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We can't bring it up. If I talk about it he is leaving me.... Third update added
by Anonymous
November 14, 2012 at 3:42 PM
Ok so Monday a little before noon I got an email from AT&T. It was the second time I received this same email! So I took a little more notice. It said that there was an unusually high volume of texts coming from one of our four lines. They wanted to make sure my line had not been crossed with another. So I start looking online at the bill. BIG FUCK UP ON MY PART! Turns out it was the hubby's phone. Now mind you on Monday while I was looking at the bill I didn't suspect anything! We just had a baby 2 weeks ago and he had been home with me for over 2 weeks. He wasn't acting any stranger than usual or anything.

So looking at the bill I do see ALOT of texts between him and one number in particular. However I thought it was a friend of ours. A male friend. Him and his wife have been in our lives for over a year now. So I ignored THAT number and kept going. Writing down every number I didn't recognize so I could ask him about them. Well after noticing a pattern of Monday-Friday 7am-11am and 12pm-4pm and nights after about 9 I started getting confused.

So I put the number into my phone. ANOTHER BIG MISTAKE! Her name came up. Not her husbands.

A little history here: Hubby and him worked together. in July he moved in with us for a month because they were having problems. It only lasted a month because he started missing her and wanting to see his daughter more and so on and so on. I encouraged him to give it another try with her. Well he did and it worked out for the better. GREAT! Well then he switched jobs. So he wasn't coming over nearly as much. She never really came over. The only time I would see him was on lunch and when he was waiting for her to get off of work. Well about 6 weeks ago I was put in the hospital. I was 33 weeks pregnant and my preeclampsia got really bad. I was transferred to another hospital 2 hours away because they thought we would have to deliver early. Well out of the blue she starts texting me. And I was weirded out by it because we had never really talked and I don't get along with females that great. A have bad experiences. Well I said something to hubbs about it and he was like oh just give her a chance. Maybe she is worried about you. Blah blah blah. So I talked to her occasionally. Well then I had ds2 on the first. While I was in the hospital my other 2 kiddos were sick and no one was wanting to deal with them. At least that's the story I got so he had to come home with the kids while I was in the hospital after having a very difficult labor that resulted in having an emergency c section. Baby's heart rate dropped really low my blood pressure dropped had to have blood transfusions just all kinds of crap. Now he was there for all of that but left about an hour after I had the baby.

Now back to Monday: I was instantly losing my mind. So I called him. MISTAKE #3. First I calmly asked if he was talking to her. He asked who told me that! WTF REALLY! So I blew up! And he told me that they had been fighting and she ha been asking for advice and shit! BULLSHIT! So I asked if her husband knew. And he says of course he knows I wouldn't go behind my friends back blah blah blah. Ok yeah BUH-BYE! And I called her. No mistake here. And I asked her why the fuck she was talking to MY husband. And I get the same answer. Oh they are having problems and she thought hubbs could talk to him and yeah. So i ask her. Does your husband know. Yeah he knows. Why wouldn't he know! Ok BUH-BYE! I instantly calle him!! Wanted to make sure they didn't have time to call him. He answered not knowing who I was. After I told him he was like hang on she is calling I said no dot answer I have something to ask you before she has time to lie to you. Caught his attention!! I asked if he knew they were talking. No. Are you sure? Well was it just a text or 2? So I told him about the email, took a picture of the computer screen so he could see. So on and so on. So we get off the phone and hubbs calls me back and asks if I called her husband. YEAH! DUH! And he goes off why did you tell him he's gonna kick my ass why would you do that I can't believe this. And then he says he has to go. That's it. Well I start looking more into the phone bills.

MISTAKE #4: So I am looking at the phone bill from oct 8th to Nov 7th. They talked NONSTOP! And 1 night in particular. The first. The night I was alone in the hospital. Well I asked his sister about not wanting to watch my kids. She said well I didn't say I wouldn't watch them I just told my brother they were fussing and I wanted to know what kind if meds to give them. And he came and got them. Well there was 16 picture messages and about 300 texts between them from the time he left the hospital and about 3 in the morning.

I think that's the part that hurts the most.

Continuing on through the bills. The beginning of oct he was on a job (oilfield worker) an he supposedly didn't have any service. Lets just say we didn't talk much for those 5 days. He talked to her nonstop.

And moving on further. They have been talking since her husband moved out!! And I fended for the dirty bitch! Ugh!

Ok well let me say I love my husband. I have a new baby and 2 toddlers. I am a stay at home mom. And have severe depression. There is no way in hell I can do it alone. Plain and simple. And I don't want to do it alone. We have been together for 5 years. I don't want that to just go down the drain. I don't want to lose something I love. I love my life. All of it. My husband. My kids. My shitty house. My car that will crap out soon. The fact that we aren't rich but we have everything we need. Maybe not all we want. But certainly everything we need. It's amazing that with him, I haven't had to take meds for my depression. I mean there are days where I get frustrated and a little bit distracted but I haven't had to take meds! It's an awesome feeling.

So I am instantly drawn into that familiar depression. And I don't want anyone to know because I have worked hard on the image we portray. The couple that never fights. Now don't get me wrong it's not often but I hate when couples let everyone know all of their business ya know. So anyways. I text him and told him I wanted to work things out. That I don't want this to be the end. That if he was ok we would get through it.

So he gets off and I messed up again. MISTAKE #5. I said I wanted to work it out but I couldn't help myself. I started asking questions. And I mean I really want to know but I guess I should t have gone off about it like I did. And I guess it kinda hit him he was crying and stuff. I don't know. I don't know if I care. It's like you hurt me and here I am still worried that I am hurting you. But he wouldn't answer any of my questions. Except when I asked him if they had sex. He said no. And I asked if he loved her. He said no. He wouldn't answer me when I asked if he cared about her. Or is he going to miss not talking to her. He just kept saying I don't know. I don't know. I hate that!

I will tell the rest in a few I need to be a mom for a little bit!!

First added extra comments page 1

Second add comments page 5
Third add comments page 7


  • Anonymous 2
    by Anonymous 2
    November 14, 2012 at 3:51 PM

    So it's clear you love him, you don't want to lose everything you have with him... but honey, why stay with a man who clearly doesn't love you? 

    If he loved you, he wouldn't hurt you, plain and simple! Do yourself a favor and do better for yourself and the innocent babies who deserve only the best! 

    I have been in your situation... and I forgave and thought I was making the best choice by staying... but guess what? It happened again.. and again.. Truth was, he had no respect or care for me.. until he got caught! :(  Don't be like me... it's not worth it... 

  • Anonymous 3
    by Anonymous 3
    November 14, 2012 at 3:54 PM
    You lost me long time ago, but good luck!
  • owl0210
    by owl0210
    November 14, 2012 at 3:57 PM

    He's a liar and totally banging her. You deserve so much better and I hope you find the strength to leave his dirty rotten cheating ass.  

  • Aamy
    by Aamy
    November 14, 2012 at 3:57 PM
    So you're willing to stay with a cheater and be used as a door mat? The fact that he was talking to her and not with YOU and your new child, should tell you how little he cares.
  • jb0520
    by jb0520
    November 14, 2012 at 4:00 PM
    I am so sorry!!! I can't believe he would do this and considering you JUST had a baby makes him an extra big d-bag!!!
  • LiesLiesLies
    November 14, 2012 at 4:01 PM

    You allow this and it is just going to keep happening.

    He clearly loves her.

    Unfortunately I think he is going to leave you for her and I think you should prepare yourself for that.


    Quoting owl0210:

    He's a liar and totally banging her. You deserve so much better and I hope you find the strength to leave his dirty rotten cheating ass.  

  • PhoenixsMommy10
    November 14, 2012 at 4:02 PM

    I don't know of any man that would spend HOURS talking to a woman if he wasn't in love with her or having sex with her.

    Quoting owl0210:

    He's a liar and totally banging her. You deserve so much better and I hope you find the strength to leave his dirty rotten cheating ass.  

  • Shermy
    by Shermy
    November 14, 2012 at 4:04 PM

    Troll? Please? Please be trolling?

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 4:07 PM
    So I didn't know whether or not to believe him about them not having sex. So I kinda tested him a little. I didn't tell him that I had looked that far into the bills. And I asked him how long they had been talking. He answered truthfully. I asked about the big job when he was gone a whole week. I aske about the night we had the baby. He was honest about all of it. Really uncomfortable talking about it but honest.

    Then he said it. He wanted to take 'time.'

    I instantly am shocked. Does he want her? Does he not want me? Does he not love me? Does he love her and he just isn't admitting it?

    And I calmly told him that if he didn't stay and try to work things out with me it was over. I understand he made a mistake but I'm not gonna give him a chance to see if he has feelings for her.

    So I start packing some clothes for the kids. Thinking what an i gonna do? do i mean it? it was spur of the moment. I love him. Why is he doin this to me? how the hell am I gonna tell my grandma that me and my husband aren't together? Is this really the end? Is it because he wants her?
  • Anonymous 4
    by Anonymous 4
    November 14, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    Quoting PhoenixsMommy10:


    I don't know of any man that would spend HOURS talking to a woman if he wasn't in love with her or having sex with her.

    Quoting owl0210:

    He's a liar and totally banging her. You deserve so much better and I hope you find the strength to leave his dirty rotten cheating ass.  

    Both of these. I'm sorry but its the truth.

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