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Anonymous
I feel like I don't have the strength to fight anymore
by Anonymous
November 13, 2012 at 9:41 PM


Anyone dealt with ppd and struggled with rage/anger issues because of it? I sometimes feel my blood boiling over the stupidest things. And it worries me because I'm a sahm. I have a toddler and 1 yr old.

I'm on meds and I'm going to see my psychiatrist soon to address these problems. I've been completely neglecting my husband, its like we're roommates. I honestly wonder what it is about me he likes or even loves. I feel like I have nothing to offer anymore. People say I'm a great mom. Why? Because I change diapers, feed them, play with them - but then flip out when my 2 yr old moves a blanket I just folded? When I resent having to spend time with them day in day out? When I think about leaving - either just running away or permanently leaving this earth. I've never come close to acting on that last part, but I think about it a lot more than I used to.

I'm so tired. The anxiety is overwhelming and then after that subsides my whole body is just exhausted. I feel like I have nothing left to give but everyone needs me. And my poor husband ... why should he even stay? I almost want to just give him a free pass to cheat - though I know he never would. I want to communicate all these thoughts/feelings but it never comes out right. I feel like I'm literally alone in a deep, dark hole with no strength to get out.

Replies

  • beachbabies6
    November 13, 2012 at 9:42 PM

    im sorry , do you have someone you can talk to

  • lucky2Beeme
    November 13, 2012 at 9:46 PM

    Call your Dr tomorrow and asked to be seen ASAP. What you are feeling is not good or right. Maybe your meds need to be changed or tweaked. Maybe you need help during the day to get you through the day. Please momma there is help out there, you just have to find it. Also try writing your husband a letter telling how you feel and all your worries. remember he married you for better or worse. People don't run off because worse is happening they stay and show their love and support. Huge hugs. I hope you find and get the help you need.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 13, 2012 at 9:53 PM

    Thank you so much. I will let you know what happens w/my doc.

    Quoting lucky2Beeme:

    Call your Dr tomorrow and asked to be seen ASAP. What you are feeling is not good or right. Maybe your meds need to be changed or tweaked. Maybe you need help during the day to get you through the day. Please momma there is help out there, you just have to find it. Also try writing your husband a letter telling how you feel and all your worries. remember he married you for better or worse. People don't run off because worse is happening they stay and show their love and support. Huge hugs. I hope you find and get the help you need.


  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 13, 2012 at 10:03 PM

    BUMP

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 4:35 PM

    I just wanted to give you an update on my situation. I made an emergency appt with my psychiatrist and saw him this morning. He is adding Lexapro to my daily meds, so now I will take that in addition to Wellbutrin & Klonopin daily. He also diagnosed me with ocd tendencies, which is making my anxiety worse. I will be starting weekly therapy sessions. And enrolling in a 8 wk depression/anxiety coping group class.

    I plan to talk to my husband tonight. I am feeling better than I did Monday night but still pretty down. And also extremely fatigued, I have absolutely NO energy. But all that should improve soon.

    Thanks again for the advice and kind words :-)

    Quoting lucky2Beeme:

    Call your Dr tomorrow and asked to be seen ASAP. What you are feeling is not good or right. Maybe your meds need to be changed or tweaked. Maybe you need help during the day to get you through the day. Please momma there is help out there, you just have to find it. Also try writing your husband a letter telling how you feel and all your worries. remember he married you for better or worse. People don't run off because worse is happening they stay and show their love and support. Huge hugs. I hope you find and get the help you need.


  • lucky2Beeme
    November 14, 2012 at 7:35 PM


    Quoting Anonymous:

    I just wanted to give you an update on my situation. I made an emergency appt with my psychiatrist and saw him this morning. He is adding Lexapro to my daily meds, so now I will take that in addition to Wellbutrin & Klonopin daily. He also diagnosed me with ocd tendencies, which is making my anxiety worse. I will be starting weekly therapy sessions. And enrolling in a 8 wk depression/anxiety coping group class.

    I plan to talk to my husband tonight. I am feeling better than I did Monday night but still pretty down. And also extremely fatigued, I have absolutely NO energy. But all that should improve soon.

    Thanks again for the advice and kind words :-)

    Quoting lucky2Beeme:

    Call your Dr tomorrow and asked to be seen ASAP. What you are feeling is not good or right. Maybe your meds need to be changed or tweaked. Maybe you need help during the day to get you through the day. Please momma there is help out there, you just have to find it. Also try writing your husband a letter telling how you feel and all your worries. remember he married you for better or worse. People don't run off because worse is happening they stay and show their love and support. Huge hugs. I hope you find and get the help you need.


    thanks for the update I have been thinking all day I wonder how she is? . give the new med a few weeks and hopefully you'll feel much better. Huge hugs momma.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 14, 2012 at 7:38 PM

    ME TOO! I need a break. I flip out. I shouldn't. It's not good. I know it. I just need a minute. You do too.

  • NHGal
    by NHGal
    November 14, 2012 at 7:39 PM
    I am glad you were able to get help. It is a step in the right direction. And if you haven't talked what you are going through with your husband, please do. He needs to give you the support you need
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 14, 2012 at 7:44 PM

    OMG, I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I know exactly and I do mean EXACTLY how you feel.

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    November 14, 2012 at 7:55 PM

    It sucks ... I'm hoping the new meds and regular therapy will help. You should talk to a dr if you haven't already.  

    Quoting Anonymous:

    OMG, I thought I was the only one who felt like this. I know exactly and I do mean EXACTLY how you feel.


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