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Anonymous
i need advice...how long could you stay in this marriage?
by Anonymous
November 14, 2012 at 2:48 AM
So I read another post asking how involved is your husband.
A lot of the women said 50/50
well I'll say like 25% of the time he helps but I really have to force him to help. If I ask him to change a diaper I have to get the diaper and wipes and take my son to him. I could just change it myself!!!! He doesn't clean or discipline the kids but man can he ignore them and tune into that tv. He works but it seems like he takes advantage of me because of it. He forces me to hand wash and line dry the clothes and that pissed me off. He would rather put the extra money into football polls than give me the money for laundry. He forces me to beg for diapers because he's careless with the bills and money. My name is so in debt because of him. Tomorrow he has to be to work early so I have to stay up til 4 am to wake him up because hes afraid he will over sleep.

**Anyway with all that he does would you leave this man? Or can you relate? How long would you work on a marriage like this before you called it quits? I don't work so I feel stuck! I will be leaving but I just wonder how long you personally could stay in this marriage and how long you would "try"? I want to feel like I have done everything I can to make it work.

More info in first reply

Replies

  • Twix.Leigh
    November 14, 2012 at 3:06 AM
    He would be changing his act REAL fast, or gone.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 3:07 AM
    I know its over. I'm way done! just wondering how long others could stand this?


    Quoting MochaBerry24:

    sounds like you already have your answer. 


  • MochaBerry24
    November 14, 2012 at 3:07 AM

    I would have never tolerated his BS

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I know its over. I'm way done! just wondering how long others could stand this?


    Quoting MochaBerry24:

    sounds like you already have your answer. 



  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 3:08 AM
    How long could you personally deal with this type of behavior before being done?


    Quoting Twix.Leigh:

    He would be changing his act REAL fast, or gone.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 3:11 AM
    He wont allow me to work. His behavior almost got me fired from my last job. So I would need to leave first. Which is hard since I don't have anyone I could stay with. I don't care though when the time comes to leave(soon) I will stay at a shelter till I get on my feet.


    Quoting GirlWSemiAuto:

    Have you considered just standing up to him and getting a job? Can you be more assertive?

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 3:13 AM
    I've been dealing with this crap for 5 years


    Quoting MochaBerry24:

    I would have never tolerated his BS

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I know its over. I'm way done! just wondering how long others could stand this?





    Quoting MochaBerry24:

    sounds like you already have your answer. 





  • GirlWSemiAuto
    November 14, 2012 at 3:14 AM
    Is he violent or emotionally abusive other than just being a lazy husband and father?

    Quoting Anonymous:

    He wont allow me to work. His behavior almost got me fired from my last job. So I would need to leave first. Which is hard since I don't have anyone I could stay with. I don't care though when the time comes to leave(soon) I will stay at a shelter till I get on my feet.




    Quoting GirlWSemiAuto:

    Have you considered just standing up to him and getting a job? Can you be more assertive?

  • isyn3cams
    November 14, 2012 at 3:16 AM
    This.

    Quoting Anonymous:

    I would leave...I could not be with a man who cared more about himself then his own family

  • Twix.Leigh
    November 14, 2012 at 3:16 AM
    Not long at all. Right now my SO works graveyards, comes home, lets me sleep in a bit while he gets the boys up, goes to bed, gets up, helps around the house, makes dinner, and then naps before work. However, my ex was like what you say. He quit his job, and would lay around the house, lazy, making messes, telling his mom i needed money for formula and diapers (when I did not!) and then spend it on booze. It lasted 2 months because he was "looking for work". The day I found his stash of applications for jobs is the day I kicked him out.
    You and your children deserve better. Get a job and tell him to smarten the fuck up, or GTFO! Good luck!


    Quoting Anonymous:

    How long could you personally deal with this type of behavior before being done?




    Quoting Twix.Leigh:

    He would be changing his act REAL fast, or gone.


  • AntzMom24
    November 14, 2012 at 3:19 AM

    Honestly, if it were me, I would make him do it on his own. He's a grown man. It's time he steps up and acts like it. If after forcing him to do it all on his own he STILL doesn't do the right thing, I would leave. Let him come home to an empty house. Maybe then he'll realize he just lost the best things in his life. I'm sorry you're going through this, and I honestly hope that he does see what he's doing to you and your family. 

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