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Anonymous
Are dads held to the same standards as moms?
by Anonymous
November 14, 2012 at 9:14 AM
It seems on here that they are not. If she expects him to help out at all, she is lazy. If she gets no free time and gets pissed that he does, she is a clingy bitch. If she does go out, she is a bad mom. If he is sick and vomitting all over the place, she is cold for not waiting on him (and the kids) hand and foot. If she is sick and still has to work and care for the kids she "is a mom and needs to do it". So on and so on. Why do we hold moms to higher standards then dads when dad helped create the child/ren as well. Now I understand women are amazing and can handle way more then men ;) but why do we just let them get away with these things. Marriage and parenting takes teamwork and both the man and woman should be team players in the match called life. Am I the only one to notice this double standard? What do you think?



Thought of another example I saw on reddit during the cafemom blackout. Dad is a frivolous spender putting the family in a hole so mom should get a job to make up the difference instead of dad controlling his spending.
or if dads half ass it when they help. If mom takes a kid to the store barefoot while its cold or forgets to bathe the child, she is a bad mom. If dad does it, well people are just being picky. Why is it ok for a dad to half ass parenting?

Replies

  • Mamasgirl524
    November 14, 2012 at 9:15 AM
    Good question! And I agree.
  • owl0210
    by owl0210
    November 14, 2012 at 9:16 AM

     I've never seen so many women haters prior to joining cafemom.

  • 702girly
    November 14, 2012 at 9:16 AM

    There is no double standard in my house. 

    I just laugh when I see it on here. It must suck to be them.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 9:17 AM
    I know! Lol

    Quoting owl0210:

     I've never seen so many women haters prior to joining cafemom.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 14, 2012 at 9:17 AM
    its all in the child labor moment, well thats my view on this...men are all different just like women. we have some good parents and we have some bad once. we just never really know who until the child is here.
  • ashleyrenee24
    November 14, 2012 at 9:18 AM

    I agree with you.

  • LectioDivina
    November 14, 2012 at 9:19 AM

    Well... I do believe that the bond between mother and child is incomparable, and that instinctively we are the one that are supposed to care for the child as the main caregiver

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 9:23 AM
    Honestly, I agree with that but does that mean that dad can do whatever he wants?

    Quoting LectioDivina:

    Well... I do believe that the bond between mother and child is incomparable, and that instinctively we are the one that are supposed to care for the child as the main caregiver

  • LectioDivina
    November 14, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    No... If we're going by instincts it's the dad's job to keep the family safe, get the food, and nurture the children once they get old enough to follow his lead when learning how to survive in this world

    Quoting Anonymous:

    Honestly, I agree with that but does that mean that dad can do whatever he wants?

    Quoting LectioDivina:

    Well... I do believe that the bond between mother and child is incomparable, and that instinctively we are the one that are supposed to care for the child as the main caregiver


  • Matriarch87
    November 14, 2012 at 9:28 AM
    I can only speak for myself but for me its because my husband doesnt do things how I like and its important to me it get done how I want. So when he does help I have to act all appreciative but my ears are on fire because I cannot believe he chose that pair of socks to dress my son in, I cant believe he fed him that for breakfast, I cant believe he didnt comb his hair, I cant believe he didnt pack a blanket...for examples. I used to try to teach him but he would get all offended and say im too picky or over reacting, maybe he is right. So id keep my mouth shut and mentally tell myself to do it next time.



    He has no fashion sense and is incable of dressing my son nicely.



    He never knows where anything is at and sewms unable to plan an hour in the future.



    I dont mind him helping me clean at all but thats the one area he doesnt like helping with. Everything else I just hate how he does it...mommy knows best.



    Even baths! He always "forgets" to clip my sons nails and doesnt shampoo him good enough.



    But there are certainly a few things he can do right and I give him responsibilities regarding parenting and the house. Just not many.



    Ive never left my husband with my son longer than a night because im scared my son will go to preschool looking like a fool, or eat spaghetti for breakfast, or wear shoes that are too small.

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