She gets the kids on Halloween, its not a holiday in their divorce decree, so whoever gets them that day just gets them.
2 weeks ago, they were discussing holiday plans and she told him he was welcome to come trick or treat with them. Yesterday, we saw her at my SD's soccer game, and I was telling her about the costume I got to wear trick or treating. She didn't say anything, just kind of ignored me. Tonight, she emailed DH that I am not "welcome" to join them. He is allowed to, but either he goes by himself, or he doesn't get to see the kids. What a bitch!
I see how its frustrating but she has a mom. You aren't her mom and sometimes it is good for kids to be with just their parents even if they aren't together. Don't make this a bigger deal then it needs.to be.