculous to blame your parents for who you are as an adult. I am who I am because of me. At the end of the day Iam responsible for my own actions and decisions.
  • Anonymous 5
    by Anonymous 5
    November 20, 2012 at 7:47 PM

    That is a very specific situation with all of the children having very compromising problems....

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    November 20, 2012 at 7:47 PM

    the two youngest arent. They are barely making it. 

    Quoting Anonymous:


    Quoting Anonymous:

    I give my kids the knowledge and upbringing they need in order to succeed in life. Its up to them to use it as a tool to make something of themselves. My mother was and still is slack. She's just now getting a place after being homeless for 3 years and my father abandoned us when I was 5. Out of the 5 kids they had, one grew up to be a chemist, then another a teacher, me a RN, and the two younger are barely making it. I made something of myself because I didnt want to be like my mother. I made that choice. 

    But that is all relative. Every one of this woman's kids has done far better than their mother.


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