Mom Confessions
Ok so exdh and I have three kids together...we were married 10 years before we split....Our kids are 13, 9 and 6 (youngest has a lot of health issues) we got together when I was just 15 and he was 18.....When we split I got the house, custody of the three kids with him getting them EOW and every other holiday and we work out summer time together...He was ordered to pay me 1,000 in child support a month..plus I went and got a full time job...(he was ordered to pay that much because of what it costs to raise my DD with her health issues...He is a good father who always takes his kids and pays support on time
4 years later and he just called me tonight asking for me to lower his child support down to 500 a month because him and his new wife are struggling to raise their two kids and her 1 kid since she now lost her job and her ex hasn't paid her child support in 4 months....I told him no and tried to explain that if I were to lower his support that would mean me finding a second job just to care for our DD needs and I can't do that especially with how hard it was to find this job that gave me the flexibility that i need to take our DD back and fourth to her specialist and time off when she is sick....He then got mad and asked me what he is suppose to do and that i should think about all the kids involved...I told him he should make his new wife get off her ass and find a new job (he said she has not looked since she got fired) and that his other two kids and his wifes child is not my problem..the only kids I need to worry about are our kids and no body else's.....
Now i feel bad :( However lowering his support is not an option since I need that money to help support our three kids including DD and all her meds. co pays, medical equipment, special daycare for after school ect ect
If you were in my shoes what would you have done?
***EDIT***In his favor When he married her she was working and getting child support, when they decided to have the kids she was working and getting child support so they were able to afford more kids..plus during that time he has gotten a good raise....when she is working and getting child support they live pretty good
Replies
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i would have done the same.Don't feel bad, your looking out for your dd and her well being, frankly the other children aren't your problem. Stand your ground momma!!
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He should have taken cs into consideration when he had his other kids. Not your problem.
But if you want to be helpful you could suggest a temporary cut until the wife gets on her feet. He can agree to pay half of whatever arises for your dd. -
I don't want to do a temp cut because that means going to court to get the temp cut and then going back to court to get it raised again and to me that is alot of hassle and missed days from work i don't need
Quoting JakesMom712:
He should have taken cs into consideration when he had his other kids. Not your problem.
But if you want to be helpful you could suggest a temporary cut until the wife gets on her feet. He can agree to pay half of whatever arises for your dd. -
The same thing. 1000 for 3 kids isn't that bad, my brother pays 1400 for 1 child! And like PP said, he should have taken his CS into account before having 2 more and taking on her child.
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I wouldn't feel ba he shouldn't of gone off and had more kids -
His second family is not your problem. Your kids come first, and her lack of child support or job has no bearing on your kids. Now if he had lost his job, that would be a different story, but that's not the case.
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You can't write up a temp agreement among yourselves? Once again, its really not your problem, only if you want to help him out. Just keep in mind, he could stop paying all together
Quoting Anonymous:
I don't want to do a temp cut because that means going to court to get the temp cut and then going back to court to get it raised again and to me that is alot of hassle and missed days from work i don't need
Quoting JakesMom712:
He should have taken cs into consideration when he had his other kids. Not your problem.
But if you want to be helpful you could suggest a temporary cut until the wife gets on her feet. He can agree to pay half of whatever arises for your dd.
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well in his favor when he married her she was working and getting child support...when they decided to have more kids she was still working and getting support...with her working and getting child support they do live pretty good...
Quoting NBean311:
The same thing. 1000 for 3 kids isn't that bad, my brother pays 1400 for 1 child! And like PP said, he should have taken his CS into account before having 2 more and taking on her child.
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I would have done the same. Don't feel bad! -
no we would have to go through the courts and child support unit because if he doesn't pay it all he will go in to rears unless we have it done through the courts
Quoting JakesMom712:
You can't write up a temp agreement among yourselves? Once again, its really not your problem, only if you want to help him out. Just keep in mind, he could stop paying all together
Quoting Anonymous:
I don't want to do a temp cut because that means going to court to get the temp cut and then going back to court to get it raised again and to me that is alot of hassle and missed days from work i don't need
Quoting JakesMom712:
He should have taken cs into consideration when he had his other kids. Not your problem.
But if you want to be helpful you could suggest a temporary cut until the wife gets on her feet. He can agree to pay half of whatever arises for your dd.