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Anonymous
i need advice...how long could you stay in this marriage?
by Anonymous
November 14, 2012 at 2:48 AM
So I read another post asking how involved is your husband.
A lot of the women said 50/50
well I'll say like 25% of the time he helps but I really have to force him to help. If I ask him to change a diaper I have to get the diaper and wipes and take my son to him. I could just change it myself!!!! He doesn't clean or discipline the kids but man can he ignore them and tune into that tv. He works but it seems like he takes advantage of me because of it. He forces me to hand wash and line dry the clothes and that pissed me off. He would rather put the extra money into football polls than give me the money for laundry. He forces me to beg for diapers because he's careless with the bills and money. My name is so in debt because of him. Tomorrow he has to be to work early so I have to stay up til 4 am to wake him up because hes afraid he will over sleep.

**Anyway with all that he does would you leave this man? Or can you relate? How long would you work on a marriage like this before you called it quits? I don't work so I feel stuck! I will be leaving but I just wonder how long you personally could stay in this marriage and how long you would "try"? I want to feel like I have done everything I can to make it work.

More info in first reply

Replies

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 14, 2012 at 4:38 AM

    I'd probably take a serious look at my list of why I fell in love with him.

    I know some ladies who love to do this sort of thing, to be his everything. I enjoy helping him where he falls short. But I wouldn't stick around if he's just lazy and controlling. If my reasons for loving him are worth it, I'd probably see about changing things first and see how that goes. Careless with bills and money? I'd tell him I'm tired of the debt and I'll manage the funds. If he has a problem with it - too bad. You're having a problem with it too. He demands you to wake him up - set an alarm for yourself and then wake him up. From there it's his problem - not yours.

    But, really, I'm very stubborn. So is DH. We took our vows pretty darn seriously and are on the same page about making things work. So, myself, I'd try to take control of what I felt needed fixed. Usually DH lets me try, so I don't know what I'd say if he told me no. I guess if I was met with refusal and I felt he wasn't the guy I originally married, I'd probably say forget it and pack up and leave to somewhere I felt more useful and loved.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 14, 2012 at 5:12 AM
    And i thought mines was worse because he dont gotta lift a finger once he gets home lol....
    My DH i thought him to be responsible with bills, working, and help me with the kids unless i really need it or theres an emergency and i cant be around.
    Dh doesn't like changing pampers if it gots poop but i know he will do it unless im not there.
  • DamianaFire
    November 14, 2012 at 6:33 AM
    I could/would not be with anyone that didn't respect ne and our children. I'd be gone... And NEVER go back.
  • Mamasgirl524
    November 14, 2012 at 6:35 AM
    Damn I think I'd rather be with a cheater.
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 14, 2012 at 6:36 AM

    Dude, I would have had all this shit worked out before I married the tool.

  • notjstasocermom
    November 14, 2012 at 6:39 AM

    how does he force you to hand wash something? and i see nothing wrong with hang drying something. 

    anyway no i would not leave him i would communicate what i need, and i mean talk not nag. most men don't help out more cause their wives are bitchy. try being nice.

  • momto3B
    by momto3B
    November 14, 2012 at 6:40 AM

    Unless you think he had a stroke and is a very different man then the one your married, I would start getting my ducks in order to get a a divorce asap. He sounds like a caveman. 

    DO NOT TELL HIM. His is too arrogant and selfish to think you would ever leave. Speak to an attorney, get a job if you don't already have one, and start putting together your exit strategy. 

  • insanemomof4
    November 14, 2012 at 6:40 AM
    This

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I would leave...I could not be with a man who cared more about himself then his own family

  • mommy_2_be_2010
    November 14, 2012 at 6:42 AM
    Leave
  • Syphon
    by Syphon
    November 14, 2012 at 6:42 AM

     My husband travels about 50% of the year and is 100% more involved than that.  And...you are married.  You should not have to ask for money.

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