Mom Confessions

Anonymous
i need advice...how long could you stay in this marriage?
by Anonymous
November 14, 2012 at 2:48 AM
So I read another post asking how involved is your husband.
A lot of the women said 50/50
well I'll say like 25% of the time he helps but I really have to force him to help. If I ask him to change a diaper I have to get the diaper and wipes and take my son to him. I could just change it myself!!!! He doesn't clean or discipline the kids but man can he ignore them and tune into that tv. He works but it seems like he takes advantage of me because of it. He forces me to hand wash and line dry the clothes and that pissed me off. He would rather put the extra money into football polls than give me the money for laundry. He forces me to beg for diapers because he's careless with the bills and money. My name is so in debt because of him. Tomorrow he has to be to work early so I have to stay up til 4 am to wake him up because hes afraid he will over sleep.

**Anyway with all that he does would you leave this man? Or can you relate? How long would you work on a marriage like this before you called it quits? I don't work so I feel stuck! I will be leaving but I just wonder how long you personally could stay in this marriage and how long you would "try"? I want to feel like I have done everything I can to make it work.

More info in first reply

Replies

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 2:50 AM
    we've been together 7 years married 5 I'd say it wasnt as bad in the beginning. But we bonded because my family didn't like him and there was a lot of drama the first few years.,I guess they saw something I didn't.
    So when my daughter was born he was very attached to her and really over protected of her even with me. But I worked and it was my excape. He did the whole showing up to my work and constantly calling they dropped my hours and he convinced me to quit. I got a new job again my excape. He did the same thing thoughinterupting me at work getting me into trouble. But he wasn't mean or overly controlling I just got the feeling he didn't trust me. Kind of how a parent checks up on a child. When I would talk to my coworkers they all said I was crazy he just checks up on me cause he loves me.
    Anyway so I had my second child and we decided for me to stay home instead of return to work because of child care and he was out of town for work a lot. With my son my husband did not bond with him atall. He didn't want to hold him. We went to counseling it seemed to be better. We went out of town with him where he was working. It was close to the beach it was a lot of fun. Like a 2 month long vacation. But we still fought but I tried to keep everything under control and do what he wanted because his co workers were always around. When we returned home we were not able to go with him the next time. I really enjoyed him being gone. I could do what I wanted and didn't have to ask permission.
    When he came back he got to stay in town and he had his work truck taken so he uses my car so I'm stuck at home every day. Then they dropped his hours and took 2 dollars away. I know his attitude and assholeness comes from his crap job but we are his family why take it out on us.

    He refuses to cut cable down to basics or reduce our cell phones we go more and more into debt each month. Right now we are behind in rent. I have no access to ny money. Idont have a car or baby sitter so I can't get a job. There are also things like his gambling and my depression but I've tried my best. I feel I should of left years ago. But there was always a reason for every thing so I felt guilty for wanting to leave like how can I leave when he needs me? He needs my car to provide for his children what would he do ect...?Idk.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 14, 2012 at 2:50 AM

    I would leave...I could not be with a man who cared more about himself then his own family

  • mommyof11050307
    November 14, 2012 at 2:51 AM
    He would be gone. I don't beg for anything and I sure as hell wouldn't be washing cloths by hand.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 2:51 AM
    There is more if you have a question that would help you to better answer my question just ask
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 2:52 AM
    He has two faces though to anyone else he would have you believing that he is a great dad/husband.


    Quoting Anonymous:

    I would leave...I could not be with a man who cared more about himself then his own family


  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 2:54 AM
    Its really degrading. I want to be able to give my kids everything but I find myself begging for diapers, Christmas presents and clothes for them. It's so depressing


    Quoting mommyof11050307:

    He would be gone. I don't beg for anything and I sure as hell wouldn't be washing cloths by hand.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 2:56 AM
    Bump
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 3:03 AM
    Bump
  • MochaBerry24
    November 14, 2012 at 3:03 AM

    sounds like you already have your answer. 

  • GirlWSemiAuto
    November 14, 2012 at 3:04 AM
    Have you considered just standing up to him and getting a job? Can you be more assertive?

Mom Confessions