My cousin, who is like a brother to me, got his heart ripped out when he caught his wife cheating over a year ago. He has been trying to find her for divorce reasons but she keeps dodging the papers. Well this morning I get a friend request from her. I click on it to Reject it and find shes pregnant!
I text my cousin like wtf? And he said "yea, she's been asking all my cousin's who are moms for support, she probably just wants to ask you questions. She doesn't know you know what happened. But feel free to tell her where to shove it"
So I messaged her that I have no intrest in her pregnancy but especially not in her and not to contact me again. I then blocked her.
How messed up is that? Would you reach out to your Exs family?
Well, a couple possibilities. One - Nothing in the story indicated he wasn't the father of the child except him saying he wasn't - no dna test was mentioned and men do lie about paternity on occasion. Two - I would not assume that everyone who knew or was related to my ex, especially if they had been kind to me in the past, was now all people I was not allowed to even ask a question of. That's a little childish to do to someone anyway. If you're someone's friend while they're married it isn't really mature to refuse to talk to them just because they got divorced.
This is the rule I follow - even if I am friends with someone, even if I am related to someone, that doesn't mean their version of their ex is totally true. Usually the truth lies somewhere between each ex's version of the truth. Much of the time exes aren't really lying, they're just telling you in a very emotionally charged way, how it looked to them.
I would not cut her off unless I carefully separated out what was said about her, from how she treated me, and I was reasonably confindant I had examined ONLY how she treated me apart from anything that was said about her.
In other words, just because he is related to you or your friend, doesn't mean everything about her is true or that his POV is the only POV. I've stuck by many friends who got divorced or had a baby as a single mom. If I wouldn't exclude them from my Nice List for that as a friend, I wouldn't exclude an ex of a relative or friend for the same issues.
I see no evidence that your cousin is not the father. Perhaps his word, but clearly infedelity occurs in that relationship. He may just not want to admit it. And just because she has a pic with another man tagged in it doesn't mean a damned thing.
I would have made contact and attempted to get her address or phone number for the purpose of serving her.
Heck no... I'm trying to distance myself from them! ExSIL keeps texting me & I keep ignoring her. Then she messaged me on FB. I am not replying to her. I know she just wants to know what to get the kids for christmas but I am not the one to ask. She needs to ask her brother. And if he doesn't know then he can ask them! I'm tired of being nice.
November 17, 2012 at 9:00 AM
i am grandma to all my sons exgirlfreinds babies the rule in this house is if they were apart of my life for years i dont stop loving them cuase my son and them broke up hes actually godfather to a couple of them i know it sounds crazy but it works for us most of the girls are freinds with each other now also