Mom Confessions
1. Abe Lincoln was shot?!
2. I could watch toilet water for days.
3. I CAN'T DRAW A STRAIGHT CIRCLE!!
4. Te Amo Dos
5. Will they stay dead long?
6. Mexico's connected?!
7. That is why we don't play in concentration camps!!!
8. Pearl Harbor ISN'T in New York?!
9. Sometimes I pretend I'm drowning.
10. When is cinco de mayo?
11. Apparently everyone slept last night.
12. If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? (Valid question)
13. They killed Jesus and he was a likable guy.
14. I gotta see what's wrong with my tire it's leaking air.
I shit you not these were really said!!
Replies
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oh that reminds me of one. after reading the book in class. "Wait Anne Frank is a real person"
Quoting morrigan914:
The Holocaust? That had something to do with Jews, right? -
I LOLd at 13
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" my husband has never looked at porn" LOL...poking fun at last night's discussion
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oh i can give you a whole list of stupid questions we used to get asked by clients in my business that would knock you down . (i was a vet tech for over 20 years).
one of my favorites. How long would it take a dog to die if it was bitten by a non poisonous snake?
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Lmao really?!
Quoting fairyjester:
oh i can give you a whole list of stupid questions we used to get asked by clients in my business that would knock you down . (i was a vet tech for over 20 years).
one of my favorites. How long would it take a dog to die if it was bitten by a non poisonous snake?
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When i was preggo with my son my grandpa looked at me with a serious face and asked 'do you know what caused this?' -
Quoting lovelife350:
1. in high school we were reading of Mice and Men. we were on the last chapter talking about it in class and this girl goes " OMG he handicap , i thought he was just stupid" O_O we were on like the last ten pages
2. Who are the beatles, is that a band?
3. teacher and i were talking about the rolling stones , girl sitting next to me " thats a band, i thought it was just a magizine.
4. talking with my ex ( boyfriend at the time) He didn't know that all cows were female. he went on a rant about how that wasn't true . WOW can you tell why i dumped him haha
I was at a feed store one time and there was a big sign advertising Male Roosters.
i was so tempted to ask why they didnt have any female roosters.
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One of the guys I went to high school with said that mothers had the God given right to do anything they wanted to their own children including beating, raping or murdering them and they should not be prosecuted for it.
He's a doctor now. That still scares me.
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That guys and girls can be just friends. One always falls for the other, always. And if you don't know it yet you will one day.
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Oh, I have a funny one too.
I was dating this guy and he was going fishing with his brother so I made them sandwiches. He walked into the kitchen and said they looked really good and then he completely lost his shit when I cut one of them in half. He started screaming about how he wanted to take them with him and I was a fucking moron because now there was no way to put them in the sandwich bag.
I just stared at him for a moment and dropped one half of a sandwich into a sandwich bag, dropped the other half in with, sealed it up and handed it to him. He went silent and then said thoughtfully, "I never knew you could do that."
We didn't last long after that.