by Tara922cNovember 20, 2012 at 8:40 AM
I would have no problem asking my older dd (when she is old enough) to watch my younger child (if we ever have one) if I was running to the grocery store or another errand and wouldn't be gone long. I probably wouldn't ask, I would tell her, "I need you to watch your brother/sister while I run to the store." If dh and I needed a weekend night babysitter, I would ask dd to do it and pay her as if she was a babysitter I hired. I think it crosses the line when the younger child becomes the older child's responsibility, for example, the teenager has to spend every weekend at home watching the "kids" while mom and/or dad goes out on the town, or the teenager can never go anywhere after school because he/she is responsible to get the kids off the bus and watch them until mom/dad get home from work.
Being said, families should work together. I understand that sometimes it is out of necessity that the older kid watches the younger kid. I would still try to pay my dd something. My aunt paid me 30 bucks a week to get my little cousin off the bus and watch him for a few hours. Back when I was 14/15, I thought I was rich. I was a horrible babysitter though. I didn't really "watch him" I turned on the TV and went about my business. It would be a last resort before I required an older child to watch a younger child.
haha, childhood snatched away because you're teaching your kids responsibility by having them watch your kids? Why hire a young kid when you can have your own young kid watch them? Isn't it the same, aren't you snatching the childhood away from the young babysitter you're hiring??! That's so stupid.
and my parents shouldn't have had the kids they did because they couldn't always afford a sitter? Another stupid comment. When my sister was old enough, she became the babysitter. There was no need to hire one to watch the younger kids, since my older sister was going to be home anyway. Pretty sure none of feel our childhood was snatched away because we were asked to babysit a couple times
by ThelmamaNovember 20, 2012 at 8:42 AM
In your situation I understand the resentment. I think on occasion is one thing but all the time is another. Could they afford a babysitter? Just asking for clarification. I think you had way too much watching your siblings. I think that is not okay. They could have worked something out for your sake too.
I had to watch my brother everyday, 12-14 hr days from ages 13-18. I hate my parents for doing that to me! I couldnt be in any clubs in school, cheerlead or even get a part time job because I always had to watch my brother. What about me!? Why did I have to lose my childhood over him?
It's called helping out with the family (it's called pulling your own weight, and if they are old enough to babysit it's a lesson the need to learn). It's also called teaching responsibility. And She gets an allowance so she IS paid. You are an idiot. So... my daughter lives a sad life because she watches her siblings while I go to the grocery store or run a couple errands once or twice a week? She should get all of he time to herself and have no responsibility? Should I pull her out of school too?
PFT! She's happy she has money to spend on whatever she wants (that she actually earned). And her siblings (and she) are happier because we don't invite a stranger (who knows nothing about them or their routines and needs) into our home to care for them. I KNOW my daughter is going to care for her sisters because she loves them. I cannot say the same of a stranger.
My "child who's childhood I am stealing"? She is an honor roll student in all accelerated classes, sits first chair clarinet in band, is extremely active in our church's youth group (I could go on but you get the point). Oh... AND, this is important so pay attention: SHE ALREADY KNOWS SHE DOES NOT WANT CHILDREN UNTIL SHE IS OLDER AND MARRIED, because, and I quote her here, "children are a lot of work, and I want to do my own thing first."
Shame on me for teaching my daughter such invaluble life lessons!!! SHAME! Wish I'd had someone around to teach them to me actually....
I forgot... this nation is all about raising self-involved, self-entitled BRATS....
It teaches responsibility, dependability and accountability. Its an excellent experience to be a teen and be in charge for an hour or two. I have a friend who regularly has her sixteen year old tend to her four younger siblings. That is the most level headed responsible teenager I can think of, other than my neighbors daughter who sits for us on occassion.
by Anonymous 33November 20, 2012 at 8:49 AMI seriously don't think my 15 yo, 13 yo and 8 yo staying home while I grocery shop is snatching anyone's child hood. I'm guessing you are talking about a regular expectation of babysitting
by Anonymous 34November 20, 2012 at 8:54 AM
families are supposed to help each other out and part of being a kid is learning a little responsibility and not always getting what you want in the best interests of ALL members of that family.
i dont have kids old enough to babysit but what is wrong with asking them to pitch in to make the family succeed? i really don't see helping out sometimes as a bad thing.
now if you're talking the kid has to go to school then come home and watch sibs, cook dinner, and put the sibs to bed? ok that's extreme but i've never heard of too many real life families where that's the case.
November 20, 2012 at 8:58 AM
I don't see anything wrong with it when it's only an occasional thing. But if its daily or almost ever day the. Yes it is a problem. My mother made me watch my siblings 5-6 days a week. In some ways I am greatful, I mean I learned how to do everything. It was so often that I had to start correcting my little sister because she would try to call me mama. But I resent it, especially the few times that they knew I was saving up for something and they would offer to pay me five bucks for ten hours. Then they wouldn't pay me "because we are family and I was an older sibling it was my job to watch them" while they went out.