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A friend's SO did this and she is ok with it, would you be ok with it?
by Anonymous
October 14, 2012 at 8:12 AM

I have a friend who I have know for 2 years, one day she and her SO showed up at my kid's school for a play. I knew she had step children who went to the school, what I didn't know is that the step children's mother is NOT her DH's ex, she is legally, still his wife I figured that out when the wife introduced herself as "his wife". Later that night my friend called and explained everything to me. She (the wife) is Catholic and refuses to get divorced, even when her DH asked her for one. They struck a deal that he wouldn't have to pay child support or alimony for any of their 3 kids, which would be a substantial amount if they didn't get divorced. They both go to the same church and at church, his wife is his wife, my friend and her kids can't even go to church with him. At his family gatherings, his family and the wife's  family treat them like they are still married (yes, everyone knows about my friend and the 2 kids he has with her), my friend doesn't even go to them. I can't imagine living like this, they can't ever get legally married, in most peoples eyes, she is the other woman. I asked her why she would go along with this and she said it's because she "loves him". Would you go along with this?

Replies

  • JocelynsMama1
    October 14, 2012 at 8:30 AM

    I would be fine with the settlement and not getting a divorce if she didnt want to for religious purchases but I wouldnt be ok with the acting like they were married and attending church together and family functions and all that

  • michelleinfl
    October 14, 2012 at 8:31 AM

    No way.

  • 2ninos4me
    October 14, 2012 at 8:31 AM
    Your friend is dumb for settling down with being the other woman . And for getting involved with a man who obviously prefers money
  • Rhiannon1980
    October 14, 2012 at 8:31 AM
    It would not be for me but if she is happy and knows what's going on I don't see what the problem is.
  • JocelynsMama1
    October 14, 2012 at 8:32 AM

    its the wife who doesnt want the divorce for religious reasons and the husband whose commiting adultery not the same person

    Quoting blondie805:

    I always laugh when religion is used for this type of behavior!! So, getting a divorce is a sin but, adultery is the lesser sin? This is the craziest but, sadly not so uncommon situation that I have ever heard of. I think that they and the rest of those who choose to live like this need to get their heads checked.


  • SamsMomSays
    October 14, 2012 at 8:36 AM
    Those poor children!!! All of them!!!
  • Newmom8912
    October 14, 2012 at 8:41 AM
    hell no
  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous - Original Poster
    October 14, 2012 at 8:42 AM


    Quoting blondie805:

    I always laugh when religion is used for this type of behavior!! So, getting a divorce is a sin but, adultery is the lesser sin? This is the craziest but, sadly not so uncommon situation that I have ever heard of. I think that they and the rest of those who choose to live like this need to get their heads checked.

    I think thats why the wife wanted it, since she isn't committing adultery, she isn't sinning

  • blondie805
    October 14, 2012 at 8:43 AM

    I can see that. However, DH is going along with it instead of being the real voice of reason. Wife seriously needs to re-look at things and see what kind of example this is for her family and SO/DH needs to look at how this is affecting the kids. The "adultery" part is the same as the technical part of not getting a divorce.

    Quoting JocelynsMama1:

    its the wife who doesnt want the divorce for religious reasons and the husband whose commiting adultery not the same person

    Quoting blondie805:

    I always laugh when religion is used for this type of behavior!! So, getting a divorce is a sin but, adultery is the lesser sin? This is the craziest but, sadly not so uncommon situation that I have ever heard of. I think that they and the rest of those who choose to live like this need to get their heads checked.



  • weezer_cookie
    October 14, 2012 at 8:44 AM
    I would never allow my children to be treated as 2nd class citizens.

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