Mom Confessions
1. Abe Lincoln was shot?!
2. I could watch toilet water for days.
3. I CAN'T DRAW A STRAIGHT CIRCLE!!
4. Te Amo Dos
5. Will they stay dead long?
6. Mexico's connected?!
7. That is why we don't play in concentration camps!!!
8. Pearl Harbor ISN'T in New York?!
9. Sometimes I pretend I'm drowning.
10. When is cinco de mayo?
11. Apparently everyone slept last night.
12. If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? (Valid question)
13. They killed Jesus and he was a likable guy.
14. I gotta see what's wrong with my tire it's leaking air.
I shit you not these were really said!!
Replies
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That hickies cause cancer... ugh
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My high school English teacher in response to the seniors at my school causing some kind of problem on a trip :
"y'all shouldve KNEWN you can't take them Ehret (name of my school) chirren no damn where " -
ok I went to the bank one time asking what I need to do so I can wire some money from Switzerland(my parents live there) to USA.. This lady looked at me and said: Ok what STATE is that??? (maybe its one of obamas 57 states..
Person: oohh you grew up in Switzerland? How nice. I have been to stockholm too.. (stockholm is not in switzerland but in Sweden..) this poor guy was talking for 20min until I finally said something
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"did you ride a camel to school?"
This is from a friend after I moved to the U.S. when I was 10 from Israel -
LOL. The dumbest thing I've ever heard was my aunt saying there's a train that goes over the Grapevine in California, she knows because they have to make a huge loop and build up steam to get over it. FWIW, no train lol.
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People often come to Houston and are amazed that we're a big city and that we don't ride to school on horses.
Once, I was at a party in the country and some guy from NY was there. He read my shirt and asked what it meant. When we told him it meant beautiful in French, he looked at me and said, "Oh, I didn't know they spoke other languages here."
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My mil told me that the government controls the weather. -
Someone wanted to know if people with dark skin rub off on toilets. She had a black homeless man staying with her and she said every time he used the toilet there was brown on it. She was dead serious. The guy she asked said, "Do your freckles rub off on the toilet when you use it? It sounds like the homeless man staying with you just needs to wash his ass."
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Haha! Although #14 is a fair statement...